Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 186 – 500-Year-Old Florida Couples Surprised Local by Holding Flash Wedding. "BED! SEX! NOW!" Said Grandma to Grandpa During the Ceremony.

A minute earlier

After ordering her men to detour around the mystic realm platform, Qiang Qiang followed her troops as a rearguard. While retreating, she stared at the floating island without blinking, making sure nothing escaped her sight.

Suddenly, a strong wind blew, and a speck of dust entered her eyes. She blinked once.

WHOOSH

Something vanished from her vision. She frowned and rechecked the platform.

'No one is there. Just statues.'

As the floating island was far away, she couldn't remember everything she had seen earlier. She didn't notice that there were three statues instead of two.

Unable to detect the anomaly, Qiang Qiang flew backward, following after her companions. As her back faced her subordinates, she didn't notice that an extra person was behind her.

After flying further away from the island, Qiang Qiang turned around.

WHOOSH

Again, the mysterious person vanished before she could even detect him.

Wing blew against her face again. Qiang Qiang disregarded it as natural wind as she was above the clouds, and she didn't notice a lurking shadowy figure behind her.

WIGGLE

The shadow stalked closer to Qiang Qiang every second.

"We're here, Lady Qiang!" One of the troops turned around and reported their arrival. Then, he noticed the shadow figure behind Qiang Qiang.

His eyes met with the shadow's eyes. The corners of the shadow's mouth curved up into a crescent moon as he struck the target. He extended his hands and groped Qiang Qiang from behind.

"!!!"

Qiang Qiang widened her eyes. She opened her mouth and was about to scream. That was when the shadow's left hand covered her mouth.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

The underling of Qiang Qiang shouted while he rushed to save his leader.

The shadow's expression turned solemn. His entire body transformed into a liquid and swallowed Qiang Qiang. When the woman was covered in black fluid, the shadow vanished into the clouds.

"CHASE!"

The men followed after the shadow into the clouds. All troops roared and summoned their dao avatars. 1,500 spirits manifested and transformed a 1500-man unit into a 3000-man unit.

But as soon as they entered the white clouds, they lost sight of the shadow. They accidentally descended lower the clouds and found no one.

None of them noticed the wiggling movements on the ground. Below the mutants was the Magpie City. Hiding in the shade of the city wall was the mass of black liquid.

Strange fluid entered Qiang Qiang's orifices and melted her clothes. It only took seconds before the cancerous cells of the shadow took over her entire body.

However, a quasi-immortal couldn't be killed that easily. After losing her body, Qiang Qiang's soul attempted to break free from the vessel. Her spirit ejected from her fleshly body.

She managed to get her head out of the black mass. But as soon as she came out, a rainbow humanoid spirit also emerged from the black liquid slime and hugged her from behind.

Qiang Qiang looked back and found the assailant's face. He was a handsome Caucasian man with a refined jawline and toned muscles. Like her, he was in his spiritual form, and they were both naked.

The unknown man grabbed her head and her shoulder. Without saying anything, he put her inside his spiritual physique.

"!!!"

Qiang Qiang extended her spiritual arm to escape from the mysterious rainbow guy. However, the sensation of tranquility, quietness, and numbness overwhelmed her. For an unknown reason, she felt at peace.

Her consciousness shut down. She fell asleep while her soul got stuck inside the unknown spirit's physique. Her age rapidly regressed until she was reduced to an embryo.

The rainbow man smiled and returned to the black liquid mass. When the Caucasian man's spirit disappeared, the water slime vanished.

The next moment, it reappeared on the mystic realm platform as the black-winged angel and the new woman statue. The rest was history.

.

.

Leading the unit in Qiang Qiang's stead was her fiancé, Dugu Ying.

Dugu Ying was a mutant like Qiang Baidu and Qiang Qiang, except he had a wide mouth full of fangs without lips. If he shaved his hair, he would look like Baraka from Mortal Kombat Series. Fortunately, he wore a ninja-like helmet and a face mask, covering his heinous face.

He was only a soul transformation mutant, but he killed many 8th-stage monsters and a 9th-stage monster before. In terms of strength, experience, and foundation, he was as strong as 10 quasi-immortals.

The sudden ambush angered Dugu Ying. He bellowed and gave his troops a new order.

"Search for that bastard! Kill everybody in the city and flush him out!"

The men shouted and charged toward the city below.

.

Magpie City was once the territory of Hua Jiashan and his Life Sword Sect. Although the sect merged with Leo's domain, cultivators and commoners still lived there as if the sect still existed.

This day was Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei's day off. They visited the sect to reminisce on old memories and cleaned the buildings.

The two elders laughed as they chatted about the naughty deeds they had done when they studied under Tang Tian and Tang Xuan. For hours, they never stopped talking until they arrived at a lone plum blossom tree in an elder's courtyard.

This place was where Hua Jiashan met Dongfang Mei for the first time. Looking at the pink tree, Hua Jiashan bitterly smiled. He confessed.

"You know, Mei."

"Yeah?"

"I always had a crush on you when I was young. I still do, actually."

"…Oh, my." Dongfang Mei giggled, "Have you finally mustered your courage after all these years?"

Her reaction wasn't within Hua Jiashan's expectations. His face reddened.

"Ahem! What do you mean by all these years?"

"Stupid old man. Your face and eyes gave it away. I always knew you had a feeling for me."

"!!!"

Dongfang Mei cheerfully laughed, "Why do you think I always rejected suitors? Dense fool, I was waiting for you, but you never opened up for me."

"W-Wait, what?!"

Hua Jiashan was so shocked that he knelt in front of Dongfang Mei's wheelchair.

"R-Really? All this time, you were waiting for me?!"

"Aiya. Think of my status. I had to break ties with my parents so that I could be with you. But you silly idiot suddenly went missing after the sweet dream mushroom incident! I thought you died, and I even mourned for you!"

Dongfang Mei smacked Hua Jiashan's head with her fist. The latter yelped and shed a tear of regret and joy.

The old woman's eyes were also moist. She leaned closer to Hua Jiashan and touched his cheeks.

"Old fool, when I heard that you were alive and succeeded the Sword Saint, I rushed here to see you. At the ascension ceremony when you succeeded the sect master title, I tried to talk to you, but you kept pushing me away. Do you know that I cried for days because I thought you had a new dao companion?"

"Err… I never marry though."

"Exactly! I was stupid, too. I thought you married Sword Saint's daughter, so I stopped thinking about you. And now… you confess to me."

"…"

The elders bitterly smiled and gazed into each other's eyes. Hua Jiashan stood up and embraced Dongfang Mei.

"I'm sorry, Mei. I kept you waiting."

"Umm."

"Marry me, Mei?"

A tear dropped from Dongfang Mei's eyes. She admired Hua Jiashan's wrinkled face and stroked his right ear. Then, she slightly nodded.

"I want seven kids."

"What the hell?!" Hua Jiashan was taken aback, "You sound like women at brothels!"

"FIVE FREAKING HUNDRED YEARS I'VE BEEN PROTECTING MY VIRGINITY FOR YOU! I DREAM OF BEARING YOUR CHILDREN AND HAVING A FAMILY WITH YOU! I WANT YOUR SEED! BED, SEX, NOW!"

"AAAAAH!!"

Dongfang Mei suddenly summoned her dao avatar. A giant spirit of a graceful woman emerged and dragged Hua Jiashan into a building. After throwing the old man into an empty room, the avatar merged with Dongfang Mei.

The old lady reverted into a charming young lady in her 20s. She strode while she moved her hips, seducing the old swordsman.

Hua Jiashan remembered Dongfang Mei in her prime. He dropped his jaw as his youthful instinct was resurrected.

"…You're as beautiful as ever."

"SHUT IT! OFF WITH YOUR PANTS! WE ARE WEDDING, RIGHT NOW!"

"AAAAAHHHH!!"

Although Hua Jiashan moaned, he didn't resist Dongfang Mei's approach. Instead, he smiled as he loved this sexually aggressive childhood friend with all his heart.

BOOM

Unfortunately, before they could seal the deal, an explosion erupted nearby.

Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei's faces turned dark. They frowned for a moment and looked at each other.

"Continue or go out?" Asked Hua Jiashan.

"Tsk. It's close. Let's go check it out."

"Alright."

"But remember, SEVEN KIDS!"

"…"

.

Both elders put back their clothes and rushed outside to see the commotion. As soon as they came out, they found the army of invaders. As the invaders emitted killing intent and Qi, Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei discovered their cultivation base.

"Soul transformation and soul formation cultivators?!" Dongfang Mei gasped.

"Those are not ordinary cultivators! They're demonic cultivators!" Hua Jiashan pointed out the four arms that they had.

Hua Jiashan summoned his dao avatar and merged with it. His age instantly regressed, and his appearance reverted to a long-haired handsome youth. His white robes and long sword glittered, emitting the white aura of a sword saint's disciple. As for Dongfang Mei, she already transformed.

Although both elders were cultivators who trained in a different martial art style, they pulled out rifles and sacred wood bullets from their spatial rings. Their nimble hands loaded a bullet into the rifle's chamber and closed the breech. They took aim in unison.

Their targets were two soul transformation cultivators. Their fingers injected Qi into the shell and pulled the trigger.

BANG

BANG

A loud gunshot mixed with the sound of an explosion nearby. Two flashing yellow needles shuttled through the sky and pierced the two soul-transformation mutants from below. One bullet blasted out the innards of a mutant while the other entered through another mutant's crotch and exited through his head.

The couple elders didn't bother admiring the result. They reloaded another ammo and aimed at other mutants.

BANG

BANG

One shot, one down. Two shots claimed two additional lives.

.

Dugu Ying swept his eyes across the Magpie City. He ordered his men to bombard it to the ground.

Mutants unleashed their skills. Fireballs appeared in the sky and descended upon the town. The first target was the structures of the Life Sword Sect, where Dugu Ying suspected that the assailant might be in hiding.

BOOM

A disciple dorm exploded. However, nobody reacted.

Dugu Ying narrowed his eyes. He made a new order.

"I want ten platoons to attack the sect. As for the rest, kill every commoner and townsman!"

A thousand men rushed toward the Life Sword Sect while the other 500 flew toward the city, where the commoner lived.

But as soon as Dugu Ying commanded his men, changes occurred in the city. Two cultivators flew out and carried their trademark weapons.

Tang Xuan and Tang Tian appeared. Below them, the people of Tang Clan erected a dome shield to protect the townsmen.

Tang Xuan, as a quasi-immortal, was never afraid of soul transformation mutants. He shouted while he summoned his dao avatar.

Purple fog emerged, enveloping the entire Magpie City. Some of it also transformed into a purple mist dragon, baring fangs at the intruders.

Tang Tian brandished two of his purple swords. Behind him, five hundred clones of himself manifested from the purple fog that his father created, holding similar weapons.

The two Tangs glared at the intruders and shouted at them.

"WHO DARES HARM THE COMMONER OF MAGPIE CITY?!"

Dugu Ying flinched as he noticed the aura of Tang Xuan. But as he realized that Tang Xuan was the only quasi-immortal there, he believed he still had a chance to kill him.

The mutant bellowed back.

"BOOTLICKERS OF YAN EMPIRE, RETURN MY WIFE OR DIE HERE!"

"IMPUDENCE!" Tang Xuan snorted and charged toward Dugu Ying.

Dugu Ying sneered. He flew backward and pushed his four arms forward.

BANG

BANG

Suddenly, two gunshots echoed, followed by two yellowish flashes of something small shuttling through the sky. Then, two of Dugu Ying fell.

"What?!"

Because of the distraction, Dugu Ying looked away from Tang Xuan.

Tang Xuan smirked, "Pay attention, brat!"

BOOM

Tang Xuan instantly teleported and appeared behind Dugu Ying. A purple fist found the latter's spine.

CRACK