Classless Ascension

"T̶h̷i̵s̷ ̸i̶s̵ ̸i̵m̵p̷o̸s̸s̷i̷b̷l̶e̵!̵ ̶H̵o̵w̷ ̷d̵i̸d̴ ̶y̸o̷u̶ ̸d̴o̷ ̸i̸t̷?̴!̸ ̵" The being bellowed, its voice cracking from the shock.

They couldn't wait to learn this incredible secret. No matter how they racked their brains, they had no idea how he could have done it. After all, soldiers had died in mere seconds after a slight touch by a single chaotic tentacle…

How was this guy completely fine after literally staying in a chaos tornado?! It didn't make any goddamn sense. It was as if they had seen a mountain fall on an egg, only for the mountain to explode in a million pieces. It was highly illogical!

"How did I do it? What do you mean? I just stayed here without moving. It's not like there is any trick to it. Your power only works with the user's consent. I simply declined the Terms and Conditions." Josh shrugged.

"N̵o̸ ̸w̸a̷y̷?̸!̶ ̴T̸h̸e̵r̴e̵'̸s̵ ̴n̵o̸ ̶w̴a̵y̷ ̸y̶o̴u̸'̷r̴e̸ ̸h̸u̵m̴a̴n̵!̶ ̵A̶ ̷h̷u̶m̸a̵n̸ ̴h̴a̵s̴ ̵t̵o̸ ̸h̸a̴v̵e̴ ̸d̸e̸s̴i̵r̶e̵s̵ ̵a̸n̵d̵ ̸f̴l̴a̵w̷s̴!̷ ̶."

"I have plenty of desires and flaws, but none that an idiot like you can exploit. Hell, you wouldn't even be able to sell me a pen with how much of a shitty salesman you are." Josh sneered.

The bystanders choked as he said that. What did being a good salesman have to do with resisting OP magic?!

"Oh, this makes sense! If you don't fear this guy, then he's 100% useless. If he had been a good salesman, he would have been way more convincing." The young girl nodded in agreement.

They all felt like the world was going crazy. How was such a high-level fight being resolved like that?! It seemed like the villain was as irreconciled about such an ending as them.

"C̵u̸r̵s̴e̸ ̶y̶o̴u̴!̸ ̴I̶'̴l̴l̵ ̸k̷i̴l̵l̸ ̸y̴o̷u̷ ̵n̶o̵ ̴m̸a̵t̸t̴e̴r̸ ̶w̴h̴a̸t̶!̶ ̸I̶ ̷s̶w̵e̷a̴r̶,̷ ̷n̴o̴ ̴m̷a̴t̶t̷e̴r̶ ̴w̵h̶a̸t̵!̷ ̸O̴h̴ ̸c̸h̵a̴o̷t̸i̶c̶ ̴o̴n̶e̶,̴ ̵I̴ ̴o̸f̵f̵e̴r̴ ̶m̸y̷ ̴e̵s̴s̸e̶n̸c̸e̴,̷ ̴m̶y̵ ̷s̵o̴u̷l̶,̸ ̸a̷n̵d̸ ̵m̴y̶ ̶e̶v̶e̷r̸y̵t̴h̴i̸n̷g̸ ̷t̸o̴ ̵y̶o̷u̶.̷ ̸P̵l̵e̵a̸s̶e̷ ̴g̵r̵a̶n̴t̸ ̴m̴y̷ ̸p̶r̸a̴y̵e̶r̸ ̸a̶n̶d̷ ̸d̴e̷s̸c̵e̶n̶d̶ ̷u̶p̷o̶n̴ ̴t̵h̴i̸s̵ ̷m̴o̷r̷t̴a̸l̶ ̵w̶o̵r̵l̸d̵!̸ ̴"

That's when the last remaining vestige of darkness exploded. Just like that, it was gone…The creature's last words were dreadful: it had summoned a monster to avenge it, right?!... But then nothing seemed to be happening...

"Did it fail?"

"What was it even trying to do exactly?"

"Who knows, but it's a good thing it freaking failed."

"Yeah, that's plenty of excitement for one day. Everything is over, right?"

A shaky voice resounded, one which showed deep fear. But as they realized who had spoken, they became scared shitless too. It was contagious.

"T-this is b-bad. N-no, it's terrible! We're all doomed!" The mysterious man, who had been calm all this time, couldn't control his own nerves anymore.

"W-what's happening?!" a Climber asked, terrified.

"T-this madman just called a true god over. This world is utterly doomed! It just had to be a chaotic god too! We're fucked!" He screamed, despairing.

"W-what?! W-why?! What does it mean?!"

That's when thunder began to echo all around, or at least that's what it sounded like. It was far worse...

The vast sky above Metropolis-C suddenly turned black without any warning. A second later, the space began to show signs of fracturing, as it had done in the Tower. Anyone witnessing this felt deep and uncontrollable terror.

It was the coming of the fucking apocalypse!

Every news channel covered the issue, but none had any clue about what was happening.

Still, everyone agreed that they were all fucked! Many Metropolis-C citizens began evacuating as quickly as they could, but many just stared at the sky in disbelief, too scared to even move their legs.

It covered such a large area that it took a few minutes to locate its origin, the freaking Fallen event. What the fuck was happening in there?! A barrier blocked the castle, and the only spectators were too dumbfounded to communicate with anyone.

Maybe it was one hell of a party! (literally)

Then, the sky above Josh began changing. Two glowing purple stars appeared, slowly moving akin to two ginormous eyes until they stared at his general position. Then the spatial fissures formed the vague shape of an enormous face.

"What the fuck is that?!

"T-this is the divine projection of a true god." The mysterious man replied.

"You're telling me this..thing is a god?! Why does it look like that? Shouldn't it have a body?"

"No, it's only a projection. I'm not privy to the details, but there are tons of restrictions concerning such a situation. This being will only be able to use an infinitesimal fraction of its true power. Near 0 even." The mysterious man explained, finally having calmed down.

"So we have a shot at survival?!" One eagerly asked.

"Nope, we're all dead. Had it been any other god, only the offender would have died, but it's the end." He sighed. It seemed like he had accepted his upcoming death.

"What?! Why?!"

"This one is a god of chaos…chaos grows. A single spark is enough to doom a world. We're fucked, and you all should come to terms with it." He slowly uttered.

"Maybe it will take pity on us and won't kill us all?!" One optimistically uttered.

"We can only pray for it to be the case."

Just as they were praying, Josh began shouting. He was so loud that they had no problem hearing every word he said. At that moment, they knew they were royally fucked!

"Oh? So you're the Prime Corrupting Evil? That sounds so needlessly edgy! Still, I have to admit that you're pretty quick to show up. I just fucked your grandson up. What are you gonna do about it?!"

What the hell was he doing?! Was he intentionally trying to doom them?! If it wasn't enough, he even began flipping the bird toward the deity with both freaking hands! Why?!

They couldn't help but cry. This was how humanity would perish….what a fucking tragedy!

That's when a cute voice was heard: "You can do it, Josh, go go go! Beat him up!" They couldn't help but stare at the little girl with their face twitching. Beat him up? That was a fucking god!

But Josh wasn't done. No, he kept monologuing, shouting at the gigantic silent face.

"Bla Bla Bla, you talk too much! What's with that long-ass introduction? Can't you just go with a casual one: name, job, one hobby? Here I'll give you an example." He cleared his throat, taking a deep voice.

"Hello, I'm some chaos bitch deity, my job is to spread chaos, my hobby is intimidating humans for no freaking good reason, and I love being an idiot! See, it's not that hard!"

"You're still acting high and mighty?! I mean. C'mon! You literally have the worse power ever. Do you think you can fuck me up with your reduced abilities? You're fucking dreaming."

"You know what? Do you want to curse me? Well, fuck you! I'm the one that's cursing you! I'm placing a fucking Assassin's Promise on your goddamn giant fucking head, you prick!"

"You better wash your goddamn neck cause I'll be coming for you! Do you even have a neck? Either way, you're going down, you bastard!"

Suddenly, the gigantic face began glowing as a darkish purple ray fell straight on Josh. The madman didn't even try to dodge! He opened his mouth wide...gulping it?!

As the face began to rescind, Josh was still standing, singing his arms excitedly while spouting profanity at the retreating god....and still doing a fuck you gesture!

What that actual fuck had just happened?!

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[A/N] You all ready? It's fucking mass release time! ☠ 3/8 !! ?

Creator's Thought

Fuck these asshole gods! They come in randomly and expect you to tremble from their mere presence as you beg for forgiveness. Screw them! If your fucking dog starts randomly killing humans and is put down, you don't avenge it. You fucking apologize for its misconduct! That's basic decency!