Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 339 - 338 - Crazy

Point-of-View: Shiro Blanc

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"There you are, I've been looking for you!"

Hm? I glanced over to see Minise jogging over to me, waving as she did. It was about an hour after I'd had my conversation with Belia, and I was aimlessly roaming the streets while sorting out my thoughts.

"Oh, hey...you feeling better?" I asked, a bit awkwardly...what is with me, I don't like not understanding myself like this...

"Yeah, a lot better...thanks to you. Seriously, I thought I was going to die, I owe you big-time...thanks a lot, dude," She replied with a grin.

"Sure, uh...don't mention it," I responded, averting my gaze.

"Hm, considering that you saved my life, a simple thank you isn't going to cut it...ohh, I know, how about I treat you to dinner right now? It's kinda early, but I just woke up a little while ago and am starving, so what do you say?" She suggested with a smile.

"Uh...I don't know...," I trailed off uncertainly.

"You know what, I'll take that as a yes...come on, let's go!" She exclaimed, grabbing my wrist and pulling me along.

Well, I guess this is fine...I am kinda hungry anyway, so why not?

...

"Oh my God, yes! You totally get it, dude!"

"I mean, yeah...there's nothing stopping you from having dessert for breakfast, just because others might find it weird or whatever," I replied with a shrug.

About ten minutes had passed since we stopped by a restaurant, we'd somehow ended up talking about unusual meal choices...a really dumb topic, but somehow...I was invested in the conversation.

"Exactly! The whole idea that only certain types of food are appropriate for each meal is ludicrous! Like, there's nothing wrong with eating cereal or pancakes for lunch, or having chips and a beer for breakfast, you know?" She grinned, as she took a sip of water.

"I don't know about that, beer first thing in the morning is kinda-," I began.

"You only say that because day-drinking isn't an normalized as drinking at night is! If someone drinks during the day, they'll probably be seen as alcoholics, even if in terms of volume, they drink a lot less than someone who goes drinking at night!" She pointed out.

"Okay, yeah, I see what you're getting at...and you have a point, I suppose," I agreed...kinda.

Her eyes then lit up as the waiter returned with the food we'd ordered...I'd gotten a fried chicken sandwich, fries and a mixed fruit juice for myself...and she'd gotten a good three or four times the amount of food that I had. I'm not even joking.

She'd ordered a turkey submarine, a beef burger, a bunch of chicken wings and a serving of pasta. I wouldn't have thought that someone in as good as physical shape that she's in would eat so much. Huh, then again, she had been talking about nothing but food this whole time...

"Ooh, this looks great! Hey, you sure that's enough for you? No need to hold back, feel free to order whatever you want," She remarked, before cleaning off all the meat on one of her wings in just a couple of seconds, with impressive efficiency...

"Uh, well...I'll decide after I eat this, if I'm still hungry," I replied, taking a bite...mm, not bad, a little too spicy but nothing I can't handle.

"So, um, hey...mind if I ask you something?" She requested, as she munched on a forkful of pasta.

"Oh, uh...sure, go ahead, I guess."

"I was just wondering...why'd you save me?" She inquired curiously, "I spoke to Cus a little while ago, she said you, like, rushed in to help me, and that if you hadn't, I might have died. And I just wanted to know why you jumped in to save me."

Well, this is awkward...how should I answer her when I myself haven't yet figured that out?

"I, er...don't really know. I wasn't really thinking, I guess," I replied awkwardly, averting my gaze, "I've never helped anyone before without an ulterior motive or deceptive reason, so I don't quite understand it myself."

"Oh...I see. Well, whatever the reason, thanks again...I legit though I was a goner back there! One second I was keeping those Ghouls at bay, then the one that I tore in half grabbed me and caught me off-guard for just a second...and the next thing I knew, I was being torn apart and unable to move," She recalled with a shudder.

"Yeah, according to Belia, their fangs and claws secrete a mild paralyzing fluid...the more they scratch or bite you, the harder it becomes to move," I explained, before adding, "Monsters like that being respawnable is concerning, if they ever run wild, they'll massacre everyone indiscriminately."

"Yeah, and there's like five hundred of them, set them loose on Abyss or the Laus Domain and they'll almost definitely wipe out a huge chunk of the enemy forces," She surmised.

"Almost definitely...after all, no matter how much they get killed, they'll just keep coming back, and instantly at that. I feel like they're serious threats as they are, it might be better if they weren't respawnable," I agreed.

"Is that possible? To make them not respawnable anymore?" She asked, as she munched on a forkful of pasta.

"Well, yeah, it is...I'd just have to absorb the Undead King's life force into myself, or transfer it to someone else. Gotta say, I like the irony of transferring it into you, after nearly being killed by the Ghouls, you'll have total control over them," I remarked jokingly.

"Heh, I actually kinda like the sound of that, and getting new powers would be cool too...it's become abundantly clear over the past few years that you can only go so far with you natural abilities," She sighed wistfully.

"Hey, I like the sound of that too! Let's do it!" Suddenly came a voice from between us...as Belia's face popped out of portal above our table.

"Are you serious right now?" I groaned in exasperation.

"Hm? Ohh, right...I'll be back after you two are done eating, sorry for interrupting, enjoy-...hey!" She exclaimed, as I interrupted her by swiftly grabbing one of Minise's chicken wing bones and jamming it into Belia's left nostril.

"Could you just leave, please? People are staring!" I hissed irritably, as Belia left with an indignant look on her face...before popping in again from a higher portal and throwing the bone back down at me with a loud huff.

"She's, uh...really something, huh? It's hard to believe that she's one of the oldest beings in this world," Laughed Minise in amusement.

"You have no idea," I sighed in exasperation.

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Point-of-View: Sylvar Miirphys

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"Damn it, what the hell is wrong with you!?" I exclaimed, taking a step back.

"Ehehehe...what's the matter? I thought you wanted information...come on, torture it out of me already! Assuming that you can, that is," She chuckled in response.

"This human is...disturbing," Frowned Bell uneasily.

"Very much so, I believe she has lost her mind," Agreed Esta, keeping her distance warily.

"Bitch, I never claimed to be sane, did I!?" She cackled in response.

We'd been interrogating the human woman, Gela, for the past hour or so...and so far, she'd just been leading us around in circles, messing with us. Bell had been using one of her daggers to try and get her to talk, slowly dragging the blade across her skin, along with zapping her with lightning streaks...but it was no use.

Gela was covered in cuts and burns all over, and all she did was laugh the whole time, scoffing at our attempts to torture her. I mean, to be fair, none of us have ever done this before, so we're far from experts, but still...all this should be hurting a lot, how the hell is she just grinning and bearing it like this!?

"Damn it, talk already!" I snapped, punching her across the face, "Answer our questions!"

"Heh...now that wasn't half bad," She remarked with a dark smirk, before spitting out a broken tooth at me, which struck the side of my face and bounced off, "If you really think a bunch of small scratches and mild lightning damage is enough to affect me, you're sorely mistaken...come on, you can do better than this, stab me, tear my skin off, gouge my flesh, tear off my nails, just do...something!"

"Y-you're insane," I stuttered, stumbling back as her deranged gaze met mine, a wide, crazed grin on her face.

"Come on, I can't escape these restrains no matter what I try, and since you're the ones who restrained me, it's your responsibility to make use of it! Make me scream, make me beg for you to stop...that's right, if you want any information out of me, you're going to have to work for it, make me do what you want! Well...? What the fuck are you waiting for, huh!?" She exclaimed, before breaking out into loud, maniacal laughter, flecks of blood spilling out of her mouth as she threw back her head and laughed.

I, uh...I don't think we're equipped to handle this level of crazy...

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