MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

"I nominate Jack'O as a hero candidate!"

Before Jack could protest, Leaf was already glowing in a myriad of colors, her hands joined in prayer.

[You've Been Chosen as a Hero Candidate!]

[Optional Quest: Elven Trials!]

[Accept? Y/N ?]

Oh god! Why had she done this?!

One had to know that this hero nomination was a HUGE deal. Oh, and failing it was terrifying for both the contestant and the sponsor.

As for refusing? It was the same as giving up!

He observed his elven companion. She didn't show any fear, only hope and a gentle smile, ready to sacrifice herself to give him the slightest chance at survival.

This was the most touching and unnecessary sacrifice ever.

Should he walk away? He totally could! But as he saw her giving him a thumb up by the side, he couldn't help but give a wry smile. Tch— He'd at least give it a try.

"Trials? Fine, bring it on!" He powerfully declared.

*Elves laughing at a foolish human*

But really, who was the fool here…

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Word spread across the settlement like an atomic cloud.

Random elves appeared out of nowhere, wanting to gaze upon the man who had driven someone of elven royal blood to "insanity".

Jack stood before a regal-looking hole in an ancient tree. The details on the entrance frame would have wowed any sculptor ever: plants, animals, elves, all seemingly dancing joyfully.

— Eternal Labyrinth! —

Jack glanced at it with desire. This Trial was connected to the Elven HQ, right?! If only he could steal such power, he'd be able to create teleporters! A shame, it wouldn't be so easy…

"Go on, human. This is the first Trial, one so simple every elven child has cleared it. Reach the other end to succeed. Simple enough, right?"

"It sure does! Alright, see you on the other side."

Jack entered the dark tree trunk, disappearing instantly. As soon as he did, a magical screen showed the inside of the Trial, the elves already laughing.

"Pfft— What an idiot!"

"He'll survive a few minutes at best!"

"No way! He'll survive a while…forever trapped in the first illusion formation, haha!"

Jack didn't take long to reach said illusion formation, the first obstacle. It was so high level that he couldn't even guess the caster's proficiency! No, it was even worse…

This was a god's Trial, right?!

One had to know there were two types of God Trials:

1. Evil God —> You would suffer from their cruelty

2. Benevolent God —> You would suffer from their friendliness.

Sometimes a painful quick death was preferable to an eternity of nonsensical riddles, puzzles, and weird tests. Right now was clearly the second option.

Jack found himself in a small sunny clearing with lush vegetation, a small hut, and a tiny well to quench his thirst.

Friendly animals crowded around. Rabbits, birds, deers, sheeps, and more! He looked like a freaking reclusive Fairy Tale Princess!

He explored it all, not finding anything of interest. This place seemed like a freaking prison! As for the animals, was he supposed to kill them to state his hunger or spare them?

Was this the test? Show his virtue through enduring mortal desires? Unsure, he hadn't killed any yet, biding his time. Then again, what if this whole thing was timed?!

He tried everything he could think of…

- Showed his benevolence by gifting animals straw hats

- Showed his piety by erecting a cool YGG statue

- Showed his resilience by enduring the hunger

- Showed his loving side by petting the animals

- ….

Nothing ever worked. To him, it seemed as if weeks had gone by, yet barely a day had passed in the real world. The elves were still chuckling at his pathetic display.

"Hehe, he's worse than a child!"

"Of course! All humans are like that!"

"How long until the passage of time turns him insane?"

They all discussed the man's fate, not showing an ounce of compassion. Then they'd scoff at Leaf, who even now still believed in him…

Jack had tried, but he really couldn't take it anymore. 'Benevolent God, my Ass!' he kept complaining inwardly. Then at some point, he simply stopped caring.

He stood under the bright blue sky, shouting at it like a madman. "What the heck am I supposed to do here?! C'mon, answer me, YGG, goddammit!"

He was just venting, and yet a golden screen appeared before him.

— Welcome to the Labyrinth! —

1. Are you ready to learn?

2. Follow all the directives

3. Call YGG if you need help

4. More importantly, have fun! ^_^

"…."

At this moment, even Jack was speechless.

WHAT THE HELL?! Learn? Directives? Have fun?!

Outside they had bragged about every child completing this. Was this only a simple learning game?!

In front of him were now instructions in elvish explaining how to get out of this insanely peaceful world. It went from petting a rabbit to jumping at random spots.

Point was….this test was bullshit! Testing one's value? Nope! All it tested was one's literacy in elvish, nothing else! Then again, it would be impossible for regular humans to succeed.

He felt like venting, like screaming at this BS god for making a fool out of him. Why hadn't it shown the instructions from day one? Then again, the elves also slighted him...

They had been crowding outside. What if they had a way to see what happened inside? Probably, right? If that was the case, he'd give them a show they would never forget…

"How can one be so lucky?!" Tons of elves exclaimed at once.

The human had obviously been stumped, stuck in the illusion realm. He had even started losing his mind, rolling on the floor and moving erratically.

But just as they were making fun of his pathetic display, the fool had somehow inadvertently completed the requirements to exit!

An enormous golden portal appeared before the human. He kept gawking at it, overwhelmed by shock. "A portal?!" It was 100% evident that he had activated it by mistake!

They wanted to call foul, but he had completed that part. Still, they calmed down when they remembered all the other dangers awaiting him.

Soon he came to an intersection, one that offered 27 pathway options. Such a choice would stump anyone but Jack.

He heroically….grabbed a coin, entrusting his fate to it.

"Head, I'll go in. Tail, I won't!" He confidently declared: the most stupid way to go about clearing this.

The elves laughed their asses off. The thing was, all those pathways were traps. Yes, the actual path lay in a secret passage by the side, protected by an illusion.

"Hehe, without the Elven Wisdom, he's doomed!" One remarked, the others all nodding in agreement.

One had to know that these NPC were utterly convinced that one HAD to be an elf to receive their god's message. Never did it cross their mind that he was seeing it too.

On the screen, Jack quickly found the "correct" pathway. He entered the wrong one with the confidence of an emperor.

But just as he took a few steps, he suddenly dropped his coin. It bounced a few times, quickly rolling away.

"Come back here!" He jumped to catch it.

While trying to retrieve it, he just happened to collide with the wall that hid the secret passage, going straight through it. — Whoosh! —

"Ah?! Is this a shortcut or something? Nice!" He barely took the time to observe his surroundings, happily heading inside.

The elves couldn't believe their eyes.

"WHAT?! This is cheating! He clearly chose the wrong path!" The elves cried out, outraged.

"The wrong path? It seemed to me like he went the correct one. Are you all perhaps turning blind with age? How concerning!" Crystal Leaf replied with a beautiful smile.

They could only grind their teeth as they all kept watching. Sadly for them, Jack was far from done…

— Welcome to the dart path! —

An impossibly deadly corridor stood before him. In the sidewalls, countless holes would spew infinite darts. Even a legendary acrobat would turn pale at seeing it.

The shooting patterns were continuously changing, and the darts were so fast that one had to move out of the way in advance.

"Damn, that will be hard!" Jack exclaimed loudly.

There was actually a trick to this: this place was an illusion. The darts were as physical as one believed them to be. Fear them —> Get skewered.

He spent a while observing the darts but then started laughing. "Hehe, this will be a piece of cake. I've memorized all the patterns!" He said as he took out a blindfold.

The madman was going in blind?!

He cried out as he rushed in, doing countless acrobatics…and tanking every dart! How could one be so bad?! On the other side, he patted himself.

"Not a single wound?! Like a Boss!" He laughingly left.

Outside, the elves were about to have a heart attack. He thought the darts were real yet managed to go through anyway?! This didn't make any sense?!

Soon Jack was confronted with a giant man-eating plant. The thing's teeth were big enough to skewer a damn elephant! The human was instantly scared into submission.

"He deserves to be eaten, EATEN!!!" But he wasn't… He somehow headpatted his way to safety by mistake!

In a cave, countless stalactites started falling like death sentences. It was time to run! The human rushed all around, stumbling everywhere.

The man had no plan, skill, or worth, yet he survived. Heck, at times, he even stood in place shivering! Once again, his luck saved him.

In a temple, he was confronted with a puzzle. He threw coin after coin, relying entirely on luck to pass the level. It was an insult to anyone's intelligence!

Just like that, Jack emerged from the labyrinth victorious. He looked the same as he once did, everything that had happened inside only an illusion.

Yet, the elves who had done nothing but watch looked worse for the wear for some odd reason. Pale faces, their entire bodies shaking, blood trickling out of their lips.

"I have to admit. This was challenging!" Jack exclaimed with a genuine smile.

"SCREW YOU!!" They shouted, but he only glanced at them, "confused".

[Completed First Trial!]

[Get ready for the Second One!]