My Friend and I Reincarnated Into a Tragedy Dating Game

Chapter 19: Nothing Special

After all that, English class went on rather uneventfully. The only thing different from normal was that Dennis was even more unenthusiastic than before. In gym class, Rae began teaching us the basics of most of the wooden weapons, then got us to train by using them.

From there, she would walk around and correct anyone's posture that was incorrect. Rae was giving us advice and pressing certain parts of our body to force the muscle into the correct position.

It turns out she was surprisingly knowledgeable about this kind of stuff.

And in a flash, class was finished. As I was walking out of the gym, Raisa appeared next to me.

"Hey! Now you'll be visiting my manor, right?"

I gave a casual nod.

"I guess so. I'll just inform my butler."

Nathan flashed me a smirk, while he was holding his chin with a hand in the position of a finger gun. I bet he thought he looked so slick.

Upon reaching the entrance of the school, I did exactly what I had said, informing the butler that I would be going to Raisa's manor. With that, I walked over to her carriage. Yet, before I could make it all the way there, someone grabbed onto my arm.

"What are you doing? The carriage is over here."

I looked over my shoulder to see Jess. She was gripping my arm rather tightly, cutting off the blood flow. It honestly made me a little bit nervous.

"I was invited to someone else's manor, so I accepted their invitation."

Jess tilted her head to the side and glared at me. I distinctly felt chills down my spine. Damn, did she think I was going to cause trouble just like James?

I mean, that's not the most far-fetched thought considering Bryson was kind of an asshole, but still, it kinda hurts to be judged like that!

Though, right as I was searching for a way out of this scenario, Jess gradually let go of my arm. Even her expression returned to her neutral frown.

"Be home by night."

I scratched the side of my head and nodded.

"Alright."

From there, Raisa grabbed onto my arm and dragged me along.

"Come on! Let's go already!"

She brought me into her own carriage, which was actually a bit larger than ours. Though, considering that it was only me and her sitting down right now, it seemed she normally used it by herself.

That meant it was normally just way too spacious, but I didn't harp on that fact.

Raisa smiled at me and clapped a few times.

"I'm quite excited! In truth, I believed that you were planning on declining my invitation altogether, but I'm pleasantly surprised that was not the case."

I couldn't help but feel the immediate contrast between the atmosphere while in my own carriage and the one here. Raisa tilted her head to the side and shyly looked at me.

"Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

I blinked a few times. We were currently sitting on opposite ends, but it still wasn't that far away because while the room inside the carriage was big, it was still only a room inside a carriage. The request was kinda weird, but I decided not to reject it.

"...If you really want to, but not too close."

With that, Raisa excitedly got off and sat next to me. Thankfully, she did respect my personal space and didn't get too close. From there, she still had her smile but began whispering to me.

"I wanted to talk more about what you had said earlier."

I raised an eyebrow and turned to her, feeling the sudden change of tone in her voice.

"What exactly are you talking about?"

She took a deep breath with one hand on her heart. It looked like it took a lot of courage for her to say her next words.

"That we can't trust those in our own kingdom."

I leaned back in my seat, contemplating it for a few moments. That was something I implied I guess, but I feel like it's taking it too far to jump to conclusions like that.

Or is that just something that nobles do?

I closed my eyes and tried to recall the name Raisa from the game. Having played all the routes multiple times, I was able to recall lists of names one after another, slowly filtering through them. However, nothing came up.

I guess she wasn't all that important of a character to the story.

Now the question was, should I even tell her in the first place? If she gets unnecessarily involved in the story, it could screw our predictions even further than they've already been messed up.

While I was pondering over it, Raisa tilted her head to the side with a small pout. She seemed to be a little upset.

"Is it something you can't tell me?"

I tapped my chin a few times before turning to her.

"It's nothing like that. I'm more so wondering whether or not it is even worth it to tell you in the first place."

Raisa blinked several times, recoiling back slightly. She took a few minutes to process what I was saying before letting out a chuckle.

"You were rather blunt about that."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I see no reason to lie about it."

Raisa clicked her tongue and crossed her arms.

"At least you could sugarcoat it."

I scratched the side of my head before supporting my head with my fist. She watched me curiously, as though my actions were somehow worth looking at. I then responded flatly.

"I guess I could've. But I don't really like it when people sugarcoat things."

Raisa continued to look at me, all the while hardly blinking. On top of that, her body was hardly moving. Honestly, it was kinda creeping me out a little, making me think that maybe she suddenly turned into a doll. If it wasn't for the fact I could just barely make out the fact that she was breathing, I would've pushed her away.

Eventually, she muttered in a sad voice.

"But that's what nobles do best..."

It appeared that Raisa was recalling some memories that made her sad. I wouldn't know what those were, but I'm sure she needed a bit of time to shake it off. It took her a minute or so, but she was able to break out of her stupor.

She looked at me like I was an enigma when I was really just a person being blunt.

"How... can you be like this?"

My eyelid twitched. I had a feeling I understood what she was talking about, but still couldn't be sure.

"You really need to be more specific if you are asking questions."

Instead of responding, she gingerly picked up my arm by the wrist, bringing my hand closer to her face. She flipped it to look at my open palm and ever so gently pushed away my fingers with her other hand.

She mumbled under her breath, probably not wanting me to hear.

"You aren't an alien..."

Raisa then spoke to me gently but did it all the while staring at my hand.

"How are you able to act like that? When nobles are all expected to be so formal and rigid. Are you not afraid of looking barbaric or unrefined?"

I felt cold sweat on my back.

The reason why I wasn't acting like a noble wasn't that I wasn't afraid of those things, but rather because I literally had no idea how to! But... I can't say that!

While my mind was in chaos, Raisa continued.

"There are so many rumors about you, that they've reached everyone's ears already. All of them are so wrong, but you don't even try to dispel them. Before anyone has even seen you, they look at you as though you are a piece of trash even though you haven't done anything."

The corner of my lip twitched.

A piece of trash? My reputation is that bad?

...Gah. This girl looks like she's going through puberty or something, but to enter the school in the first place you have to be eighteen. Isn't she a little too old for this?

Ah, whatever.

I tapped on her shoulder, prompting her to look up at me. While looking directly into her eyes, I decided to give her words of encouragement.

"The reason I can act like this despite the way that people look at me and all of the rumors is simply that I don't care about how other people view me."

Raisa looked confused. I cleared my throat and raised a finger, trying not to lose her.

"I don't view my own character by what others think of me. After all, at the end of the day, you will be the one that understands yourself the best. That doesn't mean you understand yourself perfectly or anything, and others can sometimes see things about yourself that you don't."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"But at the end of the day, the best person to make that kind of judgment is you."

Raisa smiled bitterly and looked back down at my palm. Her grip tightened ever so slightly, but it was more so her tensing her muscles rather than holding on to me tighter.

"You make it sound so easy. I've heard to just ignore it, but it still hurts, you know?"

I chuckled and tapped my forehead.

"Yeah, it isn't all that easy to ignore. But that's where you have to learn to be proud of yourself."

Raisa frowned like she was disgusted.

"I don't like nobles that are too proud of themselves."

I waved my hand dismissively.

"This is different. Just because you are proud of yourself doesn't mean you have to flaunt it. Your pride isn't for others to see, but for you."

Then, I put a fist over my heart.

"I know what I've been through. I know what I've overcome. And I am proud of that. No matter what happens, nothing will change what happened and I am here right now with my head up. Perhaps in the future, my memories of it will disappear, or I will no longer be able to hold my head up high, but I know that it is true now."

Raisa furrowed her brows.

"But... I don't have any big achievements."

I raised an eyebrow.

"That's because you are defining achievements by what other people see them as. Maybe at the time, I thought what I'd been through was special, or somehow worse than others. But I understand that there are many others that have been through the same things that I have, or even worse."

My face gradually relaxed as I talked. Though I couldn't see my eyes, I could tell they were beginning to dull.

"For others, it might've been incredibly easy. They may not think that it's anything big. Even if they were to fully understand, there are some that may wonder what the difficult part even was."

The corner of my lip turned up slightly.

"But it was hard for me. And at the end of the day, I know that. Sure, I may have not gone about it in the most beautiful way, but what I do know is that I'm still here, breathing and awake."

Raisa shivered when she looked at me. My expression must've been a little scary.

"...I-It seems like you truly went through something terrifying."

I shook my head.

"No, it's nothing special."