Headed by a Snake

Decanus Justus, Hero of Leopardon, was lying on his side. The cold, hard night-time dirt was a stark contrast to his tears, burning hotly from his eyes.

He shut his eyes hard, trying to force them to stop.

He didn't want to cry anymore.

Rena clicked her tongue, wagging her finger.

"Anyroad, just lie there quietly, and I'll explain to you why it's impossible for the great and wonderful Rena to be jealous of my Gianna."

The archer sat down on Justus' side.

Justus didn't care. He clutched at his groin with both hands, praying for the pain to end.

Then he'd kill her.

...Or maybe he'd punch her.

...No. Nevermind. Justus decided he wouldn't mention Rena's masculine chest while he was in ball-busting range of the ruthless woman, ever again.

"First off..." Rena listed, "You and my Gianna are a perfect couple."

That made Justus feel a little better-- but not really.

"Second off, Zehr doesn't like Gianna like that."

That didn't make Justus feel better at all. Gianna was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen-- while Rena was just... 'meh.' He honestly couldn't imagine Zehr rejecting Gia's feelings if she did, in fact, approach him intending to confess. It was one of his greatest worries.

"And third--" Rena continued. "Zehr is already my husband."

"S-since when were you... wed?" Justus managed to groan.

"Future husband! Whatever." Rena hmphed, "I already called it. You were there."

The pain began to fade, though Justus still felt a deep discomfort, deep below his gut.

Shoving his childhood friend off of him, he clumsily crawled over to peek aside their hiding-bush, "Wh-... egh... what are they talking about now?"

And why was Zehr's nose bleeding?

Rena shook Justus, "By the Flame, by the Flaaaaaame, Zehr's talking about me! H-he called me a princess!!"

Justus' brain rattled around in his skull from Rena's violent shaking, "Okay, okay. Stop. Please stop-- I really don't think I deserve any of this."

"Ohhhhh, I'm so happy I could kiss you-- but I won't. I'll never cheat on my husband, as long as I live!" Rena squealed.

"Rena!" Zehr's voice, calling out crisply in the night air made the archer abruptly halt her movements. She looked as stupid as she sounded.

"Busted," Justus smirked. "It's because you were being too loud, you pumpkin."

"Decanus Juuuustus~♥"

Gianna's cutely upraised voice froze the blood in Justus' veins. Goosebumps prickled the skin on his arms. Sweat began to pour down his brow... He should have never agreed to skulk about with Rena, spying on Gianna and Zehr.

Rena skipped out from their hiding spot, happily, dragging Justus along the dirt by one of his arms. Where she hid her strength in that tiny frame, Justus had no idea.

"I knew they'd be together. Aren't they the cutest couple?" Gianna beamed.

Justus got to his feet, "H-hey... Wh-what were you guys talking about?"

"Oh, you know~" Gianna tapped her chin, "Just the state of affairs of our Rhodok guild."

Justus noticed that Zehr had opened his mouth to speak, but held his words as Gia explained. Weird.

Neither of them seemed particularly happy or depressed... Justus wondered if he'd thought wrongly and Gianna didn't confess to Zehr? ...Or maybe the Duplicarius... rejected her?

Justus rubbed the back of his head, "Uh... I can explain why *we're* here?"

Like an affection cat, Rena leapt at Zehr, embracing him tightly, "Zehhhhr, I LOVE yooou!!"

The Duplicarius stood still, holding his palms outward as Rena hugged him. His golden eyes were opened wide in confusion. He looked to Justus, tacitly pleading for help with his expression.

Justus keenly remembered the pain in his groin and averted his gaze.

'I'm sorry, Duplicarius Zehr.' He apologized in his heart, 'I can't help you this time, brother.'

Zehr awkwardly patted Rena's back, "Y... yes. I... appreciate your... affection? I quite pride myself on my cooking ability."

Justus pursed his lips. It seemed there had been a misunderstanding. But did the lovestruck blockhead notice that?

Rena released her embrace, but took hold of Zehr's arm, snuggling against it, "I mean-- I mean... I'm so glad you're safe!"

Rena had admitted as much several times, during their evening meal. Justus was getting tired of hearing it. The entire cohort was probably tired of hearing it.

"Um... Yes. I am also glad I am safe," Zehr scratched his cheek. He didn't shake Rena off of his arm, though.

Justus placed his hand on Zehr's shoulder, "Guard what is important to you, Brother-Zehr. You'll thank me later."

"I'll... thank you now, if that's appropriate." Zehr's eyes were mired in uncertainty, "It's... good advice, if somewhat foreboding."

Zehr gently pat Rena's arm, signaling for her to release him, "I'd like the three of you to come with me. There's a place I'd like to investigate-- and perhaps we may find some enemies worthy of the Hero of Leopardon."

Justus grinned. Zehr had returned to being the cool and calm Decanus that he knew, "Of course. My sword is yours to command, Zehr."

...

Rena had taken her handkerchief to clean the blood from Duplicarius Zehr's nostrils, "Ohhh, I'm wearing new earrings! They're pearl-- reeeeal pearl. They cost a fortune!"

"Um, yes. They look... uh... cute?" Zehr responded.

Justus sighed. Rena had gotten into one of her babbling fits-- this time, showing off her fineries to someone who clearly didn't care.

He, himself, was rather distracted. He felt awkward, walking next to Gia.

Dozens of questions flitted through his rattled brain. He did catch the tail end of their conversation... and Zehr was talking about the person he liked. What started that? How did Gianna feel about Zehr? ...How did she feel about him?

He cursed himself inwardly. He hadn't told Gianna about his own feelings... Was it too late? At first, he was just a fish. Then, he earned a promotion to Decanus-- and maybe he'd become a Tesserarius soon. That kind of salary would definitely be enough to afford a wedding... maybe support a family, if Gianna wanted to retire.

He felt his cheeks warming at the thought. A family with Gianna... their kids would be beautiful if they took after her more than him. Children of a Shield Maiden and a Holy Swordsman would definitely grow up to be strong, too.

"What are you thinking about, Decanus Justus?" She asked.

Justus nearly leapt out of his armor, seeing Gianna's face so close.

"I-I ah... what? Hey. Hi. Gia? What's up?" He stammered.

"Five points," Gianna winked.

"Um. What?"

"No, nevermind." She sighed and looked away.

Justus felt the temperature rise in his cheeks again at the seemingly mundane action. Everything the Shield Maiden did, captured his heart.

He needed to get her attention... With his heart beating louder than a war drum, he took hold of her hand, "Tell me... Gia."

The Shield Maiden turned back with a look of pleasant surprise. She hesitated... "To be honest, Justus... I'm a little envious of Rena."

Gia chuckled to herself. She looked and sounded like she'd just lost something important to her, "I've been thinking like that often."

Justus took a deep breath and gathered his courage. He squeezed her tiny hand and met her gaze, "You have nothing to be envious about. You're the strongest, bravest, and most beautiful woman I've ever met."

Shield Maiden Gianna's eyes widened, but finally, her sad look was replaced again by her radiant smile. Averting her gaze downward, the woman twirled a strand of her blonde hair in her fingers, "Ten points, Decanus."