Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Point-of-View: Sylvar Miirphys

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Wow, this place looks so...festive. And nostalgic. It was the 14th of February, Valentine's Day, and I was currently visiting Abyss, along with Bell and a bunch of others from Idyll and Liberty. I hadn't been expecting much coming into this, but I gotta say, this is awesome...there were tons of stalls and stores selling various forms of chocolate, special events and attractions for couples, and a whole lot of people.

There were even stuff like haunted houses and chocolate eating competitions, with a lot of the attractions having discounted entries for couples. It almost feels like I'm back in my old world, this is pretty cool...

"Hey, Sylvar, I do not quite understand what this festival is about...what is this 'Valentine's Day'?" Bell asked me curiously, her nose twitching as the scent of rich chocolatey goodness wafted through the air.

Oh, right, I sort of just brought her here without much of an explanation...actually, after we got the invite, along with a box of small chocolate samples, I was so excited that I didn't really bother to explain what kind of an event this was going to be.

Yeah, looking back, all I really said was 'it's a celebration of love', and no one really questioned me because they were too busy savoring their bits of chocolate. Also, I'm just realizing that I hadn't eaten any chocolate at all in my first one hundred and fifty years or so in this world...so, yeah, I'm gonna savor the hell of out of today and absolutely stuff my face.

"Hm? Oh, it's a day that celebrates romance, to put it simply. Basically, it's like an extra special day for couples...well, our races don't really get serious about romance like humans do, but hey, it's not like there's any rule that says that only serious couples can enjoy this day. Traditionally, in the worlds that this originated in, it's a day where you give chocolate to someone you love, specifically the person that you have the most affection for," I explained to her.

"I...think I understand," She responded uncertainly, before adding innocently, "If I am interpreting your explanation correctly, then I should give you some of this 'chocolate' stuff?"

Huh? Wait, does she mean...w-wow, uh, that kinda blindsided me. I'll try to play it cool though...

"S-sure, I'd appreciate that. And I'll get you some in return too," I replied with a thumbs up.

"I look forward to it...these treats are absolutely divine," She mumbled with a gulp, her mouth watering.

"I know, right?" I grinned, before spotting a stall with some pretty reasonable prices and suggesting, "Hey, how about we buy some now, and then go check out some of the attractions they've got here?"

"Yes, okay, I am feeling rather curious and fascinated by all of this, there are so many things here that I have never seen before. Let us explore as much of it as possible, Sylvar!" She responded eagerly.

She's so excited, it's adorable...back when we were living up in the floating island, the only festival we had was an annual celebration at the start of each new year, but if I'm being honest, it was pretty boring.

I mean, Sant was the one who came up with it, so no shit. All we did was gather together in the evening, eat and drink for a couple of hours, and that's about it. I tolerated it by getting drunk as shit and passing out early. Alcohol doesn't affect my inhibitions all that much, all that really happens is that I get a bit wobbly and sleepy.

Anyway, after we bought some chocolates from the stall I spotted, we began roaming around, looking for something fun to check out, as Bell happily munched on the chocolate.

"You sure seem to be enjoying that, aren't you?" I remarked, as I ate my fifth piece since coming here, unable to control myself.

"Yes, I am! Hey, if you press it between your tongue and the roof of your mouth, it slowly melts and tastes even better!" She exclaimed in response, a bit of chocolate on the side of her mouth.

Huh, I wonder how she'll react if I-...let's find out. I leaned down and licked that spot, cleaning up the chocolate...but she didn't even notice, a blissful expression on her face as she let more chocolate melt in her mouth. Not gonna lie, that kinda bruised my ego a bit.

"Hey, wanna try that?" I suggested as I spotted a booth off to the side.

Let's see, it's called 'How Well Do You Know Your Partner?'...the entry fee is kinda expensive, but if we get a perfect score, it'll be free and we'll get some chocolate as a prize too. I guess we're supposed to answer questions about each other or something like that? Kinda sounds like the newlyweds game from my old world.

"That sounds quite interesting. I would like to try it," She replied with a look of intrigue, as she read the signboard outside the booth.

There was a line of people standing outside, but only a few, three couples, to be specific. We got in line and waited our turn, quickly making it to to front of the line. Looks like each couple takes less than five minutes to finish this. And we couldn't hear anything inside, I guess it's soundproofed.

We then entered the booth as the couple that went before us came out, looking kinda sour. Guess they didn't do too well, huh. A female Vampire was seated inside, behind a wide desk, with two more chairs on either side of the table.

"Welcome! You will be playing a game of 'How Well Do You Know Your Partner', I will explain how it works," The Vampire greeted us in friendly tone, before explaining the rules, "Sit across from each other and pick three random cards from this blue box...each card contains a question, as well as a unique number. Next, pick three more cards from this white box...all of these ones are blank. After that, write your answer to each question card on one of the blank cards, with you being the subject, and also include the unique number so that we know which answer corresponds to which question."

Okay, simple enough so far...

"While you are writing the answers, I will raise this partition so that you cannot see each other's answers. And after you are done writing, place the answer cards facedown in a row, and place the question cards facedown in a stack, and then swap your question cards stacks with each other. You will both then take turns answering the stacked questions, and your partner will reveal whether or not your answer is the same as what is written on their facedown answer cards...that concludes the explanation. Now, begin drawing cards from the boxes, and make sure that your partner does not see them!"

Huh, okay, this sounds like pretty good fun. Alright, let's see how well we do. After we finished filling out the blank cards, Bell went first, drawing the question card at the top of the pile and reading it out...

"'What is you partner's favorite thing about you?'...I see, so I have to guess what your favorite aspect of me is?" Inquired Bell, as she read the question.

"Yup, that's right," I responded with a nod.

I, uh, don't think she's gonna get this one...I wrote 'cuteness' on the corresponding answer card, the chances of her guessing that seem kinda low...

"Hm, this is rather vague...it could either be a physical aspect or something to do with my personality...this is quite tricky...," Frowned Bell, looking uncertain as to what to say, before she suddenly turned slightly red as it seemed like something had occurred to her, "I am not certain that this will be correct...but sometimes, when I speak, y-you abruptly say something like 'so cute' o-or 'you're so freaking adorable', so...this is rather embarrassing to say about myself, but my answer is that Sylvar's favorite thing about me is how c-cute I am. I-I feel mortified saying that out loud..."

Huh, the Vampire chick had a kinda awkward smile on her face, as Bell buried her face in her hands, her face turning bright red in embarrassment...

"R-right, uh...why don't you reveal the answer?" The Vampire prompted me.

"Huh? Oh, right...well, it's not the exact wording, but...," I replied, as I flipped the card.

"Oh, wow...," Blurted out the Vampire, looking taken aback, "I-I mean, er, congratulations, the first question has been answered correctly!"

"I guessed correctly?" Responded Bell in surprise.

"Why are you surprised?" I laughed slightly in reply...though I couldn't deny that I was pretty surprised too.

"Well, I...did not think that you would actually write that. I only made that guess because I could not think of anything else," She admitted sheepishly.

"Okay, now it is your turn," Remarked the Vampire, keeping the game going.

I see, she makes sure each couple finishes quickly, so that those standing in line don't have to wait for too long. Even her explanation of the rules was spoken pretty quickly.

Alright, Bell somehow managed to guess the answer to that question correctly, so now, the pressure's on me...all three question cards that I drew were pretty vague, I guess they intentionally made it that way so that I'd be difficult, since they don't want every single couple to end up getting perfect scores and end up giving away a ton of free chocolate...

I picked up the card at the top of the pile and flipped it around, letting out an internal groan as I read the question...

"It says...'If your partner was to describe you using one word, what word would that be?'...," I read out...seriously, how the hell am I supposed to guess this!?

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