El remordimiento de Alfa: Mi Luna tiene un hijo

Valen regresé unos minutos mas tarde con una toalla antes de marchar al bay cerrar la puerta mientras murmuraba por lo bajo. Escuché el comienzo de la ducha y suspiré.

aunque tenia razén.

Los medios se volverian locos por dos compaiieros, especialmente uno con estatus en la ciudad pero viviendo separados. Los escandalos a los que conduciria, y solo podia imaginar la especulacién que causaria y la ruptura una vez que todos descubrieran que yo era, de hecho, la hija de Alpha John.

Esa era otra cosa que tambiénpreocupaba porque saldria. Los secretos siempre lo hacen, nunca permanecen ocultos, y sé que todo saldré a la luz cuando indaguen en mi pasado.

Sin embargo, la idea de tener que responderle a alguienasaltd, y viviendo con Valen, sabia que tendria que hacerlo, ademas de que él podria ejercer su rango sobre mi, sin embargo, las historias que estarian en los periédicos. Yapodia imaginar los titulares. ‘La rivalidad de la manada mantiene separados a los companieros’.

‘Las formas de hacer trampa de Valen’ ‘Problemas con el notoAlfa’ mierda estipida y eso se apilaria encima de ‘Everly, la cazafortunas atrapando al Alfa’. unos. jMierda! Nunca pensé en los diferentes escenarios, y ahora parecian interminables. Valen salié del bacon una toalla enrollada alrededor de su cintura.ignoré y pude sentir que estaba molesto.

mordi el laantes de levantadel sofa, caminar por el pasillo hacia su habitacién y abrir la puerta. Valen se estaba preparando para ir a la cama mientras sacaba el sabanas hacia atras. “Si vienes aqui para decique no quieres vivir conmigo o para damas excusas de mierda, Everly, no quiero escucharlo”, dijo Valen, subiéndose a la cama y tirando de ella.

las mantas arriba. Se alejé de mi, de cara a la pared, y suspiré antes de duchay regresar a la habitacion.

Rebusqué en su armauna camisa para poneantes de meteen la cama con él. A través del vinculo,di cuenta de que todavia estaba enconado por nuestra discusién y muy despierto mientrasdaba la espalda.

“Dijiste antes que querias ser mi Luna. ;Cémo esperas hacer eso si vivimos separados? él dijo.

“La reunion Alfa es en dos dias. ;Qué esperas que les diga a todos? Everly y yo somos amigos, pero es complicado? Esto no es como actualizar el estado de F¥*+<+k de Everly; Entiendo que no quieres que te marque todavia, pero al menos inténtalo, joder. Permaneci en silencio, reflexionando sobre mis pensamientos y sus palabras cuando se la vuelta para mirarme.

“;Qué tienes miedo de que haga, que sigues negandote a tratar de hacer que esto funcione?” pregunté Valen.

There were plenty of things | was afraid of, Valen taking control of everything in my life when | only just got ssemblance of the normal back in it. | was scared of him taking my son andlosing the hotel and everyone who relies on that place, worried about the rogue woman losing everything when they have no jobs because | failed them.

But most of all, | was afraid of ending up back in a shitbox car living in the train station parking lot with Valarian.

| was scared of losing everything, just like | had. Going back to having nothing and no one, at least with how things are, he can’t control everything. He can’t take it from me.

“Anything | say will sound like an excuse,”1 tell him and he sighs.

Unless you had lived with the hopelessness of failing at everything and having no one to rely on, you couldn't understand how terrifying it is to allow someone else to have even the slightest bit of control when you worked so hard to get where you are. Moving in with Valen would be trusting him not to breakagain, not to take everything | worked hard for away from me, trusting him not to throwaway like trash like my family did.

“Try to explain, | want to understand Everly, no bullshit just tell me,” Valen breathed, frustrated.

“I lost everything for our son, everything Valen. | had no one and only him until | found that place. No one helpeduntil Valarie, my own father, couldn't bear the sight of me. Society displayedas svile homewrecking whore; | lived with that. The other rogue women lived with that. | won't lose it all, | won't go back to that place where | let myself think | would have help, only to find out | wouldn't and that everything could be taken away from me,” | answered honestly.

| used to use the excuse it was his cheating, the fact he didn’t recognize me, but deep down it had nothing to with that because he was here now, he proved he would stay, it was my own thoughts that ruined everything, | knew it was toxic, and my own safety mechanism but it was the truth. Until you hit rock bottom and clawed your way back, no one can tell you not to fear ending up back there again. And that thought terrified me, | had too much to lose now, and if I did, | would lose everything, including my son.

“But no one is taking anything from you, Everly,” “You did. | know that it’s in the past, | know you want to make up for it, but it fucking haunts me. Do you have any idea how lonely it is when you have a baby relying on you to keep it alive and fed when you have nothing and no one to help? Then to feel so selfish for forcing that life on a child. Choosing yourself over your own kid because you can’t bear the heartbreak of giving them up, you can’t bear the thought of letting someone else raise them, | lived with that guilt of thinking | was destroying my son, so | damn near killed myself to earn the right to be his mother, one he deserved, | created a life for us, | won't lose it, “I tell him.

“You do deserve him, and none of that will happen again; | am here now,” Valen says.

“Yes, you are, but what happens once you mark me? You makegive up the hotel? Take it from me, from them. Before Valarian, | was oblivious to how this city was run, like any other Alpha. Shunned the rogue whores until | found myself one of them. Zoe, Macey, and I, we built that place. | won't allow you to take it from us, from those that work there. | won't just quit because you want a Luna. And | know you expect that. You expect that because it is what is taught to us. Luna’s abide by their Alpha. The Alpha has control. No one should have that sort of power over someone else,” “You think | will make you give it up?” Valen asks.

“Yes, but | am also worried about what they will think when | becone of those that suppressed them in the first place. You markingdoesn’t just affect me, it affects them when | becwhat society wants, what you want,” | tell him.

“What do you want then?” “What | want is for my son not to be ashamed because he is rogue, | want the stereotypes gone. | want everything | have worked for to mean something so our son can say she tried. She had nothing but made something, something that made a difference, and that is why | don’t want you marking me. It will be like throwing everything we worked hard for away if you makegive it up, to toss what | was trying to change away, and all of them will go back to being just another rogue whore, and | will just be another selfish Alpha,” | tell him.

“I just want my mate Everly, that is all,” “You say that now until everyone starts putting pressure on you to forceto conform to their ways, you think | will remain quiet in Alpha meetings? When they speak garbage against the way they treat rogue-whores or when the packs bring in another law that restricts them more, like the stupid schooling cuts they made last year? It will cause an uproar, one that will reflect poorly on you because you can’t keep your Luna in line. You pull rank over me, Valen. You will have control, and when they kick up a stink that | am speaking against the way they have lived for decades, | know you will use it against me,” | tell him clutching my head. Everything was so fucked up, and the stress was beguinning to get to me, the stress of the mate bond, the hotel, people going missing, my father and this stupid Alpha meeting. Tears burned my eyes, | was so sick and tired of the responsibility but at the st| needed to keep going.

“No, you think you know, Everly. | am not trying to take anything from you; use your title how you want. Fuck, abolish the laws for all | care, I'll even help you,” I scoff and drop my hands and look over at him. That would go down well, the media would tear shreds off him, his pack would beca laughingstock. | shake my head. He seems to think it is so easy. That | should just accept him because his title could help, but it could also destroy everything. Valen sighs and sits up on his elbow and looks down at me.

“I mean it, Everly, you want to help the rogues. What better position than one of power? Change the laws, change their views but do it withby your side and in your corner, you think you have to solve all their problems yourself; you don’t.” “You backingwould start a war, Valen. Wars never solved anything just got innocent people killed,” “Yes, you're right. But then those wars ended up in history books and beceveryone's turning point; A reflection of how we messed up and a place to see the error of their ways. You're worried about war? The packs are always at war, but why not go to war for something that will hold value, give a future to someone who otherwise had none? You have my pack. They will fight for you if you are my Luna, they will fight for the rogues,” My brows crease as | think over his words, yet him saying it and allowing it after he markedare two different things.

“one thing | have realized since meeting you is that the rogues hold just as much value, and are capable of more than they realize, because not one of your people have ever talked down to me, treateddifferently or those that enter your doors, they treat everyone with kindness even though they are shown none, you want to change the laws, change things for the rogues then lethelp you,” “You could go back on your word, though, Valen,” | whispered. He could ruin everything becausetaking that title gives him everything | own, what the rogues own.

“I won't, I swear | won't, and | will prove it,” Valen sighs, dropping his head on my shoulder and groans. He felt defeated, yet | could also tell he understood because his anger was gone.

“How?” | ask.

“Because tomorrow | will open up my packs schools for the rogue children, and | am shutting down that terrible place you call a school.” he lifts his head back up and presses his forehead against mine.

“Besides, when | spoke to Valarian about changing schools, he refused unless Casey and Taylor could cto his new school, so the more, the merrier.” “But what of the rogues that work there? They will lose their jobs,” “And | hear Mountainview Hotel is looking for extra employees. We can help find them jobs. We can work it out,” Valen says.

“In a city where rogues can’t go past the two streets on either side of the main street unless it i s for the reserve, there are no jobs, Valen, no one will hire them,” Valen sighed and appeared t o think for a second before pushing his knee between my legs and shoving them apart.