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147 Ayla
Isabella and Rodrick were waiting for us at the front door. I can suddenly see where Griffin has his
careful and worrying nature from. Where Rodrick rushes up to me and gathers me in a bear hug that
has me feel like he is breaking my ribs. Isabella smacks her mate telling him to be careful and then
fuzzes over me making sure I am alright.
It’s a thirty-minute drive, Griffin surprises me when he suggests we go there in two separate cars.
Again Rodrick seems to want to speak up while Isabella stops him from doing so, agreeing with their
son. Only when we get to the car I finally get his plan.
“Close your eyes, Darling sleep for thirty minutes it will do you some good,” He tells me as he gets into
his truck.
He just gave me an opportunity to rest a little more. A moment I needed so I do as he said and I curl up
in the passenger seat. Where the rumbling of the car engine “sings” me to sleep instantly. Attentive as
he is Griff wakes me up five minutes before we arrive at the food festival. Giving me the chance to feel
less drowsy.
After parking he jumps out to open the door, something he has always done. Tonight it feels like a
reminder of how good life can be with him. How special and cherished he makes me feel every day. I
ignore the little voice in my head that I should be wearing his mark already. That I have no idea when I
will be able to wear it because the thirty minutes of sleep in the car were far from enough. And a part of
me regrets agreeing with this plan.
Maybe Griffin was right, maybe this is all too much, too soon. Still, I can’t help but bask in the light of
the setting sun. Enjoy the wind on my skin and the buzz of the night that is alive with happy people.
The
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air is pregnant with the smell of various foods.
I am unsure if Rodrick does because he sees how tired I am. Or if just like his son, he is a gentleman.
But he suggests we get a table to sit down on every time we find something to eat. He spotted some
tables you can reserve for a little money. While the lawn chairs won’t be very comfortable this table at
least gives me a place to sit down when I need to. And pausing in between all rounds being able to sit
and take my time eating will help too.
***
Two hours later we were on our way back, of course, I was the one who wanted to go home first. And
at the end of the night, I was swaying on my legs with how tired I was. During the car ride home, I could
not sleep because Griffin was clearly upset with me. Even if he said no when I asked him about it. The
tick in his jaw, and his white knuckles because he was gripping the steering wheel too hard was all I
needed to know.
***
This time he didn’t just open the door for me and he carried me to the car. Still not saying a word. We
had gotten into arguments before, when I was strong, when I felt safe. Now all that had happened to
me left me feeling vulnerable and raw.
“Please Griff, I can tell you are upset please tell me how I can make it “up to you?” I begged not
wanting to be so terrible at communicating
again that I would spiral.
Spiral into that dark place where I can’t believe he loves me. Where I am so sure he is going to find
fault in who I am and what I do that he will leave me. The dark place where I want to spare myself from
that pain so much that I will find fault in everything he does just so he isn’t the one to find fault in me.
The place where I was when we just met.
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The place he healed me from and the one place where I never want to go back to.
“I’m not upset with you Darling, can we please talk about this in our room when we’re in our bed” He
grits out through his teeth.
Leaving me with no choice but to believe him and just wait. Trying to stop myself from spiraling into that
dark place.
And I manage to when we reach our chambers and Griffin struggles to open the door because he
seems unable or unwilling to let me go. I am still not in that dark place, all I am is anxious about what
he will tell me. Being anxious is far better than being there. He eventually manages to open the door
and lays me down on the bed.
Taking off my sneakers, and getting a clean one of his shirts for me to sleep in. All without saying a
word.
“Please, I can’t stand this any longer I am so scared you don’t want to be with me anymore” I cry and
he comes to an immediate standstill.
“Darling, all I ever wanted was to be with you, even before I knew you. You were all I ever imagined
when I was dreaming about my mate.” He makes his way to the bed and sits down next to me before
he
continues.
“Remember how I said I loved that you’re so petite. I still do but I loved it because it made me feel like
the big strong Alpha wolf that could protect you. It is st upid because you never needed it. It was just a
feeling I loved” He falls quiet just staring at his hands like he doesn’t know how to go on.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmThe only comfort I can offer him is to put my hand on his thigh. What he just told me is nothing new, but
there is more to it, that much is clear. I just don’t know what to tell him either.
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After two minutes in this awkward silence, he clears his throat and he
continues.
“And I failed it, when David kidnapped you, when it took me weeks to find out where he was. Then I
stood on top of your prison, sensing you but I couldn’t rescue you. I hate myself for it and now I couldn’t
keep you safe you from almost collapsing from being so tired. I should have just kept my mouth shut
about the food festival.” He starts crying, I have never seen him cry before.
I have seen him on the verge of tears before, the time when he interrupted me rejecting him to get the
cookies out of the oven. It was easy to forget that Griffin might have been traumatized too. He went
through just as much as I did. Now I am the one who wraps my arms around him. Griffin just slumps
down against me sobbing in my arms.
in between.
“Aren’t you mad with me or disappointed at me?” He asks in between s obs.
“I am not Griff, you were the one that made me pull through, with all the love you showed me.” I start
and then I tell him all about what happened when I was in the coma.
How I had the choice to die, to just stay in the heavenly valley knowing I deserved to be there with the
Moon Goddes and how I had made my way back to him. Hoping it would comfort him so that we could
start healing together.
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