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"The truth is that after the fusion, once Grandma told me that I wasn't pregnant, I felt sad when I was supposed to be relieved. It would have messed my life and Lith's marriage big time, yet despite all my logic that's what I truly wanted." Solus finally said.
An awkward silence fell between them as Solus searched for the words to express her feelings and the others blinked dumbly at her.
"I think that deep down I'm really scared of losing Lith. That now that Kamila knows everything, our bond will weaken and we'll grow distant.
"Maybe, in a dark corner of my head, I thought that a baby would have strengthened our bond again and given me a part of Lith that would only belong to me." Solus' voice was a whisper as if she feared someone might overhear her.
"Wait a second." Tista said. "What do you mean, now that Kamila knows everything? She already knew about all of my brother's secrets from the day she broke up with him. Also, why did neither you nor Lith tell her about the fusion and what it might cause in the future?"
"Kami knew almost everything. Now the 'almost' is gone and there's no part of Lith's life that belongs only to me." Unlike Tista, Nyka knew about Derek and caught Solus' drift. "As for the fusion, we didn't tell her because their relationship was already a mess.
"Any more and it would have crumbled apart. The fusion might save our lives in the future, but if we tell Kami, she would live in fear of it and constantly put a strain on their marriage. I don't want them to break up, especially not because of me. Again.
"My problem is that my mind knows how complicated and toxic my relationship with Lith would be but my heart doesn't give a damn. I'm stuck between a rock and a crazy place."
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt"I see." Tista had noticed that until recently Lith and Kamila had been awkward about each other and even though she was curious, she decided to respect the privacy of the three of them.
"Well, my only suggestion is to hope that the War of the Griffons ends soon and to use the time before the baby is born wisely."
"What do you mean?" Solus asked.
"Do you remember the trip we had planned before all this mess started?" Tista said, receiving a nod in reply. "I think that as soon as Lith's life isn't in danger anymore, you should take your time away from him.
"Seeing places, meeting people, and discovering what you want from life. This way, you can put some distance between the two of you, get him out of your mind, and decide if you really want to go on with being a mom.
"Once the baby is born, there will be no backing out."
"What if I don't change my mind? What if this is what I truly want?" Both answers to Solus' questions scared her out of her wits.
On the one hand, her feelings for Lith and Kamila were so strong that even the idea of going away hurt. On the other hand, she was terrified of being demoted from partner to sidekick and only living a half-life.
"We'll worry about that when the time comes." Nyka replied. "Yet this puts me in a difficult position."
"What the heck do you have to do in this mess?" Tista asked.
"Well, I can't let you go alone but I can't move during the day either." Nyka pondered. "I doubt that I can reach the full red blood core anytime soon even if Tista lets me drink from her daily. Which means that I have to ask Dawn a favor."
"Wait, since when do you know Dawn?" Solus asked in surprise.
Nyka used a mind link to share with them the events following the Horseman's defeat at Thrud's hands. After being split from Acala, Dawn now lived half the time with Baba Yaga and the other half at Lightkeep.
The former helped her in her research to find a way to make the undead absorb knowledge along with the life essence they fed upon. In the Eclipsed Lands, instead, Dawn taught the undead how to use light magic with minimum strain on their blood cores.
"She needs a host and I need a way to move during the day." Nyka said with a smug grin that the other two found dumb at best. "Worst case scenario, I can settle for one of her prisms. Her Chosen can move freely anyway."
"Are you insane?" Solus blurted out in surprise. "It's a frigging Horseman! You know what she has done to Nalrond's village, to Acala, and to countless undead. How can you trust her with your life?"
"I can because she reminds me of you." Nyka said, her smile never faltering.
"What do you mean?"
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm"Well, her mother turned her into an artifact, she bonded with a crazy man she's in love with, and she's trying to make the right thing even if it comes at great personal cost." Nyka shrugged.
"Sure, she has done a lot of bad things in the past, but I'm pretty sure that you too would have done the same if you bonded with the wrong person. For the rest of Mogar Lith is a piece of work, but he always put you first and treated you as a person even when you were reduced to a piece of rock.
"In your misfortune, you have been damn lucky. Losing your memory gave you a real fresh start and you found not a perfect man, but the perfect host."
"When you put it that way, it makes sense." Solus pondered.
"On top of that, it's not meant to be permanent." Nyka said. "Baba Yaga can split us like she did with Acala anytime we want. At the same time, it would give me my own Solus and I could get to walk a mile in Lith's shoes."
"In theory, it's a good idea, but there's a catch. What if Dawn triggers a mind fusion and finds out about Solus?" Tista said.
"Oh, crap! I didn't think about it. I have to ask Baba Yaga. Even better, you could ask her, Solus." Nyka said.
"We'll see. Until the War of the Griffons ends, this is just wishful thinking." Solus sounded dispirited but she was inwardly intrigued at the idea.
Just like Nyka had pointed out, Dawn and Solus were two peas in a pod. On top of that, Dawn would be the first person who could fully understand Solus and her struggles.
***
Meanwhile, in the tower's restaurant, the various couples were enjoying an excellent meal without anyone bothering them. The Alchemical lab and the Factory could produce by themselves anything Lith could as long as it didn't require a mana core above the blue.
It allowed him to delegate the cooking and the guests to ask for as many seconds as they wanted. Also, a simple Hush spell for each table kept the conversations from being overheard.
Lith had moved the dining room to the top floor of the tower and turned the walls and ceiling into glass, obtaining a panoramic restaurant like no other.