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Lukas stared at Stacy and didn't know what to say at first. Or maybe it was because he knew what he wanted to say, and just didn't want to say it outloud. Because he had a feeling of what Stacy was going to reply.
"You know, it's impossible to expect someone to always understand you," Lukas said and smiled a little bitterly. "Even the ones who you expect to love and care for you–they won't always look and understand why you do certain things, you know?"
Stacy gauged Lukas' expression.
Somehow, there was such a wistful pain to it, almost as if he had experienced it countless times before. Almost as if he had been let down in the past and this was not the only instance it occurred.
Which was strange.
Not that Stacy really knew Lukas' past.
Then again, neither did Lukas fully know about her past either. But the fact still remained and it showed in the way that Lukas carried himself or even spoke to the others. It was incredible how someone could be part of a crowd and yet still feel separated from it all the same.
Lukas didn't understand Stacy's silence, but it made him feel a little awkward, uneasy even. What went through her mind? Did his words seem reasonable? Lukas had spoken as earnestly as possible.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt"So yeah…" Lukas rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe, just maybe I wanted someone who could unconditionally have their faith in me. Who wouldn't understand all of my actions, but still believe that I'm working in the best of the interest of everybody. I thought… I thought that maybe Chaerin or Lily could be that, but maybe I was mistaken or am expecting too much."
"Well, how long have you known Chaerin and Lily?" Stacy asked. "Based on our conversations in Lux before, it doesn't seem like you've known each other that long. We don't know each other that well either–so how are they supposed to have unconditional faith in you? That doesn't happen in an instant you know?"
Lukas' lips twitched slightly at that.
He almost expected Stacy to shut him down and perhaps make a statement similar to that of Chaerin's about how it was necessary to not always believe in him–but somehow, Stacy's words were reasonable.
Maybe it was because she was not in an emotional state like Chaerin's, so she was able to give a good answer.
Or maybe it was just a different way of seeing how the world worked.
"...I guess you do have some merit to your words," Lukas acknowledged.
Stacy cocked a brow at him. "Some merit?"
"You could still know a person for years and still not have faith in them, afterall."
"Well, obviously time is not the only factor. It's mostly being able to observe a person and know what they're like, it's being able to reasonably predict on how one might act or do around certain situations. You'll get a grasp on how they view the world and operate in it." Stacy crossed her arms. "Surely, I didn't have to spell out everything for you, right?"
"Um, no?" Lukas scratched his cheek. "But it certainly does help. I guess it's a matter of proving myself as a capable person who knows how to make the right calls then–but that requires me being able to do said calls, which again, in turn, will inevitably lead to friction."
Stacy pursed her lips. "... you're referring to your relationship with Chaerin?"
"Yes, but not quite." Lukas offered her a weak grin. "It's mostly about life-risking calls… so I do get why she's quite opposed to it and wishes that I don't do anything that harms me. But it's–"
"You certainly need to prove your credibility." Stacy relented with a nod. "I… I frankly don't know how you became good at thinking up plans on the spot, but then again, you do seem like an ingenious type."
"I am?"
"Not really."
"Hey!" Lukas wished he could bump shoulders with Stacy right now, but for now, he stuck out a tongue. "That hurts my feelings."
"But you have been racking up some credibility. From the sandworm, the incident where we all woke up in the desert too… and the Dryad too." Stacy pointed out. "Still doesn't completely put my heart at ease, but it's a good start."
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm"Thanks, I hope Chaerin comes to see it too."
"Well, try harder then." Stacy said and stuck her hands into her pockets. "I'm sure that there's a lot of opportunities where you'll be able to show her how dependable you are. Which is unfortunate–but that's what we get for going on a life-risking mission, right?"
"Mhmm." Lukas cracked a smile. "Thanks for listening to me, Stacy. It honestly just helps to be able to clear my head like this, just talking it over with someone."
"That'll be 1000 Credits," Stacy said.
Lukas blinked and then bursted out into laughter. He hadn't heard someone mention Nyx Credits in such a long while that he almost forgot that was a thing–but in the face of someone who worked her damn hardest, Stacy remembered.
"I'm not joking, Lukas." Stacy dryly said. "You've come to me for so much advice and venting that it somehow feels appropriate to start charging you for my time."
"When I become super rich, I'll pay you, I swear."
"That doesn't sound comforting at all."
"Aw man, you have no faith, really?"
"We've just discussed why, haven't we?"
The two Vampires ended up chuckling at each other, completely wrapped up in the moment that it was hard for them to notice that someone was searching for Lukas.
Chaerin had stayed in the hut and tried to go to sleep, but after several long and painful minutes of twisting and turning to bed–she eventually went up to go look for Lukas. She didn't quite know if she was going to apologize or what, but she wanted things to be better between them.
And yet Chaerin stopped in her tracks when she saw the two.