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210 Griffin
I had known I was going to be a Dad for a few weeks now. And I had been happy about it from the start. But it had been a distant concept, we couldn’t talk about it to anyone else. Ayla and I daydreamed about our pup. We made plans, thought about names, and decided we would honor the tradition of naming your pup after one of the important Elders in your life. Somehow becoming a father, and starting the family I used to pray to the Moon Goddess daily felt abstract.
After the BBQ Ayla had shown us what she and the other girls had gotten for our pup on their shopping trip. We had already decided on what room we would turn into a nursery but we hadn’t started on it yet. We couldn’t because decorating a nursery would make it very obvious we were expecting. Our own chambers or apartment as Ayla liked to call it in the castle was private enough. You just had to get in and out through the main halls of the castle. Where everyone and their mother could see you. Which hardly ever was a problem, it is just one of the things that comes with pack living. Let alone in the castle that’s our pack house as well.
Probably in a rush and with no real place to put all the baby stuff they bought Ayla had just put it on our bed. I was about to pick it up to move it to a half–empty dresser drawer when the cute wolf onesie Jessa got us caught my eye. In about six months from now, I would have my son or daughter in my arms wearing this
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very onesie. And I couldn’t be more excited about it. Holding this onesie finally made it real, made it less abstract. I sunk to the bed and could only stare at the onesie. No doubt my tipsy state had something to do with how much the idea of being able to hold my pup in my arms in six months affected me. It was a genuine. happiness though, it just cin raw and unfiltered and I liked it.
Because lately I had been consumed by worries, something felt so off. Conan was perpetually alert too and it was taking a toll on me. Most of all it was taking a toll on my relationship. I mean we were still good, but it was the little things. Ayla is less inclined to tellthings like her meeting Hannah. I one hundred percent believed her when she toldshe just wanted to wait until it was the right moment. Because she didn’t want to spoil our night with our family. I trusted her gut instinct too. If she said Hannah was not trying anything I believed her. The thing is she didn’t know if I would, and that’s why she tried not to tellduring the BBQ. Sadly she was right to do so, because while I believed her. And I genuinely wanted to just have a nice night with friends and family. The worry kept gnawing at the back of my mind.
It was
why I drank a little too much, it was the reason my pregnant mate, who in reality still was recovering from all that happened to her. Both mentally and physically was out there cleaning up the remains of our party. I needed to go shower and go to bed to get my head on straight again.
“Baby, please answer me?” I suddenly noticed Ayla was in the room with me. And her question suggested that she had been talking tobefore. She was worried again, I could sense it and I could see it on her face. This was going to stop now!
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“Sorry, Darling, holding this onesie just made it all so real. I was just daydreaming about our future. Let me take you on a date. tomorrow. We will go and look at things like cribs and wallpaper. I will take you out for lunch. We need squality ttogether right?” I tried hard to keep my voice cheery and even. Maybe it was lying to her again, but I don’t want her to know how worried I still am.
Because I was not going to act on it anymore, I needed to stop frantically scouring all the CCTV images for any hint of imminent danger. Our fighters and our guards were well–trained, good at their jobs, and motivated. Their job was to make sure we were safe without having to take a lot of tout of our days. Taking taway from our roles, to maintain safety for us and the rest of the pack. I was doing not only them but my relationship a disservice by doing their job alongside my job.
“If you’re sure, we can find the time. I would actually love that and I feel it would be good for us to just spend sttogether. Allow ourselves to remember why we love each other so much.” Ayla agreed, she is always thinking about our duties to the pack.
She is going to make a wonderful Luna, Queen, and more importantly so an amazing mother to our little pup. I will forever be grateful to the Moon Goddess for blessingwith such an astounding mate. The events of today woredown, when I was still buzzed I could not keep my hands off her. I planned to make love well into the night but I was tired. And from the looks of it, Ayla was too. Instead of trying to seduce her, which honestly always worked out. I pulled her close to my chest wrapping my arms around her so that she could bury her nose in the crook of
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my neck. As I buried mine in her soft chocolate–colored hair.
“Did, you manage to find a suit and groomsmen suits?” Ayla mumbled sleepily.
I I I did but it remindedof the fact I never asked if she found her wedding gown. I had almost ruined the shopping experience for her and now I had been too stuck in my own head to ask her about it. Telling her I did find a suit, asking her if she could tellif she found a wedding dress or if she wanted to keep it a secret. Felt like I was lacking yet again, another not–so–subtle reminder that I needed to do better. Selene had told Ayla when they met during Ayla’s coma that she only connected fated mates, she made them feel love for each other. She could not force mates to be good partners, and right now I was not being one for Ayla. The knowledge I was failing my mate, the knowledge that I was given. the one thing I prayed for so long. Only to not respect it like I should brokea little. In the end it kept me up for most of the
night.
I almost slept through my alarm, it would have been the first time. since finding Ayla I would not wake her up with a coffee in bed. Scolding myself I rushed out just in time, just before she woke up. Today would be the first day of the new Griffin. Today would be the first day of the new life where I would be the best mate to Ayla I could be.
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