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Chapter 187
I went back to the palace albeit reluctantly. Whether or not | wanted to admit it, Juan was right. | had two daughters who needed my help but I didn’t want to abandon Camilla. She was alive somewhere and she was probably scared and waiting forto find her butl couldn't. My hand hurt so badly that when | shifted, it started bleeding profusely. Juan and | had to wrap it in his shirt and hold it until we got back to the palace because it just wouldn't stop.
When we arrived, the physician was waiting out there for us. A small part ofhad expected Christine to be there too but | was grateful that she wasn't. I wasn't sure | would be able to look her in the eye after what had just happened. How did | look someone like her in the eye and tell her that | wasn't smart enough or fast enough to stop her cousin from going over a cliff. It was insanely stupid at best and careless at worst.
“His hand is badly hurt,” Juan explained and I rolled my eyes.
“I can speak for myself,” | muttered with disdain as the physician made his way over to look at my hand closer. “It isn’t anything bad, I just need you to wrap it up so that | can see my girls.” The physician pursed his lips. “Your majesty, this needs more than just wrapping. You are not healing from it. | don’t know why that would happen and | need to find out.” I turned to him with narrowed eyes. “Letmake one thing clear. | chere for my girls. As soon as the sun rises in the f**king sky, | am out of here to find my mate. | don’t care what you do or how you do it but you better f**king do it before then. Am I clear?” He swallowed deeply and | could smell the tangy scent of fear as it emanated from him. | wasn't like this on my best days and it should have said something aboutthat | was like this today but | couldn't bring myself to care. The physician nodded in understanding and gestured forto cwith him. We made our way to his quarters which was already prepared for me.
| made a point to ignore the bed that had been perfectly laid and sat on the chair. There was nothing that was going to makespend the night in this room. | didn't care if my hand was dangling off by a tendon and about to fall off. | would rather have one hand than both hands and my mate still be missing.
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“It looks like a very deep burn, your majesty,” the physician explained as he dumped rubbing alcohol into the wound. | couldn't stop myself from hissing out in pain. The wound was at risk of infection or so he kept mumbling under his breath as he tried his hardest to clean it out.
Juan stood a few feet to the left. He was pacing quietly and | wanted to tell him that his presence was doing more harm than good but on second thought, | realized that it was best if | had someone here because he was giving silent emotional support whether | wanted to admit it or not. This wasn't the best tto be alone but admitting that meant admitting that something was wrong and as far as | was concerned- nothing was wrong.
“Where are my daughters?” | asked once the physician started to dress the wound. | didn’t ask earlier because | hadn't wanted them to seelike that. “I need to see them. | chere for them after all.” Juan pursed his lips but nodded. He wantedto rest, that much was certain but he also knew that save for tacklingto the bed, that wasn't going to happen. The exact moment the physician finished wrapping up my hand, | shot to my feet. | was a bit dizzy and it took Juan discreetly holdingup fornot to keel over.
“I believe it is my duty to inform you that whatever was done to your hand is preventing it from healing at an accelerated rate,” the physician began. “Il am of the opinion that it will heal but at the rate a human does so we are looking at two months at least.
That burn bit far into your skin. | recommend a lot of rest because you lost a lot of-" “Stop,” | cut him off. “Thank you for dressing my hand. That is all that matters.” I turned on my heels and walked off before he could say another word. Out of the corner of my eye, | managed to catch a glimpse of his expression and | would have preferred if there was annoyance or anger but instead | saw pity. | didn’t need anyone's pity, much less him.
“I am going to see my daughters,” | said aloud before storming out of the room.
| could hear Juan rushing behindbut | barely paid any attention to him. He called out my nbut | didn’t stop. When he got close enough to me, | felt his hand reach out to grabso | spoke in a cold and soft voice. “If you touch me, | will break every bone in your fingers.” His hand stilled mid air. “I am just trying to help, Ryker.” “If you were helping, you would letbe out there looking for Camilla,” I said simply. “I don’t want to have this conversation over again like we have been doing. It has gotten tconsuming and exhausting. | didn’t stop you from followingaround but the least you could do is be f**king quiet.” | didn’t hear him speak after that because he turned on his heels and walked off. | should have felt bad for running him off but | couldn’t bring myself to. | made my way up the stairs to the girls‘ rooms only to find them missing. Panic had already began climbing in my chest when | felt a nudge to check mine. Bristling with worry and anxiety, | slowly made my way over and pushed the door open. When | saw both my girls lying in my bed, | let out a sigh of relief.
Aurora was asleep but Audrey was wide awake. She was curled up on her side and whispering to Christine but when she saw me, her eyes widened and she leaped into my arms. | had to use my non—injured arm to grab her and | held her as close as | could manage.
I looked up at Christine whose eyes were red rimmed with tears. | didn’t want to stare at her but | couldn't look away. There was something utterly damaged about her. | wanted to tell her that Camilla was fine, that | could feel it but I couldn't bring myself to say the words. They felt like lead on my tongue and ash in my throat.
“I'll give you a moment,” she said finally before givinga comforting tap on my arm and walking away. | watched her disappear and it was only after the door shut behind her that Audrey turned to me.
“Where is mummy?” she whispered and it felt like someone had taken claws to my heart and raked them over. “Is she coming up soon? | want to see her.” “Your mum is,” | trailed off not knowing how to explain, “your mum will be here soon. You just need to be a bit patient for her, okay?” She nodded. “What about the scary woman? What happened to her?” | sat on the edge of the bed with my daughter in my lap and slowly stroked her hair back. She was clean physically but the mental repercussions were what | was worried about. She was looking up atwith a mixture of fear and curiosity as if the mere thought of Reina was scary which considering how young she was, | could understand.
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“Your mum got rid of her,” | answered finally and her eyes widened to the point of saucers. “Your mother is so brave and she managed to kill the witch. She can never hurt you again.” “I want to be like mummy when I'm older,” her little voice held awe. “Will you tellhow she did it?" I looked out at the window. It was still pitch black and | knew | had to be out there. “Maybe later, right now you need to rest.” “What about you?” she asked but | brushed her off. | carefully tucked her into bed but when | was about to leave, she grabbed my arm. “Can you stay withuntil | fall asleep? I'm scared.”
When she said it like that, there was no way that I could refuse. | climbed in between her and Aurora and held them both as close as s possible . I looked at my youngest whose heart had stopped beating on that cliff edge. The raw pain | felt in that , om moment couldn't be quantified and Camilla had used up all of herself to bring her back to life. | still couldn't wrap head around what had happened. It seemed insane to me.
At spoint, | was going to have to cto reality about everything that happened on that cliff edge but | was only going to do it when | was with Camilla, | couldn't face it alone
| sat there with Audrey waiting patiently for her to fall asleep. Her eyes had started to drift close when the door opened and Juan walken in holding a steaming cup of what smelled like coffee. He handed it to me without looking and my brows rose in confusion. “If you are going out there, you need your strength,” he muttered and | shot him a grateful look as | took the cup from him and downed everything. He stood there by the corner of the room just waiting and watching.
Once Audrey was asleep, | made to leave but it felt like my entire body was spinning on its axis. | couldn't even get to my feet. | turned to Juan. “Helpup, will you?”
''I'm sorry but | cannot do that,” he didn't move from his spot. There was confusion at first before my eyes fell to the empty coffee mug. “You're going to kill yourself if you go out there like this. You need to be better for your kids. You are all that they have.” “You bastard,” | snarled but he just turned away from me.
He stopped with his hand on the door. “You'll thankfor this later.”