Born a Monster

456 Scout and Spy

The thing about being covered in blood, even the most inept people notice when you’re pushing a bound prisoner down the street in front of you.

“Taking this prisoner to Lord Guur.” I said.

“You mean Mayor Guur?” the guardswoman asked.

“Get out of the way and I won’t mention you called him that.” I said.

“Wait!” called the man. “Check my left pants pocket. I have an insignia ring, marking me as one of the secret enforcers. I am Thurio of Montu’s Glory...”

“I’m not paid enough to care.” she said. “This one, we know.” she said, gesturing at me. “Seems to me that a conflict between the two of you is Guur’s problem, not mine. Be along, now.”

Thurio snarled at me. “If you leave me with him, he’ll drag me into an alley and slit my throat.”

THAT got her attention. “Is that true?”

“Of course not.” I said. “Enforcer or not, I mean to turn him over to Lord Guur.”

.....

“And you are still a Speaker of Truth?”

“My name is Rhishisikk, and among other things, I am a Truthspeaker. Ask me your questions, I’ll tell you no lies.”

“Tell me you didn’t pay full price for that mutton skewer.”

“Of course I did. Was I entitled to any kind of discount?”

“No, no, I mean... it’s mutton. Do you like mutton?”

“Better than lamb.” I said, “I find the softness of lamb... disturbing.”

“Ask him if he’s always honored the tribes.” Thurio prompted.

She smiled. “And have you always done your best for the Uruk tribes?”

“Of course not.” I said. “I serve Rakkal, not the tribes.”

“And do you serve him well?”

“Not according to him, I don’t. Honestly, I have trouble seeing things as he does.”

“Uh huh. More words, short one.”

“I... I fail. A lot. I’m not the best warrior, or the best... anything, I guess. I am flexible, and can do a little bit of nearly everything. Rakkal... Rakkal is the Axe Hero, and often forgets the rest of us are mortal.”

She grunted. “That’s our lord and emperor, all right. Well, if you’re not going to just kill the man, get him to whatever prison he’s supposed to go to.”

We said our polite good-byes, and I was back on my way toward the civic center, George travelling in my wake. “Why aren’t you killing Thurio?” he asked. “I mean, I admit I’m not... whatever you are. But if someone stabbed me in the liver, I’d be angry about that.”

I sighed. “And the god of vengeance I need to report to tonight would be overjoyed.”

“Wait, I thought you just said you served Rakkal.”

“I do serve Rakkal.” I said. “I also happen to have an oath binding me to religious quests for Sobek.”

“How do YOU reconcile the serving of two masters?” George asked.

“By being a traitor.” Thurio said.

“I seem to recall you stabbed me, even said something about a reward?”

Thurio chuckled. “Kill a traitor AND get enough money to retire? You can’t blame me for trying.”

George took a half-step away, just out of my reach. “I think you should blame him for trying.”

“We’ll see what Lord Guur has to say, first.” I said.

“Just reach into my pocket.” Thurio said, stopping and turning his left side toward me.

“Why? Scorpion? Spider? Snake? Poison needle, perhaps?” I gave him a shove.

“How little you trust me.” Thurio said. “If you’ll just free my hands...”

“Move.” I said. “You’ll understand if I don’t trust hands that stabbed me today.”

He sneered. “I’ve learned that bravado often covers for a fearful demeanor.”

“Is that what you think motivates my actions?” I asked.

“All people are alike.”

George blinked. “Are you? People, I mean?”

“Don’t ask me.” I said. “I don’t know. Evidence actually suggests not.”

“At least you know yourself.” Thurio said. “You said I was going to have a bad day. You just wait. Your day is going to be much, much worse.”

“Well, less than a block, now, and we’ll see how that plays out.”

Just a hint? If you have no warrior levels, don’t try to wrestle out of the grip of a Pankratios. Not after your wrists are bound behind you. Not when he has two ranks of Strength on you.

It’s just embarrassing. For both of you.

“That actually looked... practiced.” George said.

I sighed. “I have many classes, all at level one.”

“Put me down!” screamed Thurio. “I refuse to be carried like a sack of cabbage!”

“Do you, perhaps, have a class that could fashion a working gag?” George asked.

“It’s just so much less effort to go do this formally.”

“Your courage in meeting with the military overlords with one of their agents in such a state is... I find myself lacking in words.” George said.

“Aiding and abetting!” Thurio said. “You’ll find yourself lacking a head, you assistant traitor.”

“Hold!” George said, “I wish to examine his eyes.”

And then, “Huh. All right, continue.”

“What did you see in his eyes?” I asked

“The truth!” Thurio said.

The hobgoblin closest to us shook his head, and waved us inside. I managed, in spite of Thurio’s struggles, to only bang his legs on the door frame.

“George?”

“Hmm? Oh, no sir. I’m sorry, I’ll be all right at this inn over here. I’ll see you when you leave.”

“I’m probably spending the night here.” I said.

He performed a short bow. “George the Bard wishes you a safe trail and the sun never in your eyes.”

Ah, crap. Gustavian had once taught me that one... just a few years ago.

“May the smiles of many warm your soul, and make light the tread of your feet.” I guessed.

George broke out into a broad smile. “Close enough, I’ll accept it.”

We bowed to each other.

“Oh, quit behaving like a gay man, it makes me want to puke. Let’s get to someone with authority, so that I can have you beheaded properly.”

I turned to one of the servants, an elderly uruk, one touched but only slightly bent by age. “Lord Guur is in the feasting hall?”

“The training yard, Lord Little Lizard.”

“Training yard?” I asked.

“Behind the building.” Thurio said. “It doubles as an executioner’s spot, so it will be MOST convenient. NOW LET ME GO.”

“Quit wiggling, or I’ll actually hurt you.” I replied. “If you are who you say, you’ll be free in a few minutes.”

“My concern,” he said, as we made our way through the well appointed rooms, “is for your life and reputation. I can’t claim the bounty on your head if you are publicly executed by the state.”

He tried kneeing me in my head, and then to scissor his legs around my neck. Not bad moves in theory, but it seemed to me that he was slow and not “practiced”, as George would put it.

The door into the back suffered a massive slam as I approached it.

A roar from a minotaur throat, sharp and highly pitched, but not quite feminine, sounded.

“Ah. Uma is here.” I said.

“The sister?” Thurio asked. “What would she be doing here?”

Another bellow matched hers, and there was the sound of metal striking metal. Something sent wooden logs scattering, scraping against the brick back of the house.

“Let’s find out.” I said. The door was not locked, but it’s difficult doing such simple tasks while carrying a struggling person.

Guur was the first to laugh, holding up his hand to call a pause to the sparring session.

.....

“Oh.” Uma said. “Him again. And,” she lifted Thurio to look him in the eye, “who have we here?”

“That,” Guur said, “is Thurio. Honestly, I always thought he was nastier than you, smallest brother.”

“That failure is not our brother.” Uma said. “So Thurio is what to us, exactly?”

“Thurio is ... a covert asset.” Guur said. “I’m surprised he didn’t stab you.”

I turned my back, tapped the bloody spot. “He has stabbed me.” I admitted.

Guur broke out in laughter.

“He slaughtered guards! He’s a traitor!” Thurio shouted.

Uma dropped him. Nothing broke, but he landed poorly. “This drama, brother, is caused by your foolishness. I leave you to clean up your own mess.”

“Tell Gyrfalcon I said hello.” he waved at her.

“What I do, and with whom, and when is NONE OF YOUR CONCERN.” she said, nostrils flaring.

Guur tsked at the state of his blade. “Didn’t say I disapproved, only that I notice he is here and the others were lost at Whitehill.”

She snorted. “Lost people aren’t held for ransom.”

“I’ve already told you to let that go. Even if we had the money, Rakkal would never let us squander it on people who surrendered.”

“What if they were just knocked out?” I asked. “Captured?”

“Weak.” Uma said.

“Weak.” Guur agreed.

“I will point out that this one has been captured multiple times.” Thurio said.

“Thurio.” Guur said, looking directly at him, “I will remind you that my smallest brother captured YOU. After. After you stabbed him.”

And Guur broke out in open laughter.

“Boys.” Uma said. “I’m leaving.”