Nine Star Hegemon Body Art (WN)

What Long Chen hadn’t expected was to recognize Lord Brahma’s name in this tablet. This was actually a tablet recording something about Lord Brahma.

Although he couldn’t read second generation immortal characters, there were some third generation characters on it as well. Just the third generation characters alone weren’t enough for him to tell the entire contents, but he could tell that this was a virtue tablet for Lord Brahma.

“Fuck, a traitor who caused the death of his master also gets virtue tablets created for him? Try to have some shame!” raged Long Chen.

“Heaven Master Long Chen, do your best to answer quickly, or you will be eliminated.” The ancient voice rang out again.

Long Chen took a deep breath. Seeing all the looks of delight on his countless enemies, he smiled indifferently.

“This is a virtue tablet related to Lord Brahma. It records some past achievements of Lord Brahma’s youth.”

“Eh!?”

When he said this, in the distance, an elder covered in wrinkles made a shocked sound. But just as Long Chen looked at him, he covered up his shock as if nothing had happened.

“Very good. Continue.”

The ancient voice rang out once more, shocking everyone. Long Chen could actually read second generation Jiuli immortal characters? How was that possible?

Long Chen cursed inside. How could he continue? He couldn’t tell anything further. His translation would definitely be wrong. Thickening his skin, he confidently said, “The heavens were enlightened over seven years, and in the fiftieth year of the sixty-year cycle, divinity descended, a youth ascended to the nine heavens…”

“You must use plain words to translate,” warned the voice.

Long Chen nodded. “In the era of legends when the heavens were formed, an especially piss-like person appeared. He enjoyed success in his youth, like dancing on the edge of a blade, showing off so much that his light soared through the nine heavens, disturbing everyone. When he set out to achieve his Dao, he possessed innate divine energy, and in his hands he held two dads… Oh, sorry, I misread that, it says two hatchets.”

His first line was correct, as that was written with third generation characters. Then the rest were second generation characters that he didn’t recognize, and he directly pretended to read off of it, his expression solemn.

“Wherever his hatchets passed, no man could stop them. He then had an encounter of fate, finding a violet-gold gourd, and became even more amazing, beating his enemies until they were terrified just hearing of him, their underpants flying in the wind. Later, he achieved his Dao, and with new enlightenment, he split his gourd in two, burying half in the ground to absorb the essence of heaven and earth, while he carried the other half throughout the heavens. The half-gourd was called a dipper, and he was famous for becoming the heavens’ number one dipper user. Henceforth, the dipper went east, south, west, north, passing through spring, summer, autumn, and winter- aiya!”[1]

Long Chen was in the midst of spouting absolute nonsense when the divine pillar he was sitting on sank.

The divine pillar was only one foot from the ground. Long Chen was almost eliminated.

“Your nonsense has infuriated the Dao discussion stage. You directly descend nine levels. You now only have one more chance. Shape up,” said that ancient voice.

Normally, when people answered wrongly, they only fell a single foot. But Long Chen’s deliberate nonsense was a disregard for the dignity of the Dao discussion stage, and so he was directly kicked down nine levels, only one step from being eliminated.

The Dao discussion stage had its own item-spirit. This nonsense Long Chen was spouting had infuriated it, and so it gave him a strict punishment. This was not done by someone else but by the Dao discussion stage itself.

“Hahaha, you deserve it! Excellent!”

“Just as I said, he’s a brat that still smells of his mother’s milk. How could he possibly recognize second generation immortal characters?”

“Ah, this is so refreshing. It would be best if someone immediately eliminated him.”

Countless people smiled brightly. Long Chen’s punishment made them want to dance in celebration.

Luo Bing and the others looked at each other. They had thought that he really knew what he was saying with his serious expression. But it was all nonsense.

“How capable.”

Bai Shishi spat out two indifferent words. It was unknown if it was mocking or praise. Most likely, it was the former.

As soon as Long Chen was punished, someone else answered. It was that elder that had let out the small exclamation of shock before.

The elder calmly translated the tablet. This was a tablet recording how Lord Brahma had fallen into the flame domain in his youth and was besieged by evil dragons. He then comprehended the Dao in the flame domain and slew those flame dragons. There was nothing about hatchets, gourds, or dippers.

After the elder smoothly and fluently translated it, a round of applause came from the crowd.

Some people also cursed Long Chen. “Do you see? This is a true instructor, someone wise and experienced, a paragon of virtue and learning. But then look at yourself?”

“A newborn baby also dares to call himself an instructor? You’ve lost the face of the High Firmament Academy.”

“If I were you, I’d just kill myself on the stage. What face do you have to keep living?”

“No, if he died here, it would be a blasphemy to the divine stage. Find a dung pit to drown yourself in. Trash should die in trash.”

Just at this moment, the elder’s divine pillar slowly rose. He smiled and looked at Long Chen kindly. “Youngster, you should be more low-key. You should be aware of yourself and aware of what you are lacking. Hitting your own face to make it bigger is meaningless. After all, you’re not a fatty.”

“Hold it! I suspect this elder of cheating!” shouted Long Chen suddenly.

As soon as he said this, countless people below the stage cursed him, but he ignored them, continuing, “Dao discussion senior, I know you are present. I apologize for my previous conduct. This junior was not respectful enough to senior. However, I have to report that this shameless fellow is cheating. Please light up the third section’s fifth line and have him translate it.”

Long Chen’s words shocked everyone. He was actually talking to the Dao discussion stage? Was he mad? It never conversed with the outside world.

Even more shockingly, just then, a line of character lit up on the divine tablet. It was the line that Long Chen had indicated.

“Senior Dao discussion, you…”

Just at this moment, the expert managing the entire convention that hadn’t revealed himself yet cried out in shock.

At that moment, an order appeared on the stage. “Translate it.”

The Dao discussion stage was actually agreeing with Long Chen. Ignoring everyone, it demanded this elder to translate this line that he had previously translated.

That elder’s expression instantly changed. He began to sweat. For a moment, everyone was deathly silent. Everyone could tell that something was wrong.

“Could it be… that he actually cheated?” Luo Bing stared in shock.

“Old fellow, go ahead. If you’re a real fatty, please start your performance,” said Long Chen with a sinister smile.

[1] ‘Dipper user’ sounds like prostitute.