The Abandoned Empress

Jiun, who was squatting down, devastated, for a long time, suddenly stood up and ran out. The startled maids hurriedly followed her.

‘You guys must have heard it all.’

Enraged by the thought that they must have sneered at her from behind, she sharply told them not to follow her, then turned abruptly and left the palace alone.

After taking a long walk, she arrived at the corner of the Imperial Palace garden, sat down, and looked up at the sky. Watching the stars twinkling in the dark sky, she realized once again that this was not the place where she used to live. Suddenly, tears came down her cheek.

“Mom, Dad, Jisu.”

I, Jiun, never wanted to be the empress. On my way back to the house, I stumbled upon a shining coin and picked it up. Then, suddenly I felt dizzy and fell after losing my mind. When I woke up, I was in a completely different world. Foreigners in strange costumes spoke to me, saying this was the Imperial Palace and the empire in a language that I could not understand at all.

I told them not to talk nonsense, asking them to send me back home, but no one listened. I suspected I was dreaming, so I tried to sleep, but I was in the same world after several days passed.

When I was getting more and more nervous, a man who seemed to be in a high position at first glance came to me. He was wearing a luxurious dress without any spots and putting out a sense of pressure from his cold attitude, with his deep blue hair that does not exist on earth. Introducing himself as the crown prince, he said I had better stay here because they said I was the child of God’s prophecy.

A few days later, when I realized that this was not a dream, but a reality, I was in a place completely different from the earth in which I lived and that it was a world similar to the modern Europe that I learned in class, the emperor died and the crown prince succeeded the throne. When I was agonizing over how to go home, thinking what’s happening around me had nothing to do with me, suddenly a man who called himself a duke came to me and told her that I was the child of God’s prophecy and that I was the crown prince’s spouse designated by God. Then he said I would be married to the crown prince, and have a coronation ceremony.

I thought it was ridiculous. I became intimate with him a bit, but how could I get married to this cold-blooded man? He didn’t even shed a single tear even when his father passed away. But the duke repeatedly persuaded me to marry him, saying that the crown prince was warm-hearted, once I got to know him, and that he cared for me very much. The duke even lied to me, saying that the world outside the Imperial Palace was rough and that it would be very difficult for a woman to live alone.

I suddenly got scared when I heard that. In this strange world where they didn’t understand even the concept of human rights, I couldn’t live alone. So, I agreed to marry the crown prince on the condition that he would postpone sleeping with me on the night of the wedding.

I then rationalized it by myself, thinking that maybe the crown prince might love me, as the duke said. Given that he softened his cold attitude toward me, maybe he was alright. As they said, a woman would be better off getting married to a man who loved her rather than a man that she loved.

After becoming the empress, I spent every dayy, reading books all day long. Although I could get to speak to them, I had no background knowledge about this empire and could not read their writing. However, no matter how much I studied, I could not get any tangible progress in understanding the writings of this empire. The so-called imperial etiquette taught by a strict noblewoman stressed me out all the more. The only person who helped me hold out in this hellish world, listening to my complaints, was Rublis.

Then I came to see ‘that woman’ one day.

One day when I ran out of my palace, sick and tired of repeated lessons, I saw her while I was hiding in the bush to avoid the maids searching for me. The girl, who seemed to be my sister Jisu’s age, was very small and slender, holding a light cream-colored parasol in one hand, with her long silver hair shining brightly in the sun. Even though she was wearing a dress long enough to touch the ground, she quietly walked with dignity.

I immediately realized that her walking style was what my teacher described as elegant walking and that she was a noblewoman.

I was very curious about what kind of person she was, so I asked the maids about her identity, but they all didn’t reply as if they were embarrassed. The only clue I could get was when a young maid muttered ‘concubine,’ and Rublis, frowning at me, said I didn’t have to care about her.

So, I guessed the girl was probably a princess. Based on what the maid said, and given her age, the girl must be a princess. Besides, those who could live in the palace were the members of the imperial family anyway.

I observed her for a few days to get intimate with her and found out that at a certain time she took a walk in the small garden in the corner of the inner palace. I approached her, pretending to bump into her there. I really liked her, when she gracefully greeted me, with her mysterious golden eyes slightly lowered. I could feel her voice, not loud or small, had some charisma that I could not find in Rublis. I admired her, feeling deep inside that a royal member like her was different, and I even wanted to be like her and made her an object of admiration.

But she always kept a distance from me. So, I was determined to befriend her, though I was a bit frustrated. I decided that I would learn how to act gracefully and become the majestic empress.

Only

So, when I realized that she was the emperor’s second wife, namely concubine, I was shocked a lot. Never did I think Rublis would have another woman, and that woman was the same girl that I admired. I was confused by that shocking fact that I discovered when I was opening my heart to him little by little, and I felt very sorry for her because she had her fiance taken away by me, even though she was designated as his official fiance since she was born.

When I thought how miserably she might have felt, watching me tell her about Rublis, I couldn’t stand idle any more, so I went to see her to apologize. I would have felt much more comfortable if she had blamed and shouted at me, but she was calm to my surprise. She said calmly that she didn’t deserve the post of the empress from the beginning.

I couldn’t understand why she said that. If I were in her shoes, I would certainly hate my fiance who betrayed me and the woman who took my lover from me, but she didn’t show any such reaction. Angered by her casual attitude, I blurted out whatever came to my mind. After blurring out like that for a while, I suddenly felt I said something so harshly, so I tried to apologize hesitantly. But when I raised my head, I could not say a word at her strange coldness.

I stiffened in spite of myself when she scolded me coldly with her calm golden eyes full of hostility.

I felt a prick in the heart when she asked me why I wanted to be the empress without any particular reason, telling me that I should be responsible for my decision. In fact, I became the empress to be guaranteed comfortable accommodations because I was thrown into a strange world against my will, and I had never thought about being the empress or what kind of role the empress was supposed to play. I found myself dwarfed by her majestic stance when she expressed intense anger at me because she had been striving for that position all her life.

So, I told Rublis that he should take good care of her instead of me. Although I felt heartbroken when I asked him to do so, I thought it was the right thing to do. So, I turned a deaf ear to his repeated dissuasion.

But when he left to see her, I became anxious. When I imagined them talking face to face, my heart sank.