Hellbound Heart

That outburst was so shocking even to Elle herself that she was taken aback. She was breathless, a crying mess as she tightened her own grip on herself. She had done it. She had opened up and unbottled all the grievances that she had been keeping within herself from the many days of being confined and also left alone.

But it had made her feel better. Giving lease to all those words were like pouring out the pent-up emotions that were wreaking havoc within her. The suffocating heaviness in her chest had tremendously lightened up. It felt like the calm after the storm, clean and refreshing.

But suddenly, a new emotion came at her like a tidal wave. Debilitating fear. The fear that he would… he might just end everything between them right here and now, had her body shaking once again.

She had done this before. Speaking up due to pent-up rage and hurt. And for all those times, they had never ended well, at least for her. Usually what comes next was she receiving a beating. Most of the times, the strikes come so swiftly even before she could finish the words that she was going to say.

Her shoulders shook even more visibly as she became aware at how still and silent he was being. He did not seem to even make a move. She could not see his expression as her face was still buried on her own knees. Lord… please… she might really break if that happens. What should she do? Her outburst should not be too much, right? She did not anger him even more, right? She did not make everything worsen, right?

With her heart beating so hard and her body, trembling a little, she forced herself to slowly lift her face.

Before Elle could even focus her gaze on his face, she saw him lifting his hand.

And she literally scrambled away until her back hit the edge of the tub. Her hands were already up, in a defensive stance, covering her head from an anticipated hit. It all happened within a blink of an eye. Her body had just moved reflexively before she could even realize what she had done.

Sebastian's eyes were wide as he looked down at her cowering form. She was shaking so badly that he thought, anymore, and her teeth would fall out. Shock and many more intense emotions filled his eyes like a flood. His hand was still in mid-air, frozen.

Silence reigned as the tub's water that had splashed around wildly because of Elle's sudden retreat backwards slowly calmed and stabilized.

He slowly retracted his hand and clenched it so hard. F**k it all... He wanted to scream his lungs out. He wanted to hit the walls again and again until all he could see was red. Until everything crumbled beneath his fists into dust.

But if he did that… this woman… his wife… she was going to be terrified to the point of no return. Not that she was not already with that reaction and those trembling limbs of hers. He felt like he was going to go mad. Everything about this woman was just designed purely to drive him mad. And the funniest thing was that – here he was, still stuck next to her, still outwardly sane, outwardly calm. Just because he was afraid to terrify her even more.

"Did you… you really think that I would truly hit you?" he asked in a controlled low voice, even though it was already clear with that action of hers. But to her, it sounded as though his voice was tight in suppressed anger that she shivered even more and curled into herself a little tighter.

It was impossibly hard for Sebastian to accept that Izabelle – his wife – was reacting this severely towards him. He knew that he had been angry, but he had never given her reason to think that he was one who would resort to wife battery! Even though he had never cared less if anyone was fearful towards him, why was it so different when it comes to her? Why was it so unbearable when it was her who was cowering in fear of him?

And it was even more unbearable for him to see her frightened to this state. A thought crossed his mind. What must she have endured, to be able to respond automatically like this when faced with another person's direct anger?

He forced himself to stand and turned around. He did not know what he should do in this situation. He was afraid that everything he will do at this point would only drive her further to the edge. And he did not want to make an already bad situation even worse.

Dropping his head tiredly, he stared at his hand and an ironic half smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Of course… what was he expecting? How could he expect her not be scared of a monster like himself? Even he himself knew what kind of a terrible monster he was. What more was he expecting from her?

Just as he decided and was about to move away from her, a small cold hand suddenly shot out and grabbed his. That contact caused him to whirl around, surprised that it even happened.

She was looking up at him with her tear-stained face, her large blue eyes… f**k it was so tragically beautiful, his throat tightened at the sight of it.

"I'm sorry…" she said. "I… my body just… it just moved like that… my father used to… beat me if I talk back to him. So… I think I'm just… I was just… it's something that… I can't –" her explanation came out all broken and stuttering.

"You're saying that you're not terrified of me?" he cut her off. His voice so calm. "You don't think I'll hit you right now?"

Elle shook her head immediately with no hesitation. "You're… scary… but I know you'll never hit me."

Silence reigned for a moment. "… Really?"

The moment she nodded, he pulled her up from the tub and in one swift move, she was pressed into him, molded into his body as he held her close.