On The Other Side: I Quit Being Human

"I don't have any recollection of what happened. Although I said it was a blur, it was more like a blank. Everything was black until I woke up."

I shrug my shoulders as I say that. Expecting Layland to look at me skeptically, I am quite floored to meet his accepting look. He looks like he can relate to it. I know the same thing happened to him not long ago, but it is still surprising. I have hidden things from him for quite some time--it's not wrong to expect him to not trust me.

"I believe Ilschevar and Valeria didn't keep quiet about it and told you what happened--am I wrong?" the brilliant bastard says.

"No, you are not wrong. I don't have any recollection of what happened that day, but I know what happened," I admit. "I went berserk. The then Sixth Demon King at that time destroyed my Mana Pool, causing my Demonic Essence to overwhelm my body."

Mana Pool in a Demon is used as the vessel for the Demonic Essence. Demons can live without a Mana Pool, but they will have to assume their True Form all the time. It is destructing their mind which will only make them thoughtless killing machines. In a way, Mana Pool is a controlling measure for them.

I lost mine and that caused me to go berserk. Added to that, I have Disaster as my Origin. You can imagine just how much chaos I caused back then. Although I was eventually stopped and I managed to rebuild my Mana Pool after a decade, it was still a nightmare for me and those who were present that day.

"Lady Valeria and Lord Ilschevar had to work together to take me down. I owe a lot to them."

They were not the only ones trying their best to take me down. There were many others, but they were the only ones who managed to survive. My fellow Warriors, who used to be in the same Legion as I was, died at my hands. Even Vitolen the Demon King's General who used to command me also died at my hands.

I didn't only lose my mind that day. I lost everything. Ilschevar and Valeria were kind enough to not kill me on the spot. They chose to seal me instead which saved my life but sent tens of thousands of the Warriors to oblivion.

They also suffered some severe injuries, but none of them seemed to mind it. I woke up finding their apologetic smile and that made my heart clench. I was the one who should have apologized. I was the one who fucked up, but they apologized to me instead. I can't forget those words until today: "We shouldn't have you walk this path. We are sorry."

It was a simple sorry, yet the look they gave me made me cry. It had been a long time since I saw a genuine look on someone's face. I had never expected to see a Demon or someone associated with one to have that look. I was shocked and touched. The guilt I felt got more intense and I couldn't bear to look at their faces.

I was a failure. Because of my selfishness, I killed too many of our allies. Ilschevar and Valeria assured me it wasn't my fault--my Origin was not something that I could control--but I couldn't take it and still can't. After all, if I didn't recklessly charge into the enemy's rank, I wouldn't have ended up like that. If only I didn't let my bloodlust reign over me...

"What is done is done. Crying over spilled milk is as useless as telling Tokugawa Ieyasu to stop fucking prostitutes so he wouldn't contract syphilis," Layland remarks, awakening me from my depressing thoughts. "I bet your guilt is what makes you distant from Ilschevar and Valeria. Must be hard for them to deal with such a whiny bitch."

"What the fuck...? I am self-conscious, bastard! Because of my selfishness, we lost a lot of our Warriors. I killed Vitolen, one of the Demon King's Generals even though we couldn't afford to lose one at that time. I also became useless moving meat! Because of that, we...became the weakest Demon Kingdom out of the nine Kingdoms."

I just became what Layland told me I was without my realizing it. When I do, I click my tongue and take a look at his face. As I expected, instead of being surprised by my outburst, he smiles at me in amusement. Damn, his smile is gorgeous. I am mesmerized and embarrassed at the same time.

"That doesn't matter, does it? The Verniculos Kingdom has me, after all."

"Pfft." I scoff involuntarily. "Confident, aren't you?"

"My Origin is the nemesis of your Origin. I am the only person in this world who can stop you when you go berserk once again."

Layland's Origin, Pride. All I know about it is that it makes him stronger the stronger his enemy is. Nobody knows the technicality of the Origin, but he is right: if there is someone able to stop me when I go berserk, it will be him. Though, I am afraid he underestimates me. It has been a decade since that day. There is no guarantee my power remains the same.

If I go berserk once again, saying that I will put an end to this world won't be an exaggeration.

"Don't overestimate yourself, silly. This world still has God that can stop you. He wouldn't have stayed quiet when you went berserk if not for the fact that he could stop you."

Now that I think about it, I wonder why God didn't show up until I was knocked out cold. Ah, that reminds me that I haven't told Layland about what happened when I "lost my mind."

"Enough of that. Just tell me what happened when you were out of your mind." As expected of Layland, he quickly asks me about it.

When I went berserk, Vitolen and the Warriors under him did their best to stop. They held me back from rushing to the nearest Demon City, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. They held on until Valeria and Ilschevar came to aid them. Unfortunately, by that point, all of them were already on the brink of death. Even Vitolen died as soon as he saw Ilschevar and Valeria arrive.

The Luxibrae Army, who had been watching as the chaos ensued, immediately retreated upon the two's arrival. The then Sixth Demon King remained there, arrogantly declaring it was the downfall of the Verniculos Kingdom. He wasn't wrong, but the same was also true for his Kingdom.

Ilschevar fought him as Valeria held me back. The fight didn't last long. He was quickly taken down. Ilschevar then aided Valeria to stop me and it took them half an hour to do it. They didn't want to kill me, allowing me to destroy some part of the Kingdom. Thousands of civilians died because of it, but I was eventually taken down.

Ilschevar said it was a small price to pay for my life. He explained that another thing happened after I was sealed. God descended when he was already exhausted. He believed everything had been planned. It was at that time that he suspected his siblings were teaming up to take him down. He quickly became sure when he heard their excuse at the Demon King Summit.

"Each of us has a mind on our own. We don't dictate to others what to do and what to think. Each decision we make comes from our conscious mind and not the influence of others. Levantine Welkan messed up and it was his fault."

It was extremely clear that his siblings turned one of them into a scapegoat when things didn't turn out the way they had expected. It was quite bizarre for Ilschevar to see how much his siblings wanted to kill him. They were willing to collude with God just to take him down. He almost couldn't help himself to kill every one of them right then and there.

He held himself back in the end. He knew that Verniculos would disappear along with him should he let his emotion reign over him. I was there as he clenched his fist while looking at each one of his siblings. I was powerless, but he still showed me off. It was like a way to tell that Verniculos was weakened but was by no means weak.

"Ilschevar is weakened, isn't he?"

As expected of the brilliant Layland, he catches up quickly. He didn't need to ask to figure that out. His brilliance is just as annoying as it is astonishing. I wonder what else he has managed to figure out just from listening to my story.

"That is what holds him back from being away from his throne. He can no longer kill God without risking himself and can't protect you while fighting God. You are...a liability."

"What do you mean?"

I am shocked beyond words. I didn't expect this would be on me. I can't help wondering why. What is my role in Ilschevar's reason for staying back?

"Ilschevar is a soft Demon--I get it now. His reluctance to kill you is proof of that," Layland points out. "He has a weapon that can destroy the world and has full control of her, but he makes her a maid. His siblings want to seize control over the weapon from his hand."

I only listen dumbly as he speaks.

"The agreement with God must have been like this. 'You hold that Ilschevar back meanwhile we seize control over the Disaster. We promise we will never use it against you.' Though, it is useless." Layland smiles softly and puts his hand on my forehead. "After all, you are mine."

The Geas on my forehead that I thought he had sneakily removed appears. His eyes look at me as if asking if I can accept the fact. I dumbly nod. His eyes glint, telling me he has foreseen the acceptance.