Classless Ascension

[A/N] Special characters are used in this chap. Check paragraph comment if it's too hard to read ;)

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In a forest laden with the remains of too many dryads, a man stood holding a glowing branch.

Josh had just finished reading the incantation that he felt an enormous pull on his mana. It was as if this little stick was a ravenous monster that would devour all energy. This was crazy! He felt like he would soon be entirely mana less at this rate.

"Enough, I've already given you plenty!" He chastised the stick. This felt bad! At this moment, he couldn't help but give a wry smile. #When you nut, but she keeps sucking!

As he was about to go crazy, it finally stopped. The branch was now glowing a deep purple as it levitated. It appeared pretty frankly amazing and emitted an intimidating aura.

That's when it suddenly began to radiate outwardly before an incredible suction happened toward the environment. The grass, the leaves, the fallen branches, and everything remotely similar got aspired in!

All these materials began hovering around the floating stick, akin to a miniature tornado. Josh couldn't help but be impressed. This was a goddamn Weednado! At this point, this item was worth it just for the production value!

It just kept spinning in place for about a minute, akin to a very high-quality spinner. Then there was a flash of purple light that reminded him of the dryad spells. As the light faded away, a creature appeared in all its glory.

It radiated incredible power, far more than anything it should have and far more than the mana he had invested. He could feel the thing's presence weight heavily on the realm itself. Was he imagining it or was it even showing signs of breaking?!

As it appeared, the entire atmosphere changed completely. The air began to quiver as the countless plants seemed to come alive as they all tried running away from the being.

Something was incredibly wrong here! What the fuck was happening?! His only consolation was that the summoned being wouldn't be able to hurt its owner. (According to the item description)

He was akin to standing in the eye of a storm as the plants all around began dying at an incredible rate. Green energy would come out of them as they disintegrated into magical particles that flew toward the creature.

Was this still Floor 23?! Wasn't this a bit too over the top! There was finally an opponent to AT's over-the-top scenarios! Holy fuck!

That is when the light completely rescinded, and he was able to peer into the monster's features. It looked like a relatively young man that had an easygoing air about him. Its entire body was extremely high definition. It was made entirely of taut grass that formed a regal-looking face.

It was way different than the crude creatures he had seen so far! It finally opened its eyes as it stared at him, unfocused. Was this thing blind?! It waved its hand slightly, and instantly thousands of weed tentacles crawled his way.

Josh tried evading. But, he was akin to a pebble trying to avoid a tsunami: fucked! He was instantly caught without even being able to counterattack. He was holstered in the air akin to a Japanese heroine!

Just as he tried to talk to the creature, a weed blocked his mouth, making only an unintelligible mumble come out. What the fuck?! It was time for him to leave! He tried using his will to request a teleport out, but it didn't work.

Had it been a full day yet? If yes, he could activate his dimensional belt. Sadly, even this failed him. No matter. Long ago, Josh had received a dimensional escape pearl, one that he still possessed. Without waiting any further, he activated it!

"?????? ?? ??? ?????"

Trying to run away? Of fucking course! Who would remain here at this thing's mercy?! But the being waved his hand, and the pearl that Josh had hidden in his pocket shattered. Oh crap! What kind of overpowered thing was this?!

"? ???? ??????? ???????? ???, ????????? ????."

What?! This guy believed Josh to be the Greenwood Lord? How?! Couldn't he tell them apart?! There was a limit to blindness! Josh had the god's curse, but that was it!

"???? ?? ??????? ??? ??? ??? "?????" ??? ????????."

Revenge for trampling weeds? Who hadn't trampled weeds while hiking?! As for any sentient forest creature, it was all self-defense! Josh could only swear internally as the thing didn't give him the chance to explain himself.

? ???? ?? ???? ?? ? ??? ???? ?????. ???? ???? ???? ????? ???? ??? ?????? ???? ??????! ??????????

This weed? Was this monster originally a weed or something?! It was fine if it wanted to kill the Greenwood Lord, but it should freaking make sure it had the right target first!

???? ?????? ??? ???? ?????????? ???????? ?? ???? ?????? ? ??? ???? ???. ??? ???? ????? ??????!

An attack designed to kill a god?! That's when the creature pointed its hand at him...then came the deadly green light. The Floor disappeared as only green light remained, nothing else. Josh was nowhere to be seen…

Oh, Josh was still there, completely intact. He just couldn't be seen.…

This thing had come out of nowhere, had mistaken him for the Greenwood Lord, and tried to kill him with a special suicidal anti-god attack. What the fuck?!

Josh felt that this Floor had been a roller-coaster of weird things happening. It was as if the S-ranked curse had thrown everything in disarray. From him one-shotting a boss to surviving a blow designed only to affect a specific god.

It took a while for the green light to recede, but as it did, Josh couldn't help but gasp in astonishment.

The place was completely falling apart. There were dimensional tears in the surrounding space that led to god knew where! They were black akin to a dark hole and seemed full of sharp wind that could cut anything in existence.

As for the forest...Well, there was no forest. Everything was gone, with the ground covered in ashes. Josh could only stand there flabbergasted as he observed the realm that was utterly trashed. This single attack had wiped every plant and disrupted space itself.

"Teleport me the fuck out!" He shouted, but nothing happened. Luckily he still had his dimensional belt. Hopefully, it would work when the first day was finally over.

Still, he couldn't help but gulp. This had been one insane annihilation spell! Not only was it unavoidable, but it would vanquish all its targets instantly. This was the power he aspired to gain. It would allow him to reach the top, right? All he wanted was to have them back, really...

Just as he was about to walk to a safer spot, something attracted his gaze. Amidst the ash, there was a shimmering purple light, one surrounded by plenty of spacial tears. He carefully went forward and began digging, grabbing the badly beaten branch and retreating to safety.

There were cuts along its entire surface as if it had been placed in a grinder. In some places, the damage was almost enough for it to have been reduced to splinters.

Suddenly, he felt the thing begin to drain his mana once more. It did so far too quickly! He instantly swung his arm to throw it away. He wasn't going to risk falling here from mana deficiency. Who knew if he would even survive it?

But he then realized with horror that the damn thing was glued to his hand! He would skip to his plan B. If he couldn't remove it, he would hack it to pieces! Without hesitating, Josh swung his axe toward it.

As it made contact, he grinned. This would teach it to go against him and— but his body suddenly twisted in incredible pain. Lots of blood poured out of his abdomen. The pain wasn't the worst: his new injury was at the exact spot he had attacked the stick.

Oh god! What was this, a voodoo stick?! It seemed like they were linked as the mana-sharing process was ongoing. Luckily his passive was healing him with the last of his energy.

1. He could destroy it and potentially die from the recoil. This sure would be a pitiful ending.

2. He could try and outlast the drain somehow. He didn't know what to do at all!

Clear strategies never covered this kind of stuff! He began eating the little food he had on him, but it was akin to a drop of water in a desert.

"Navi, come out! Do you have anything useful for this situation in your database?!" But, the fairy was unresponsive entirely. Now even this was failing!

Should Josh summon his pets? It would take mana. He could always try to eat Nightmare to regain a smidgen of mana through devouring. Just as he had the thought, he pushed it away. The creature had saved his life many times. He wouldn't treat it like this.

He turned to his old gear. He just had to remember that one time he had eaten Iron. He slowly began munching on literal metal and regained a small amount of mana.

But eating this also hurt him, making it so most of the mana gain was used for regeneration. But he wouldn't stop. He would devour it all! He kept going until there only remained the few item sets he used daily.

He kept glancing at them with a heavy heart. He was ready to throw it all away if it meant surviving, but he would wait till the very last moment. He laid on the ground, feeling more and more lightheaded as his mana kept getting sucked in, observing the space fluctuations.

He sighed. This damn stick really was amazing! There was a saying that said: birds die for food, and humans die for wealth. Well, in this case, all could potentially die from the same cause. He could picture a bird bringing a stick back home to build its nest, only for it to be this stick.

Was this even relevant? Josh was beginning to feel delirious. Or perhaps was he still fine since he was conscient that his mental state was wacky? Who fucking knew.

He kept munching on the Zoom set like a trooper. But at some point, he noticed something out of the corner of his eyes. There was an ever slight green glow that had just appeared! Wait, this was the same glow as the creature's attack!

He instinctively felt it. This thing was its remnant energy. He finished eating a piece of armor, using the energy to rise. He looked like a zombie, groaned like a zombie, and walked like a zombie, but he slowly made his way to it.

There came a tiny voice from the green light. It seemed to be rejoicing that it had survived. Josh didn't give a fuck about it.

"Screw you!"

He ate the thing, instantly feeling a burst of energy! So much energy that it was euphoric! And this was only a tiny remnant of the being too! It was phenomenal. In a matter of seconds, the stick had absorbed it all!

The stick emergency finally stopped. He would survive, and so would his item sets. He patiently waited for his dimensional belt to be available and activated it while crossing his fingers. As he disappeared from the Tower, he sighed in relief.

In his wake, there remained only a scene of destruction and a Tower falling to pieces. As soon as he was out, he quickly realized that the outside world was going crazy too...

Creator's Thought

This is something I only learned way later: The best way to trick a god is to be completely unpredictable and to do something utterly stupid. (Like sealing oneself into a random stick). They don't see it coming because it's dumb. Still, one shouldn't do it precisely because it's dumb...