Classless Ascension-Novel

Chapter 91: ?Embarrassing Training?

While many wondered what devious plan Josh had in store, he was talking decoration.

Josh had just paid his rent, paid his electricity bill, and?was discussing with the guy Dario had sent to renovate his room. The poor man kept nodding while listening to Josh's demands, unsure of how to react.

"First, I need a door. One that is soundproof and will nicely cover the entrance."

*Nod"

That much was a given.

"Can we get some cool lights in here? Maybe ones that have different settings. You know, normal, dim, 'interrogation room' and even the 'will blind your dog eyes' one."

*Nod*

The man wondered who exactly Josh was trying to blind and why.

"What about the bed? Can I get a pretty sturdy one? Perhaps one that comes with nice leather straps. You know, to tie the pillows to it."

*Concerned nod*

To tie pillows? Coincidentally right after he asked about interrogation grade lighting?! That sounded so sketchy already.

"For the pillows, I want soft fluffy ones. I want it to allow one to sink his whole face in it easily."

*Very concerned nod*

Was he planning to suffocate someone in this very room?!

"For the blanket, I'd like one that is nice and heavy. Then, a fine rug on the floor. As for the color, I'm thinking blood red for both."

*Couldn't be more concerned nod* The man was obviously planning to torture people here.

"I'll need a fridge and a freezer too. The first one doesn't have to be that big, but the latter needs the size to accommodate about 3 human bodies, I'd say."

*Actually considering calling the Black Squad Nod*

But this job had been requested by Dario himself. He didn't have the guts to go against Draconic for such a trivial situation. Plus, buying all these things wasn't a crime. The issue was more how Josh was evidently going to use them. That is when the troublesome client spoke again.

"Right, can you also add some robots for cleaning just my place? Some cool-looking ones like the killer robots on that one television show, Reality C. Ah, and maybe an electric chair, you know the kind that-"

"I know! Don't worry. I'll take care of it! Can I go now? There is somewhere I need to be soon." For the first time, the man didn't simply nod. He exuded both confidence and worry. He was probably already late for his meeting.

"Alright, take care!" Josh waved him goodbye with a smile. Good thing he had remembered to ask for a massage chair too.

He had expected this to be more troublesome, but he had been pleasantly surprised. He expected the man to ask him plenty of precise questions to understand exactly what he meant, but no.

It was better this way because decoration-wise, he could have been called Josh Snow, for he knew nothing about it. His usual approach had been to leave the walls plain white and call it a day.

Talking about walls, it was time for some magic. Josh equipped the White Spider set and instantly invoked the spider phantom. It appeared and began making some "tsk-tsk-tsk" sounds and then some "REEE" screeching. How impressive! It was bilingual!

He then used the aspect of the spider, and it felt like he had a new sense completely. He began Climbing and then climbed some more. Upward, downward, left, right, a random direction who cares? Josh tried them all.

Not only did he quickly get used to the power, but he figured something else out. He could use the ability for 30 minutes in total. But after 26 minutes, it would start to impact his fighting capabilities.

This could seem like Josh simply playing around, especially with the big-ass smile on his face, but it was legit training. He wasn't only playing a spider man for fun. It would potentially save his life later on in the Tower.

The next task on the agenda was to figure out the items he had just gotten from Draconic.

3 X Equipment Holder: Check ??

Old set placed in one Equipment Holder: Check ??

White Spider Set in another one: Check ??

Having both in each respective hand: Check ??

Becoming the fastest quick-changer alive : Motherfucking Check ??????

He simply had to hold the item while wishing to switch. It was almost instantaneous too. Officially, Josh was testing this new loot. Realistically, he was just having a blast.

In the beginning, he feigned seriousness, but it soon degenerated. Josh even went as far as adopting a cute tone, a pose akin to a ? magical girl ? , and then shouting embarrassing lines as if in a transformation sequence:

"? I am Josh Motherfucking Malum. Defender of Earth, coolest Fallen, top-notch Climber! Be ready for the White and Sticky! In the name of Peace, Friendship and Magic ? ~ I'll fuck you up." He said the very last part in the deepest voice he could muster.

That's when came a gulping sound, right behind him. Somehow, Josh had been so immersed that he hadn't realized that someone had snuck behind his back. The lack of evil intent from the individual hadn't helped.

How is one supposed to react to such a situation? At this precise moment, both men were asking themselves that very same question.

The man wore a simple worker's outfit that covered his entire body properly. In his hands, he had a gun, one that was currently pointed downward to the ground. His face was completely frozen as he tried to understand the current situation.

The man had come here in high alert, ready to face any monster, but had seen…THAT instead. The sewers were actually constantly monitored by U-Bots in charge of cleaning. Humans couldn't access their data, but they received alert signals from time to time.

For instance, someone in need of assistance would instantly be answered with an instant dispatch. In this case, the U-bots had reported strange sounds and movements. It was theorized that some insect had probably mutated and ended up in the sewers.

The man was here to investigate. He had been told, "If it sounds like a monster and moves like a monster, then it's probably a monster." The tense man had courageously come forward, gun in hand, only to see this abomination.

Thus both men shared a look, both at a loss. How was Josh supposed to guess that something like that would happen?!

He was right in his backyard too (kinda)! How was he supposed to explain that? But then he had a flash of insight as he began laughing.

"You should see your face, man! Oh my god! Priceless! If you look right there. Yes, right there. Hidden camera! Then in that other direction, hidden camera too!" Josh said as he pointed in totally random places.

The man suddenly relaxed, loosening his grip on his weapon. Suddenly Josh had gone from dangerous or potential creep to some normal guy that was just pranking people. In haste not to seem too slow on the uptake, the man even played along.

"Oh, so that's it! I had my suspicions, but I wasn't 100% sure you know."

"Right, of course, no worries…." Then Josh began to bullshit him about a fake prank show called Prank'd that he completely invented on the spot. Ah, the power of bullshit. Not once did the man take the time to wonder why Josh had set up such a thing the sewers.

Still, all is well that ended well. Josh had some fun. The man left the place with a tale no one would believe. Josh happily headed to the G district to eat.

In the Unstoppable Dinner, the chef awaited him with the reproachful eyes of a neglected mistress. "I thought you were dead." he went.

"I already told you I wouldn't kick the bucket! Stop worrying, old man. If you were a cute girl, maybe I wouldn't mind, but …" Josh teased while faking a sigh.

The man simply nodded before going back to the kitchen to busy himself. Before long, Josh was eating tender salmon cooked to perfection. It had been slowly marinated in a garlic sauce, and it just melted in his mouth. As a side dish, there was carrot puree that surprisingly tasted amazing.

Josh couldn't help but marvel at how cheap food was in this world. He had just ordered 70 servings of Salmon and yet could easily afford it. Back on Earth, it would have been a few months of his food budget used in this single meal. Here it had cost 10 credits, with a tip.

Josh felt like a nouveau riche. Did it matter that there were people out there more wealthy than him? Not at all. He would enjoy himself, and that was sufficient.

For now, he felt that fancy food providing buffs was a waste of Credits. His fights were either too easy and didn't require it or too long, and it would expire before seeing any use. He'd just eat here for the amazing taste.

As he ate, he researched a bit. Floor 13 was apparently known as the first one to host poison. It was recommended to get some antidotes in advance just to be safe. Josh knew how potent poison and difficult to guard against it could be.

At first, he planned to simply head toward the B district, but then he saw a comment on a forum. Apparently, it was possible to get some directly from the source in the C district. His target was now a place called the Golden Cauldron.

They were an A-rank guild, the same as Gemini and that other one, the Adamantium wolves. As he arrived there, he couldn't help but suck in a breath.

These guys were true to their guild name. Their building was quite literally a giant Golden Cauldron. That would be his first time seeing alchemy at work. Hopefully, he would get a new lifesaving measure...