To Love You Again

813  A problematic smile

As depression sink him further, Lu Yin Ze realized that struggling was futile. Perhaps it was better if he give up...

He let his powerless body be dragged at the bottom of the quagmire. However, before he fully immersed himself in the darkness, a disturbing smell suddenly hit his nose.

He smelled a chicken rice porridge amidst the darkness.

Lu Yin Ze: ???

Why there was a chicken porridge at the bottom of the quagmire?

But the smell was so strong that he felt hungry and his stomach gurgled.

Lu Yin Ze woke up with a start.

...

He saw a white room filled with smoke.

This white room was a familiar scenery. He had lived in this kind of place most of his life.

This...is hospital?

His eyes moved around in the direction where the smoke came from.

Since he was staying in the VVIP ward of the hospital that the Lu family owned, Lu Yin Ze was given the presidential hospital suite.

There was a small kitchen in the corner. That was where the smoke come from.

Lu Yin Ze sat up slowly. He pried off the injections from his arm. An alarm beeped suddenly.

The person from the kitchen suddenly ran out. When Lu Yin Ze saw the person who ran out from the kitchen, He was surprised.

It was the person he least expected to see.

"...Tang Yin?"

Tang Yin was wearing an apron with the hospital's name at the front and holding a spatula. She too was shocked. Then her eyes turned joyful.

"You are finally awake with a sane mind this time! My porridge worked!"

Lu Yin Ze: "..."

Tang Yin went back to the kitchen and came out after. She was holding a glass of water.

Lu Yin Ze: ???

Tang Yin approached his hospital bed and handed him the water. "Can you hold the water? Or do you want me to help you drink it?"

Lu Yin Ze immediately raised his hand to receive the glass of water. However, when he recieved it, he felt the weight of it in his hand.

Why was it so heavy?

With shaking hands, he drank the water slowly. It was a bit warm. His stomach which was hurting since ages ago felt a bit comfortable.

After handing the glasses back to Tang Yin, Lu Yin Ze asked her with confusion, "W-why are you here?" His voice was horse and croacky.

Tang Yin put the glass of water on the bedside table.

"I am your guardian for now. The doctors are on their way."

As soon as her words fell, the nurses and doctors arrived. After a series of check-ups to Lu Yin Ze, the doctor sighed in relief.

"Thankfully, aside from hypoglycemia, there is no brain damage or serious effect in his motor reflexes. But we still need to undergone a couple of medical tests."

Tang Yin relaxed after hearing the dotor's somehow good news. "Then can he eat now?"

"He is only allowed to eat soft and plain food like porridge."

"That's good then."

The doctor asked a few more questions to the daze Lu Yin Ze. Tang Yin went to the kitchen and brought the porridge she was cooking.

Lu Yin Ze glanced at her again. He wondered by this woman was staying with him.

The memory of when he first woke up was now getting clearer in his mind. He remembered what Tang Yin said.

He slowly moved the spoon in the bowl as he asked her, "You said that my grandfather's funeral is taken care of by Xiong Zhi?"

"Ah...actually Yin Ze..."

Tang Yin then told Lu Yin Ze that after he fainted while hugging Old Lu's cold body, Xiong Zhi and Linfeng's people brought Head Master Lu to a safe place and preserved his body. They did not touch Head Master Lu without Lu Yin Ze's consent. Everyone was waiting for Lu Yin Ze to wake up so that he could send off his grandfather to the afterlife personally.

However, it took Lu Yin Ze almost a month to wake up.

So the funeral was postponed. Everyone's respected Lu Yin Ze's rights to observe Head Master Lu's funeral procession. Lu Yin Ze was the one who should led the funeral rites for his grandfather and no one complained about that.

Lu Yin Ze was silent. No one could tell what was he thinking under the long bangs. But his whole being was filled with gloominess.

Tang Yin bit her lips. She really doesn't want to see this kind of Lu Yin Ze so she spoke loudly while trying to ease the gloominess in the air.

"By the way, Yin Ze, aren't you hungry?"

Lu Yin Ze finally raised his head. He hid whatever kind of emotion his heart was brewing.

He looked at Tang Yin with curiosity. "What are you cooking?"

"Chicken porridge. Want some?"

"Is it edible?"

Tang Yin: ╬

Ah, the Lu Yin Ze she knew was still there.

The annoyance in her heart dissipated before it could form. But she still harrumphed.

"Of course. You will never forget its taste. This is the best chicken rice porridge in your entire life."

"Then I'll thank you in advance." He smiled.

Tang Yin could not help but stare at him. She expected the man to disagree and fight it out with her. But he smiled instead. Well, he must have no strength to argue with her.

However, Tang Yin felt something wrong with that smile.

She nodded with a confused heart and went back to the kitchen. The doctor and nurses left them after discussing with Lu Yin Ze his recuperating schedule.

Tang Yin watched with earnest expression as Lu Yin Ze took the first sip on the porridge.

The man suddenly halted.

Tang Yin felt nervous. "Why? Is it too salty?"

Lu Yin Ze lowered his head. He was silent for a moment.

That silence was killing Tang Yin. So she opened her mouth to ask Lu Yin Ze again when the latter raised his face and smiled.

"It's good. Very delicious."

That again.

That strange uncomfortable feeling was once again appeared seeing that smile. It was not a positive feeling, but kind of bitter and strangely painful.

Tang Yin could not figure out what was wrong. She just watched silently as Lu Yin Ze ate the porridge well.

He even ate too much that Tang Yin had to stop him. His stomach had been empty for three weeks, it would cause him pain if his stomach was suddenly filled to the brim.

Seeing him gulp down the porridge without a break, made her grit her teeth.

"I know I am great at cooking but you should not eat too much. Your stomach can't contain that much food."

"I need to be better quickly. My grandfather is waiting for grandma and mother. He wants to be reunited with them. At least he would be happy in the afterlife knowing his remains are beside his most beloved person."

Tang Yin was silent.

"..Besides...Your food is delicious." Lu Yin Ze smiled. However, that smile did not reach his eyes.

His lips only moved a little. It was so lifeless that Tang Yin felt suffocated.

Now Tang Yin understood where that strange feeling come from.

Lu Yin Ze's lost the shine and happiness in his smile. He was like a person who was going to the flow without any expectations in life. He is living and breathing well, but a huge part of him had given up.

That was the kind of smile he was showing.

Strangely, this Lu Yin Ze bothered Tang Yin the most.

She controlled her expression and acted casual. She took the bowl of porridge away from him. "I know. Drink some water first."

Lu Yin Ze was obedient. He was so behaved and calm that it was worrying.

Lu Yin Ze thanked her with a smile.

Lu Yin Ze acted too calm for someone who suffered terribly that night. He did not ask about the other heirs, his brother's condition, or about Ming Zhi Yi. Aside from being concerned with his father's funeral, he acted like usual.

Tang Yin was worried. Thus after seeing Lu Yin Ze closing his eyes to rest, she left to have a talk with the doctor to know more about Lu Yin Ze's current condition.

When she left, Lu Yin Ze opened his eyes. The peaceful expression he was showing was gone. His eyes and expression were lifeless.

He glanced at the hand that was covered in a bandage. This was the finger that was almost cut.

In reality, he could not tell if the porridge was good or not. He could not taste it. Lu Yin Ze lost his sense of taste.

Nevertheless, he was still alive. So what if he could not taste delicious food? So what if he could not tell the difference between sweet and bitter? For him, it was all the same. The same taste of emptiness.

He doesn't need to be happy or live in luxury to say that he was living well. He just needs to continue living for the sake of their Lu family name.

He leaned on the head of the bead weakly.

He needs to recuperate and be healthy as soon as possible. There were a lot of things to do.

The things he wanted to learn but push aside earlier were flooding in his mind.

His grandfather's funeral...His father-no the demon's punishment, his brother's well-being, the other heir's condition...and Xiong Zhi.

Lu Yin Ze closed his eyes.

How can he face the heirs who were greatly affected by this tragedy because of their family and him? He, a powerless person, doesn't deserve to face them.

****