Classless Ascension

A legion of sloths could be seen trailing behind a single man. The monsters that were considered an unstoppable calamity were behaving.

Tons of serious MTA soldiers guarded the perimeter. They were extremely diligent, for they knew the catastrophe that the sloths could cause. But when they saw Josh, they lost all composure.

"Holy fuck. Please tell me I'm dreaming."

"What do you mean? Is there something behind….what the hell?!"

"Quick! Sound the alarm and—"

"No, look! This guy is the VIP that entered a few hours ago!"

"What are we supposed to be doing?!"

But that's when the man in front waved at them. He had a calm smile and showed no sign of being in any danger at all. "Sup, guys. Which way is D-23 again? Just point toward it."

Most were too shellshocked to answer. One guy finally raised his arms, shakily pointing. Josh mouthed a silent "thank you" before progressing once more. Their shock only increased when he began shouting nonsense at his followers.

"Follow the leader! Follow the leader! One small step for man and a huge leap by slothtrosities' standards! Remember, there will be plenty of rest once we reach our destination!"

This didn't make any sense! Common sense said he should have been dead long ago. They wondered why no sloth was ever using its special attack. But the mystery was soon cracked open. One sloth began yawning.

The ability brought all of them to their knees. They felt like it was over. They would die and sleep till the end of time, and so would the entire Metropolis. Nothing would change their—"Holy crap! Did that guy just bitchslap a sloth?!" The shock was enough to wake them up.

Josh even looked satisfied after doing so. "I already said to stop with the yawning! Keep walking, no bullshit!" He sounded like he was reprimanding a little kid. To which the creature only grumbled, dispirited.

The vast majority of the soldiers began following from extremely far apart. What about their work? What was the point in guarding an area void of enemies?! They were either shaking in excitement or shaking in worry.

Such a huge movement was quickly noticed by the citizens and travelers. One had to remember that flying cars were usually circulating. From the air, this looked like a giant herd of buffaloes moving about.

That day would be a memorable one. The amount of cars malfunctioning would hit an all-time high. Each came with an AI driver that most used. It was possible to update these, and the MTA had even pushed for a fix against the sloths. The cars would automatically avoid these monsters.

One such example was a young man called Erwin that was flying over to Metropolis-D at that very moment. He had spent lots of time researching biology from humans to the most exotic animals.

He couldn't help but be excited about these otherworldly sloths. Thus, one could picture his marvel when he discerned the moving sloth pack out of the corner of his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to thank his luck.

He couldn't believe his eyes. What kind of genius had already managed to tame this alien species?! The man had to know so much about them! He could hear his heart thump so damn fast! He would have to get down and talk with this guy no matter what!

But that's when it happened. His dashboard suddenly showed red warning signs. BEEP! But with every new sloth detected by the AI, it became worse!

<Danger detected! This area is now considered potentially dangerous.>

<Danger detected. This area is now considered war-zone danger level.>

<Danger detected. This area is now considered a 100% deadly zone.>

<Activating life preservation measures.>

<Calculating: all power sent to back thrusters.>

"Abort! Abort!"

<Request Denied!>

"Fuck!"

Then with unbelievable power, the flying car automatically left at a maximum speed far away from the Metropolis and the sloth army. The sloths that were behaving had sent every car flying anywhere near the Metropolis on an automatic evacuation.

"Noooo!" Erwin shouted. He wanted nothing more than to get close to the sloths. Why had he installed that damn update?!

Many more drivers were now losing their hair over the same issue. Hundreds of flying cars could be seen leaving the city at full speed in the opposite direction to the sloth pack. No amount of screaming in protest stopped these vehicles.

The developers for the car AI had never considered a situation where so many sloths would move together. Every single sloth was considered an impossibly strong menace. Now, with all of them combined…

Josh naturally noticed the wave of cars. "Talk about people over-exaggerating" he couldn't help but scoff. Then again, they weren't exactly wrong.

He had been looking at his UW, exchanging information with Dario as he walked. He had all the time in the world with how slow these creatures were.

These sloths turned out to be a big problem for technology. Their yawn ability could affect machines somehow.

Every robot tested against them had ended up losing power after a single yawn. It seemed like their power was way more magical than anyone could have expected. Theories proposed that one required the mana stat to resist that skill.

As for heavier armament, it was relatively easy to wake them up with bombs but harder to actually hurt them. One guy had calculated that they could blow up the entire Metropolises B-C-D region, and the creatures would still survive.

Anyway, Josh was being noticed right now. There had been the cars' exodus. There was a huge pack of monsters and the soldiers following. He could even see a special flying vessel equipped with cameras and a red-colored spot-light flying over them.

<Huge D-News> Their sign read. He usually wouldn't have minded, but why the heck were they incensing his sloths by shining light on them?!

The poor creatures were already struggling to keep up. He only had negative punishment and the fact that they were confused to drag them with him. Now, there was this blinding light flashing straight into their eyes, annoying them.

"If they think I'll take this lying down they are wrong!"

Josh slowly approached a sloth. This specific one looked the most incensed and was probably one of the smartest of the lot. Josh pointed at the offenders while yawning himself.

Either the sloth understood the meaning, or Josh's yawn was just contagious, but it used its ability. The creature was expecting a slap, but he just patted it on the back happily. At that very moment, the creature realized that there was a time and place to yawn.

Meanwhile, the flying car was crashing. The passengers, a man and a woman, barely activated their emergency parachutes in time as they evacuated. They were angrily screeching s they fell in slow motion.

Josh quickly connected to their news streaming channel. It was pay to watch, but as a Climber, he could afford this easily. They were still recording as they threw insults toward both him and the sloths.

The chat was definitely very active:

- LittleMeekFlower: OMFG! Did he really just fucking order a sloth to take them down?! This dude is a motherfucking legend! I wanna have his fucking babies.

- WastingTime: That wasn't meek at all -_-. Anyway, It's understandable. He's dealing with killing machines and these guys just shine beams right at them. How stupid are they?!

- JustHereForDrama: Can you believe all the insults that these two hosts are throwing toward that guy?! I really hope for them he doesn't hear it. Then again….

- SlothsAreCute: Seriously, how the F is he perfectly fine?! Did you see him stand right next to that yawning sloth?! He didn't even wince! How?! Who is he?!

<ThatGuyWithTheSloths has donated 1000 credits! "You guys should really stop cursing…or else….">

- CaptainObvious: Oh no! Look at the stream. The guy at the front seems to be fiddling with his UW, doesn't he?! Then look at the latest donation message! Could it be a coincidence?!

That's when the male host took notice of the message. "That Guy With Sloths, you're not funny! I'll swear if I want to. This guy crashed our car and almost killed us! That asshole is the lowest of low-lives! He doesn't even deserve to live on this planet. He should just die and—"

The rant was way longer, but at that point, most stopped listening. There was something else happening.

<ThatGuyWithTheSloths has donated 1000 credits! "Whatever, catch! ;)">

The netizens watching the show couldn't help but be pleasantly horrified. On the screen, they saw the man at the front stop as he headed toward a confused sloth. Before, it would have tried mauling him, but not anymore. Josh pointed toward the flying screaming humans.

The sloth opened its mouth, ready to yawn, but Josh shook his head before gesturing something that the watchers instantly understood.

- CaptainObvious: Oh god! He said catch! OMFG!

- CuteGiant: I'm watching with one eye closed!

- HighJeff: I'm recording this!

Then, he could be seen lifting a sloth into the air before throwing it toward the journalists. The creature flew into the air, its maw showing extremely pointy teeth and its deadly-looking claws extending to grab them.

"Noooo! I'm too beautiful to die!" Despaired the female host.

"I wanna go back home to Candice! Go away, foul beast!" The man screamed in fright.

Luckily the creature missed them entirely before plummeting back to the ground. BAM! It made a small crater in the ground before lazily getting up as if nothing had happened.

The place became deathly quiet. All cars were gone, the people in the distance were flabbergasted, and the journalists didn't dare talk shit anymore. All the shit had come out of their rear end at this point.

- WallWhiteWithMySe: This sloth guy is badass. These reporters shat themselves! He doesn't care if you are pretty. That guy's wife is not called Candice either, lol. They screwed up big time! XD

On the ground, Josh was satisfied. Plus, he had received a piece of very great news. That is when appeared at the horizon a fleet of cars...

Creator's Thought

There will always be smart people making bad decisions and dumb people making dumb decisions. The developers for the cars really couldn't have planned for me to do this. As for the reporters? These were entitled idiots and I was totally ready to kill them if they kept pissing me off.