House Dad's Literary Life

Chapter 355: A Cry of Despair

Yang Yi opened the guitar case and took out Lin Mu’an’s guitar. He didn’t get Lin Mu’an’s permission, but Lin Mu’an was sitting next to him and didn’t say anything.

The guitar wasn’t bad. Yang Yi plucked the strings and the sound quality was still very good. Of course, compared to the one left by Grandpa Hu Songnan to Yang Yi, it was still a lot worse, but for Lin Mu’an, it should be the most expensive thing on him, right?

“Big Brother Yang, are you going to sing?” Guo Ziyi said enthusiastically.

“Well, I suddenly remembered a Cantonese song, I’ll sing it to you!” Yang Yi smiled, his hands had already started playing the prelude. In the closed car compartment, although it was lightly played, the sound was exceptionally clear and loud.

Cantonese song? Lin Mu’an looked at Yang Yi in surprise. He had thought that when Yang Yi spoke of the conflict between dreams and bread, he was trying to persuade him to face reality and give up his insistence on Cantonese songs.

The prelude was slow and didn’t have a stunning feeling at first listen.

“Today I watch the snow drifting in the cold night…” As soon as Yang Yi opened his mouth, Lin Mu’an was surprised. This Cantonese accent was no worse than his own who was born and raised in Guangdong!

Could it be that the boss is from Guangdong?

It doesn’t look like it!

“With a cooled heart drifting far away in the wind and rain, chasing in the fog can’t distinguish the shadow… The sky is wide and you and I may change…”

Yang Yi’s voice was somewhat vicissitudinous, but not hoarse. Instead, it gave people a rich and clear feeling of emotions, very pleasant to listen to. It was even better than Lin Mu’an’s voice, which made Lin Mu’an feel a bit ashamed.

However, compared to Yang Yi’s voice, Lin Mu’an paid more attention to the meaning expressed by the lyrics.

He probably hadn’t heard this song before, as it didn’t have a single impression in his memory.

But after singing three or four sentences, Lin Mu’an was deeply moved. Although he was driving carefully and cautiously, he already had a vague feeling that the song the boss was singing was about his current situation.

Isn’t it?

Although there was no snow drifting tonight, the cold night wind felt like icy rain against his face, freezing his heart. If it weren’t for Yang Yi’s appearance, his heart might have really grown cold!

“How many times have I faced cold eyes and ridicule without ever giving up my ideals in my heart. In an instant, a feeling of having lost something, unknowingly, my love has faded in my heart…”

Yang Yi slowly hummed, and the rising and falling melody was like a winding snake gradually wrapping around Lin Mu’an’s heart. The helplessness reflected in the lyrics made Lin Mu’an feel somewhat suffocated.

At the bar, he sang Cantonese songs diligently. Although it was because of the boss’s request, were there fewer cold eyes and ridicule?

Indeed, he had never given up, but how many times had he doubted himself, feeling lost at times…

“Forgive me for being unrestrained and indulging in freedom in this life, and my fear of stumbling one day…”

Lin Mu’an stared intently at the road ahead. Although the traffic on the way back to the university city had gradually become sparse, he still had to drive carefully and not be affected by the waves in his heart.

“I’m still free to sing my song forever… Forgive me for being unrestrained and indulging in freedom in this life… and my fear of stumbling one day… oh~no… Abandoning ideals is something anyone can do, but I won’t be afraid even if one day it’s just you and me…”

This lyric really touched Lin Mu’an’s heart. He could only bite his lower lip and hold back the tears that were almost rolling out of his eyes.

He really wanted to, just like in the song, keep singing his favorite Cantonese songs and keep going…

No, he couldn’t forget his dream even if he fell ten thousand times.

Lin Mu’an felt like his blood had been ignited by this song!

Similarly ignited with passion was Guo Ziyi. He understood Cantonese and was also a young dreamer. How could he not be equally moved by it? However, he encountered much fewer setbacks than Lin Mu’an, so his emotional intensity wasn’t as high.

“What does Big Brother Yang’s song mean? It sounds pretty good!” The only one who couldn’t understand was Ding Xiang. She couldn’t help but mutter to Guo Ziyi in a low voice, keeping her voice very low, so as not to disturb Yang Yi.

“It is really good! I guess it’s a new song written by Big Brother Yang, which is about ideals and perseverance. I don’t know if it’s improvised, but the lyrics are too fitting for Lin Mu’an’s current situation!” Guo Ziyi couldn’t help but sigh for Yang Yi, “Big Brother Yang is still Big Brother Yang. He can write rock songs and write them so well! I tell you, I just saw Lin Mu’an wiping his tears secretly.”

“That amazing?” Ding Xiang was impressed without fully understanding.

Actually, what Guo Ziyi said was not accurate. The reason why this song touched people’s hearts was not because its theme was ideals and perseverance, but the struggle reflected in the lyrics!

Just like “Forgive me for being unrestrained and indulging in freedom in this life, and my fear of stumbling one day,” the first sentence was determined and unrestrained, showing a positive and forward-looking momentum, but the next sentence was a sharp turn, as if returning to reality, filled with fear.

The lyrics were written so realistically, perfectly depicting Lin Mu’an’s repeated self-encouragement and self-denial.

This was what touched Lin Mu’an the most…

“Still free and unrestrained… forever singing my song… traveling thousands of miles…” In Yang Yi’s previous life, these lyrics were hailed as a cry from within hell.

Why is it from hell?

Because the song was a cry of despair from Wong Ka Kui, who had his creative freedom stripped away, and his own arrangements were being altered beyond recognition, and he was under long-term pressure and self-doubt. In his most desperate times, he expressed his longing for freedom!

How similar was this to Lin Mu’an’s current situation? Lin Mu’an also didn’t want to change his insistence on Cantonese songs for the commercial interests pursued by the record company. But he was also oppressed by material and reality. In confusion, he needed a force to let him shout out his inner voice.

Perhaps this way, he could be more determined on his musical journey…

“Abandoning ideals is something anyone can do, but I won’t be afraid even if one day it’s just you and me…” Yang Yi finished singing this song and remained silent, his fingers resting on the strings, letting the car’s interior fall into silence.

Guo Ziyi also remained silent. He knew that Lin Mu’an needed time to think for himself.

After a while, the car slowly drove into University City and was closer to Jiangcheng Media University.

“Boss, shall I take you back to the coffee shop?” Lin Mu’an asked softly.

Yang Yi looked up at him and asked, “Where do you live?”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Actually, it’s in the teacher’s apartment of Jiangcheng Media. My girlfriend has a dormitory assigned to her. It’s not too far away. After I drop you off, I can walk back by myself.” Lin Mu’an quickly said.

Actually, it was quite embarrassing to say that such a big man still lives with his girlfriend.

“Let’s go to the teacher’s apartment then. My younger sister also lives there, and I can pick up my daughter while we’re at it,” Yang Yi smiled slightly.

“Okay.” Lin Mu’an nodded.

The car fell silent once again.

“Lin Mu’an, what are your plans for the future?” Guo Ziyi couldn’t help but ask.

“Well… I haven’t thought about it yet… I think I should go find another bar to sing at first, then like you said, go participate in some competitions…” Lin Mu’an still wanted to persist.

“Why don’t you come to my coffee shop! Anyway, singing at a bar or in my coffee shop is all the same, and in the future, you can take charge of the piano in the shop. However, you can’t just sing Cantonese songs!” Yang Yi suddenly said.

Supporting and promoting Cantonese songs is a good ideal. But singing only Cantonese songs is a problem that needs to be corrected.

“Ah? Boss, isn’t your shop not short of pianists?” Lin Mu’an asked in surprise and joy.

“Hehe, there was no shortage before, but now there is.” Yang Yi smiled slightly.