Poison Genius Consort (Web Novel)

Time was up!

The South Lord hadn’t even finished his eighth jug, while the North Lord had only drank half of his ninth jug. Both of them were now drunk on the ground, while Han Yunxi was still standing after nine full jugs.

Han Yunxi had won!

All of the people present found it inconceivable and hard to believe their own eyes. But the truth was right there. Those who had been waiting for Han Yunxi to lose, as well as a few males who had no interest in the matter whatsoever, were now looking at her with increased respect.

Too fierce!

They really were…convinced by this woman!

Princess Changping was shaken as she stood watching the ruddy-cheeked, noble Han Yunxi. For some reason, she inexplicably felt inferior. At the same time, Murong Wanru bumped her from the back and said, “Princess!”

Only then did Princess Changping recover and realize their chance had come. She immediately put out a cheerful expression and laughed. “I knew our Qin Wangfei wouldn’t be defeated and lose face for Imperial Uncle! Imperial Aunt has won this drinking contest!”

The convinced crowd all assumed that Princess Changping had been convinced as well. But Han Yunxi couldn’t help but feel that something was off. But now she was even having trouble standing straight since she was drunk, too. Still, she forced herself to stay alert. She didn’t know why Princess Changping had called the North and South Lords here, but she couldn’t help but think that something had to be wrong. Despite this, she couldn’t say what it was. In the end, she decided those two drunken men couldn’t really do much, anyways.

“Then I ask Princess Changping to urge the North and South Lords not to forget our bet!” Han Yunxi said.

“But of course! It’s mandatory!” Princess Changping was very happy.

After she was sure the contest was over, Han Yunxi relaxed her guard. Truthfully speaking, she really had drank too much, far past her own limits. She slowly sat down, a hand resting on her forehead. Right now, her head felt heavy and dizzy, while her stomach churned like the ocean. She wanted to throw up but couldn’t, while her body felt more and more listless. She was too lazy to even move, and would rather collapse and sleep right here. Han Yunxi was about to get a servant girl to bring her to the house nearby to rest when Murong Wanru walked over.

“Sister-in-law, I’ll help you over to rest. You’ve drank too much.”

“No need, have a servant girl bring me instead,” Han Yunxi said mildly, forcing herself to look alert. She didn’t feel easy about Murong Wanru helping her now at all.

“Liangchen, Meijing[2], you two help bring esteemed wangfei to the side rooms to rest. Take good care of her!” As soon as Princess Changping spoke, two court ladies hurried over to support Han Yunxi by the arm.

Murong Wanru couldn’t help but feign concern. “Sister-in-law, why don’t I go with you?”

“No need. You should all continue, I’ll be fine after a little rest.” Han Yunxi indeed still looked very alert, but everyone knew that she’d be drunk sooner or later after drinking so much wine. Murong Wanru followed her for a few more steps before retreating, sending a smile towards Princess Changping as she sat back in her original position.

Princess Changping had calmed down enough to cast a glance at the sprawled forms of the North and South Lords. Lazily she said, “Eunuch Li, bring the North and South Lords away to recover from their wine. For these men to lose to a woman is truly shameful!”

“Yes, your old servant obeys,” Eunuch Li squawked in response.

Soon enough, the banquet continued with Princess Changping in excellent spirits. She chatted and spoke with everyone else, laughing and cursing up a lively scene. At the side rooms, Han Yunxi dismissed the two court ladies before locking the doors to her room behind her. Only then did she completely lower her guard and fell heavily to the ground on her butt. It was impossible for her to even stand up anymore.

She really had drank too much!

She really wanted to fall asleep, but she knew she couldn’t. The quickest and most healthiest way to relieve her drunkenness was to throw up the wine she drank. After resting for a bit, she forced her eyes open and used the harshest method to make herself vomit. That was by using her finger to press down on her tongue before digging down her throat. This motion was enough to make her gag!

Once she gagged, she threw up everything. She hadn’t eaten much, so what came up was pure wine. Gradually, after countless gagging and vomiting, her insides felt much more comfortable. She was also much more alert than before, though her body still felt weak and listless. Han Yunxi rinsed out her mouth a few times before taking out some glucose from her detox system and drinking it down to prevent collapsing. Although she was a doctor of poisons, her detox system still stored quite a supply of emergency medicine. Anyone who’d been drunk before understood that glucose intake was mandatory after vomiting. Then one had to sleep for at least a few hours before one recovered one’s energy.

Han Yunxi climbed onto the bed with difficulty, falling onto the surface before losing all energy to move around. She fell asleep in the same position that she landed in. The room fell into silence, but not long afterwards, a noise came from the door. The clacking noise grew bigger and bigger. This…was obviously someone trying to force their way in!

On the bed, Han Yunxi had absolutely no energy as she slept on completely unconscious, not hearing a thing.

Soon enough, the lock on the door fell with a bang. Then, someone carefully opened it up from outside. There was a bunch of whispers, though the speaker and words were both indiscernible. Next thing one knew, a figure was pushed inside, where he fell with a whump to the ground, paralyzed. Afterwards, the door was slowly shut again.

Silence returned to the room, but Han Yunxi was still clueless about everything.

Inside the door, the person that had been shoved in was none other than the drunken North Lord Zhangsun Che. He lay unmoving on the ground for a while before turning over to face the ceiling. His face was completely red, including his ears. The hue was even redder than someone who was drunk, as if he was burning up.

Right now, that was exactly what Zhangsun Che felt like. He had no idea that his body was warming up as well, but as the heat increased, his strength seemed to come back with it. It was unclear with this strength came from, but the suffocating temperatures were making him uncomfortable enough to want to work it off!

“So hot!” he muttered to himself, unconsciously opening up his collar and undoing his waistband as he crawled to him feet. He staggered for a few steps before coming to a firm stop against a table. At the same time, he saw the sleeping Han Yunxi on the bed!

In an instant, a dry, raging fire rose up from his stomach. Zhangsun Che couldn’t help but swallow his saliva as he smiled drunkenly. “A woman, hehe! Your young lord’s coming!”

How could he recognize her as Qin Wangfei? A lecherous smile rose on his face as he approached her, stripping along the way.

“Little woman, eldest young lord’s coming this way!” He was almost upon her, but Han Yunxi still hadn’t moved an inch. She seemed completely unaware of her own precarious position. Zhangsun Che began tearing off his clothes in a hurry and was even undoing his underpants. It was obvious that he’d been drugged!

Heavens, and Han Yunxi still wasn’t aware.

Too horrific!

Right now, Zhangsun Che was only three steps away from the bed. He stood still and stared at Han Yunxi like a hunter marking its prey, gulping down his saliva. At the same time–

Dootdoot! Dootdoot!

In the recesses of Han Yunxi’s mind, an emergency alarm began to blare in the presence of poison!

Zhangsun Che carefully observed the drunk, sleeping Han Yunxi, who immediately opened her eyes upon hearing the alarm. For a doctor, she was trained to wake up in a moment’s notice even in the middle of the night and become alert immediately. But this time, she woke up at the same moment the bare-chested Zhangsun Che came pouncing down.

“Ah!” Han Yunxi cried out as she dodged. Zhangsun Che landed in the space next to her, while she was still weak and only managed to dodge because she was startled. She perched on one side, looking at the man beside her in disbelief, her face frightened to the point that it turned green. What was Zhangsun Che doing here?

Dootdootdoot! Dootdootdoot!

In her mind, the detox system was still giving her constant warnings. Han Yunxi stilled herself for a better look and immediately realized that this fellow had been poisoned with an aphrodisiac! Even though it was a type of medicine, it was essentially poison that harmed the body! Hadn’t she locked the door? How did this guy get in? When Han Yunxi looked towards the door, she found that someone had actually pried the lock open. She sucked in a cold breath as she suddenly realized that this was a conspiracy. Zhangsun Che must have been thrown into this room after he was drugged!

Breaking open the door must have caused a commotion, but were the servant girls and guards all deaf? None of them found anything wrong? Princess Changping must have orchestrated this!

Detestable!

No, it was absolutely disgusting. They actually used such base and dirty tactics!

Han Yunxi was in the throes of her anger when Zhangsun Che suddenly turned over and reached out a hand for her. “Little woman, don’t dodge. This young lord will make sure you’re very comfortable!”

Han Yunxi evaded his hand, but Zhangsun Che immediately grabbed at her with his other hand until he caught her sleeve and dragged her closer. He sucked in a vicious breath and lifted a leg in preparation to mount her. Han Yunxi was thoroughly frightened. She had no strength right now to struggle or avoid him. Without thinking, she retrieved an acupuncture needle from her detox system and used all her strength to stab him in the leg!

“Ah!” Zhangsun Che groaned in pain as he tumbled aside, a little more sober than before. Still, between the aphrodisiac and alcohol, he’d long lost his reason to the raging fire inside him. No matter what, he had to have this woman.

“Stinking woman!” he roared in rage and pounced again. Han Yunxi wanted to escape, but she was simply too weak. A single roll over had her falling off the bed. But Zhangsun Che actually caught her by the arm and refused to let her go while his other hand started groping her way.

“Scram!” Han Yunxi shouted, stabbing him with a needle again. Yet she really was too feeble, so this jab was nothing more that a painless poke in his skin. Zhangsun Che gave a sharp tug and tore her sleeve, freeing Han Yunxi in the process. She fell to one side, finally drawing some distance between him. After a long exhale, Han Yunxi suddenly realized that she was perfectly capable of curing his poison or poisoning him in turn!

Dammnit!

Had she been scared witless?

She was ready to poison him to death right there and then, but she still held back. Since Princess Changping had poisoned him, there had to be more to this plot. Nothing could happen to Zhangsun Che. Right now, he had crawled off the bed and was approaching her again. His aphrodisiac was a commonly find type and quite easy for her to cure. She raised her needle and aimed for an acupoint in his abdomen. Two needles would be enough to completely dispel the drug.

Han Yunxi was shaking with fear as Zhangsun Che drew closer. Because she lacked strength, she could only wait for him to get closer before she acted. Her palms were even beginning to sweat. She’d never been so nervous in her life before. After all, if she missed, then everything was over!

-o-

[1] Liangchen, Meijing (良辰，美景) – these two names form a 4-character idiom that means “a fine moment” and “a beautiful scene,” respectively.