Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

296 Florida Man Arrested for Joyriding Coffin Through Car Factory

Chapter 296 – Florida Man Arrested for Joyriding Coffin Through Car Factory

After Leo had returned home, the dragon dreadnaught mothership revealed its appearance near the location where Leo had been.

Aslan who was inside the mothership's main bridge faintly grinned, feeling proud of himself.

'You still have a lot to learn, my boy. If you can be tricked with simple back-and-forth teleportation, you can't possibly catch top karmic sovereigns in this universe like Overlord Kishin or those player hunters.'

He had so many things he wanted to teach Leo. However, it was not the right time. Aslan deeply sighed and inclined on his armchair, recalling the faces of the Fate Stadium's mastermind.

Thinking of the person, Aslan's expression turned solemn.

'Leo isn't ready for a karmic fate crystal yet. His foundation is lacking even though he can use the simulation mode. He needs more time to refine his soul and dantian universe. Even if he spends a year or two training in the simulation mode, I doubt he can catch up to those guys.'

Aslan was aware of the player hunter squadron's existence. He had met them before as Meowmeow and Leo had suspected.

The encounter wasn't pleasant. Thinking of the men, Aslan's blood boiled. He suppressed his anger and attempted to calculate the situation logically.

'Those player hunters can easily disable every system and negate system skills. Leo has integrated some of the system skills, daos, and abilities into his own, but he hasn't mastered everything yet. If they suddenly take Leo's system power away, he won't be weakened. But that domain and his system buildings will disappear, including the lifespan that he stole…'

Aslan smacked his lips. Although he wasn't sure if the player hunters could erase Leo's hard-earned lifespan that he had accumulated, he didn't want to take risks.

He deeply sighed and closed his eyes. He decided to intervene.

'I need to visit that distasteful man again. But first, I should tell Simba and Ester about this.'

Aslan sank his consciousness to his dantian universe.

.

.

A month quickly passed by.

In the middle of the night inside the presidential suite room, Leo relaxed in the middle of the bed. Cuddling next to him was Esen who slept soundly.

Leo stroked Esen's hair and smiled. The past month's marriage life had been fulfilling.

The relationship between Leo and Esen improved. She was no longer shy at night. Moreover, she often initiated or proposed a dual cultivation session with Leo.

Every time Leo dual-cultivated with Esen, her cultivation base increased. In addition, her clone's strength in Leo's simulation mode improved. Because of such boons, Esen was always by his side during daytime and nighttime.

Looking at Esen's sexy body, ample chest, sexy hips, firm perky cake, and flawless smooth skin, Leo chuckled. He thought of the day when they first met.

"You were so skinny back then. If anyone could time-travel and told me that I would marry you, that me in the past would have laughed his ass out. Who would have thought that the loli corpse would turn into a gorgeous bombshell of an elf?"

Suddenly, a cough could be heard in the room. The voice of Ivy interrupted Leo's thought.

"Your Majesty. Her Majesty has become what she is today because of your hard work and care. Without your grooming… I mean, your love, she would have stuck being a living corpse. Look at her now. She's now a happy woman."

Leo smacked his lips. This was not the first time that Ivy snuck into their room, so he was used to it. Furthermore, this woman sometimes entered the room while both Leo and Esen were in the middle of a night activity. Although Ivy never intervened or interrupted them, she always gave him the creep.

"Yo, peeping tom. Can you mind our privacy? You know, I want to be with my wife alone sometimes."

Ivy smiled and refused, "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. Her Majesty is pregnant. I understand that you are mindful of your privacy, but you can be sometimes crude and rough in bed. It is my duty to be vigilant of her health and her actions until the delivery."

"…"

Leo didn't know what to say to this archlich.

That wedding night, Leo did it without protection. Because of the white tree god's blessings, Esen was pregnant. At first, Leo thought of it as a joke. But when Esen told Leo that her egg was fertilized, Leo realized the gravity of the situation.

"Fine, you perv. Even if you want to join us, I won't take you as a concubine."

"Don't worry, Your Majesty. I have a boyfriend."

"Oh!" Leo laughed. "I didn't know a lich like you have a sugar daddy. Who is the unfortunate guy?"

Ivy widely grinned, "He's a handsome little boy."

Leo was taken aback, "WTF?! Are you grooming a minor?!"

"He's more of an innocent grandpa in a child-like physique, similar to your partner, Your Majesty. If you call me a groomer, you're no different than me. You groomed a loli. I groomed a shota."

"No, listen here, you predator bitch," Leo was dumbfounded, but he wanted to win the argument. "I never did anything to her when she was in the child-like body or when she was still a walking corpse. We started getting more intimated when Esen has an adult-like body."

"Hahaha! Your Majesty, everybody knows that it's an excuse. Don't worry about it. We don't blame you for your fetish or your kinks. As long as you love our queen, we don't mind."

"But I DO MIND, damn you! I ain't a pedophile, and I don't groom minors! Don't randomly accuse me!"

"Haha, my apologies, Your Majesty. Well, please resume whatever you're doing. Don't mind my presence here. Go ahead, continue."

"…"

Leo rolled his eyes and shook his head. He gave up on Ivy.

As a month passed, Leo prepared for another journey to the Fate Stadium. He opened the PVP system screen while he put on his clothes.

After putting on his casual t-shirt and jeans, Leo reminded Ivy.

"I'll be visiting another planet for business. Tell Esen that I'll be away for several days."

Ivy raised her eyebrows, "How many days exactly, Your Majesty?"

"Probably more than a week. If I'm lucky, I might return within a day."

"Is it a dangerous trip? Do you want me to inform the other guardians to tag along with you?"

"Nah. I'll be fine. Be careful about invaders, though. Tell Meowmeow, Kitten, and Lucky that I want them to patrol the star system. If they detect any uninvited visitor from other galaxies or dimensions, kill them on sight."

Ivy's expression turned solemn. She bowed 90 degrees, "I understand. Please have a safe trip."

"Ah."

Leo deeply inhaled and gazed at the real-time PVP screen.

.

You Are Wanted by Fate Stadium Authority!

A warrant has been issued. You have been charged with robbery, and you are expected to surrender to the authority within a month. Failure to do so will result in system cancelation – Your system perks, such as the Inventory System, Online Shopping System, and Domain System will be terminated. All items and perks acquired by the systems shall be erased. Furthermore, a task force from the Fate Stadium will be deployed to arrest you.

In case you surrender to the authority, you may keep the systems and the perks. However, you will be prosecuted according to the Fate Stadium's Laws.

Current Warrant and Charge: Robbery

Surrender Grace Period: 25 Minutes

.

The red warning screen overlapped with the PVP screen. In addition, the [Surrender] button was highlighted.

As Leo hated misunderstanding and corrupted political systems, he decided to confront the Fate Stadium's officials to clear things up. He pressed the surrender button.

As soon as Leo pressed it, he vanished from the presidential suite room.

.

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DING

<You have submitted to Fate Stadium Authority!>

<Thank you for cooperating. We shall take your action into account.>

Leo opened his eyes and found himself inside a transparent coffin. The 50x50cm square glass plate under his feet was enough for Leo to stand on, but the 2-meter-high ceiling and the glass wall were claustrophobic inducing.

He looked around and saw other glass coffins. Fortunately, the coffin allowed him to stand on his feet, so he could observe everything. Around his glass container, many coffins of a different size contained a hundred humanoid creatures inside.

A factory belt gradually moved Leo's coffin forward until it reached a pushing machine. Leo's coffin was stopped in front of the pusher, but the machine allowed it to go further.

After the first stop came another pushing machine. Again, the belt carried Leo's coffin deeper, but many other coffins of a bigger size were removed from the factory belt.

30 minutes later, Leo's coffin was the only one on the factory belt. It reached a platform at the end of the line.

CLANK

The coffin fell on the platform, forcing Leo to lie down. He grumbled and remained prone, gazing at the destination.

The platform was illuminated by white light, causing the coffin to float. It slowly moved upward into the void.

Finally, Leo looked up and found himself and the glass coffin in the void, floating toward a weird palace situated on a thick white cloud. The coffin landed on the clouds and was stopped by a golden gate.

In front of the golden gate was a giant human with a halo and white angelic wings. He carried a golden harpoon in his left hand and a giant thick grimoire in his left hand. His flat silver hair, flat face, square facial outline, cube-like body, and square limbs made him look like a character from 8-bit games.

The Minecraft angel gazed at Leo. He uttered in a deep and loud noise.

"Criminal Florida Man! You have been charged with robbery! Will you pledge yourself guilty?!"

Leo smacked his lips and muttered, "Please elaborate before you declare your verdict, sir judge. I don't even know what I stole."

The angel snorted, "You stole FOOD from the Fate Stadium! Do you want me to show you the evidence? Once I show you the evidence, your sentence will be doubled!"

"I'd rather see the proof, sir. I don't like being falsely accused. Besides, if I really stole something, I can reimburse the Fate Stadium with something of an equal value."

"SILENCE!"

"…"

Leo narrowed his eyes as he didn't like the barbaric jurisdiction system of this Minecraft-like angel, but he remained quiet.

The angel flickered his fingers, and a floating monitor appeared. It showed the event when Leo picked up a bottle of whiskey from the Fate Stadium and vanished.