Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Point-of-View: Azyl Roake

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"Oh...I actually did it. Huh," I said to myself in surprise.

It was the end of February, and I'd been working on trying to create various new spells. When I reunited with Elina a couple of weeks ago on Valentine's Day, she mentioned some of the spells that the Rustlands was working on, which gave me some ideas.

Most notably, a spell that allows the caster to take over someone else's body. It was highly risky though, since it's an infliction-type spell, so if someone's got an anti-infliction enchantment cast on them, it'll fail...and the caster will die.

In other words, this spell converts the caster's 'soul' or whatever into an invisible projectile that's fired at a target, and then takes over the target's body, displacing the target's soul and effectively killing them.

Ideal to use against an enemy who's stronger than you...of course, you need to make sure that you don't miss and that they aren't cast with an anti-infliction enchantment, so the best time to use it is probably after capturing an enemy, restraining them and nullifying all active spells on them...using it mid-battle would be way too risky.

Anyway, a few days later, I had a thought...this spell would be ideal for infiltrating an enemy using a spy. Simply capture an enemy and have one of us transfer ourselves into their body...but, then, our old bodies would decay and die in the meantime.

So, how to fix that? The answer I came up with...was to have them swap bodies instead of a simple one-way transfer. That way, we can always switch them back later on.

Of course, this'd be a completely different spell to the one Elina told me about, and we probably don't need it right now since we've established peace with all the other existing nations, but...it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Now that we have peace, we have time...we need to use that time to prepare for the next conflict.

That may be a year away, or a hundred years away, or maybe it's even further off into the distant future...regardless of the specific time frame, if and when war rears its head again, we need to be fully prepared for every possibility. And besides, I wanted to take on the challenge...something that would've been unthinkable for me a couple of years ago.

Anyway, the spell I created uses two Spell Cards. The two people involved in the swap will each have to hold one, and then activate them at the same time. When they do, they'll switch bodies, and because of the way it works, an anti-infliction enchantment won't stop it.

Though if only one person activates it, then it simply won't do anything...nothing happens unless both people activate the respective Spell Cards at the same time. Of course, an enemy probably wouldn't be willing to cooperate with something like that.

But that's fine, because Kuro's Chaos Magic can simply brainwash them into complying. And if he's not around, that's fine too, because I've created a spell that can replicate that brainwashing effect, not to mention that we've got plenty of Demons with Chaos Magic too.

I've been testing this spell out using rats, and after a few days of trial and error, wracking up a pile of rat corpses in the process, I finally did it...I switched the bodies of two of the rats.

I could tell because I'd frozen one of their legs, while I didn't do anything to the other one. Once I activated the spell, the both seemed confused, and by their reactions, it was clear that the spell had worked as intended.

I was then snapped out of it as a knock on the door echoed out, before someone opened in and stepped in...oh, it's Selesa and Misen. Wonder what they want?

"Hey, I'm here to deliver a bunch of empty Spell Cards and blank parchment," Remarked Misen, as he set down a wooden box.

"I'm here to bring you these, some food and drink! I was just wandering through the castle when I ran into Zero, who asked me to take over for him...hehe, I agreed in exchange for a look at his dick, I wanted to see what a Vampire's d-," Began Selesa with a grin.

"You can stop," I interrupted her with a sigh of exasperation.

"Damn, you've sure got a lot of rats in glass boxes in here, huh? Gross...," She remarked, as she looked around.

"Not anymore, I'm finally done. I'll need someone to come by later and get rid of all the rats."

"I'll go inform one of the Vampires," Replied Misen, as he began to leave.

"Hey, so what kind of spell is this, anyway?" Inquired Selesa curiously, Misen pausing by the door and glancing back with a look of interest too.

"Oh, it just switches-...," I began, before trailing off as a thought occurred to me, and I suggested, "Actually, why don't you test it out instead? Here, take these and..."

I explained to them how to activate the spell as I handed over the Spell Cards...probably shouldn't be using them to test our a spell that I've only just completed, but hey, I'm like, ninety percent sure that it's going to work as intended now. If something goes wrong, I'll just blame my poor judgement on my fatigue...

"Ooh, let me do the countdown! I'll go down from three, and we activate the spells on one!" Proposed Selesa, before counting down, "Here goes, three...two...one!"

For a moment, there was silence...before the both of them stared at their bodies in disbelief.

"Alright, it worked...you've both swapped bodies. Okay, now just activate it again, and-," I began to instruct.

"Ohh, wow, so this is what it feels like to have a dick!" Exclaimed Misen-...or rather, Selesa...-with a look of intrigue, as he-...I mean, she...-stuffed her hand down her pants.

"Hey, stop that, you sick pervert!" Exclaimed Misen in Selesa's body, grabbing her-...or technically, his...-arm and pulling it back out.

"Aw, don't be like that...how about this, you can totally grope my body if you want, I don't mind at all! In the meantime, I'm gonna go take your dick out for a test drive!" She declared eagerly.

"What? No, wait-...!" He began in alarm, before trailing off as she ran out of the room with a gleeful laugh, before he could stop her.

"Probably not the best time to say this, but seeing your body acting all cheerful and carefree is just...wrong," I remarked in bemusement.

"Hey, this is your fault, fix this!" He responded in dismay.

"Sure, I can do that...but first, you're going to have to bring her back here," I shrugged in reply.

"Why should I have to-...!?" He began indignantly.

"You really want her, of all people, to be running around in your body unchecked?" I pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh...ohhhh, shit," He muttered, before dashing out of the room in a hurry.

Well, uh...this should turn out to be interesting, if nothing else...

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Point-of-View: Selesa Jeule

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Wow, this is amazing! Feels so awesomely weird, and I love it! It's definitely hard to get used to, though not having boobs is actually...kinda comfortable. Like, it's easier to run now.

Having a penis was decidedly less easy to get used to. How do I control this thing? It gets all stiff so easily, are guys this easy to turn on? All I need to do is think of something sexual for a couple of seconds, and boom, it starts swelling up.

Touching it while it's all hard feels nice...I wanna find a place to jerk it off! I'm just...I'm just so curious! As I hurried through the hallways, looking for a place to be alone, I nearly bumped into someone, who swiftly responded and got out of the way.

"Watch where you're going, would you?" He sighed as he met my gaze.

"Oh, hey, Kuro! What's up, d-...ow!" I began to greet him cheerfully, before he cut me off by punching me in the face as a look of confused bewilderment appeared on his face.

"Oh, uh...sorry about that. You just really creeped me out right there...the hell's up with you, Ragiu?" He frowned warily.

"Huh? Oh, that's right...actually, uh, I'm not Misen. It's me, Selesa! Az just used some kind of body swap spell on us, and I gotta say, dicks are even more fascinating that I'd previously thought! How do guys control them? How do you-?" I began as curiosity took over.

"Woah, slow down a sec! This is weird...so I'm not getting involved. Though if you want my advice...don't tell anyone else who you are, pretend to be Misen but act like how you always do. Later," He remarked, before walking away.

Aw, man, I was hoping to convince him to show me how to use this dick, that'd have been pretty hot...heh, but I gotta say, his suggestion sounds like it could be a lot of fun. Yeah, let's see how much I can enjoy myself in this body...

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