Villain Cultivator (Web Novel)

The system notification appeared at a bad time.

Currently, Miaomiao was drowned in the pleasure of embracing his precious wife. He didn't pay attention to the system screens.

As such, Miaomiao minimized them, postponing his decision for a later time.

However, the system sponsor pranked him.

DING

DING

DING

DING

The sponsor spammed the notification sound to interrupt Miaomiao's happy sexy time.

Despite the loud system sound, Miaomiao didn't flinch. Pampering his favorite wife was more important than paying attention to the annoying system.

Ding

[Due to the ignorance, stupidity, and silliness of the system user, the system has automatically designated Wei Yuan as your official spouse.]

Miaomiao hadn't realized it yet. Currently, semi-transparent blue screens flashed in front of Wei Yuan. However, Wei Yuan disregarded it as she prioritized her time with Miaomiao.

Ding

[A kind mysterious sponsor has bestowed you a system.]

[A kind mysterious sponsor has unlocked inventory system feature for you.]

[All donations will appear in your system inventory from now on.]

Ding

[Congratulations! You can access Mao Miaomiao's system menus.]

[You can check all log files and feedback that Mao Miaomiao had received in the past.]

[You can now receive announcement messages, notification messages, and alerts.]

[You can now receive feedback and communicate with observing dao gods.]

[You can now receive donations from dao gods.]

Ding

[The kind and mysterious sponsor has invited Kishin Douji to the channel.]

[Kishin Douji has joined the channel.]

[Kishin Douji is pleased to see a fellow Oni with promising talent.]

[Kishin Douji disapproves of your current relationship with Mao Miaomiao and his sponsor. He urges you to break up with him as soon as possible.]

[Kishin Douji gifts you a supply box. You can access it in your system inventory.]

It would take Wei Yuan hours before she could realize what she had obtained from Miaomiao other than the advanced fire element Qi.

…

Several hours later

Ding

[Your bone marrow has adapted to the fire element Qi.]

[Congratulations! Your bone marrow can start producing fire element Qi.]

Ding

[Kishin Douji congratulates you.]

[Kishin Douji offers to become your dao god.]

[You can read the "Contract Manual.PDF" through the system's download folder.]

[Would you like to become Kishin Douji's vessel?]

"The heck?"

Wei Yuan had been preoccupied with her dual-cultivating and solidifying a new elemental crystal. At first, she didn't notice the weird system alert sounds. But now, she saw several blue screens floating behind Miaomiao's head.

Because of the slip of concentration, Miaomiao also snapped out of his trance and stopped cultivating. He gazed at Wei Yuan in confusion.

"What's wrong? The circulation rotation suddenly stops inside you. Are you hurt?"

"No. Say, Miaomiao. Can you see the blue squares with weird writings behind you?"

"What?"

Miaomiao turned around. Then, he found several floating system screens behind him.

The messages were odd. Miaomiao didn't recognize a new name in the log messages.

"I have no memory of these messages…" Miaomiao said that in Gandalf's voice. But then, he turned to Wei Yuan and widened his eyes.

"Wait! Can you see the system messages!?"

"What's a system? What are system messages? Oh, are they these messages?"

Wei Yuan was smart. As soon as Miaomiao mentioned the keyword, "System Messages", she thought of J-Phone apps and treated them as one of the word applications. She began reading the backlogs.

Then, she discovered a HELP.PDF file in her download folder. It contained all information about her system and her spouse's perks.

Among the details, she found some interesting info.

…

Spouse Access Rights

You can access your spouse's system menus, log files, downloaded files, system inventory, Isolation Training Space, and view his real-time activities with your system. Though, depending on your spouse's permission, you may or may not change or alter his items, system inventory, or the downloaded files.

System Inventories

1. You and your spouse will always have the same amount of inventory slots.

2. You or your spouse may unlock more system inventory slots by pressing the "Unlock" button. One hundred thousand liters of Life Essence is required to unlock one additional inventory slot for both you and your spouse.

3. You and your spouse may exchange or transfer items in your system inventories. Depending on your spouse's privacy settings, you may or may not move his items to your system inventory. Vice Versa, you can adjust your privacy settings if you wish to give or terminate your spouse's right to access or move items in your system inventory.

3.1 Item transfer or item exchange between spouses has no limitation or range restriction.

3.2 You cannot store a living being in the inventory unless the system sponsor grants you the ability.

4. Depending on the system sponsor's judgment, he may add, change, transfer, remove, or delete items in your inventory slots, including the termination of your system inventory feature.

5. Any gifts from live-streaming viewers will appear in your available inventory slots. If your inventory slots are occupied, the items will be giving to your spouse's inventory slots. But if none of you has enough inventory room, the gifts will be added to your inventory slots when they are available.

…

The system was new to Wei Yuan. She explored her system menu to see where she could access Miaomiao's system and his inventory.

The navigation was simple. There was a large icon, "Miaomiao's System", on her desktop. All her features also appeared as app icons, so she found it fun to play around with it, just like playing with her J-Phone.

The next second, Miaomiao's complicated and user-unfriendly game-like menus appeared in front of Wei Yuan. She laughed and started asking him as she pointed at the system screens.

"What's this skill fusion? Skill List? Protagonist Hunting Quest? Oh, wow. You're actually hunting Liu Bian for… HOLY GOLDEN CLITORIS!! 100 BILLION LITERS OF LIFE ESSENCE!? Won't your dantian explode if you have that!?"

"WAIT, WHAT!?"

The quest's content and the rewards were Miaomiao's reverse scale. He panicked when Wei Yuan suddenly blurted out all his secrets.

Fortunately, the current Miaomiao had matured A LITTLE after he had so many babies. Wei Yuan didn't know. Had she mentioned the quests before she had gotten pregnant, he would have killed her.

By reflex, Miaomiao covered her mouth. Then, he whispered, "Where did you learn this?"

Wei Yuan pointed at her system screens.

Miaomiao frowned and looked in her finger's direction. Only then, he finally realized that the blue screens were not his system screens.

All of them faced Wei Yuan, not him!

Miaomiao immediately checked his backlogs and all the system messages that he had skipped reading.

Then, he found the source of this madness.

"Designated… Spouse?"

Wei Yuan peeked at Miaomiao's system screen and read his log messages as well.

"Oh, that? That thing seems to be the cause. I just spied your log files and found those. I have to admit – You have an interesting sponsor. Is this the infamous perk of being under a dao god like Jia Shan's dao god? What was his name? Oh, right. Kunwu, right? Oh, hey. I found two sealed crates in your inventory slots. When are you going to open it?"

Miaomiao sweated profusely as if his ex-wife from the modern world suddenly had access to his phone, PC, and his encrypted porn folders.

"Err, can we talk in the Isolation Training Space?"

Miaomiao glanced at a few lines among the system messages. It told Miaomiao that he could invite her to the space now.

"Sure, I don't mind. But I have a condition. You must only invite me to your space! I want to be alone with you in there. Those girls have been monopolizing you long enough. It's my turn now!"

"That's not… wait, shit! I'm afraid you won't be alone in there."

"Why?"

Miaomiao sweated a waterfall. He wanted to confess that a living sex doll was living in there, but he suddenly lost all the courage.

Still, Miaomiao braced himself for whatever consequences he might have to face after Wei Yuan had found out.

"There's … another godly being in there."

"Ah, I see," Wei Yuan nodded and smiled. "You're hiding another bitch in there, don't you?"

"… I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't be," Wei Yuan crossed her arms and laughed. However, her killing intent soared, and her pseudo dao avatar of a giant female oni with long fangs and long horns appeared. "As long as that bitch doesn't lay eggs or shit another baby from her stinking piss hole, you're cleared."

Miaomiao's presence shrunk, but he was relieved. Unfortunately, he let his guard down and his tongue slipped, "Don't worry. She's just a sex doll."

"Oho? A sex doll? You have so many wives, but you're still playing with a sex doll?"

The pseudo dao avatar behind Wei Yuan suddenly transformed and became a devil oni. The devil's long sharp teeth, scary angry expressions, and red eyes scared Miaomiao.

…

'RIP, Miaomiao. You'll be missed.'

Outside the bedroom, the girls sneakily crawled away as quietly as possible. They fled from the scene as something bad might happen soon. Even Zhao Yun leaped away from the rooftop in a panic by instinct.

A few seconds later, Miaomiao's painful cry was so loud that the basilisk cockatoos flapped their wings and attempted to fly away from the city in a panic. Ma Moxi's subordinates in the Ma Residence could even hear the shrilling sound.

…

A few minutes later, Miaomiao had survived his wife's punishment. Although it didn't hurt as much, he still cried and pretended to look pitiful in front of Wei Yuan.

"Stop pretending. Nut-punting a few times can't possibly hurt a monster with an orc dick like you."

Miaomiao stopped acting and stood up. He smiled and embraced Wei Yuan. Then, he kissed her forehead, "I'm so sorry, honey. You should know that you're always my number one."

"Yeah, sure. Care to explain what the porn magazine and all your stash in your inventory were?"

Miaomiao sweated again. He remembered about the divine-grade 200-color-page porn magazine, containing the sexy photos of 200 peerless beauties from the celestial realm. He didn't dare to explain the SECRET feature within the mag, so he threw the dirt to his sponsor.

"Honey, I was framed. My sponsor forcefully gave it to me, but I can't dispose of it since this item will attract Heaven Tribulation. All divine-grade items don't belong in this world."

"… Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. Remember when I brought out 4 divine hearts? Tribulation clouds gathered, but they waited for me to finish the pill first. Then, they tried to steal it from us."

Miaomiao had learned of what had happened from Zhao Bao, so he used it as an excuse

"Okay. I believe you."

"Great!"

"Hand over the porn magazine. Transfer it to my inventory slot."

"Err…"

"There are only 40 available slots, right? The porn magazine is taking one slot, so it wastes your precious inventory spaces. I don't have any need to store or hide many precious items other than my heaven-grade robe, so you can use my inventory space as spare storage."

"But… I still…."

"Why do you need a porn magazine when you have me and other concubines?"

"…"

Miaomiao cried. He had never read it, but he had to surrender it to Wei Yuan. He reluctantly transferred the item.

Although Miaomiao could ignore Wei Yuan's order and keep the magazine, he was afraid that this sensitive wife might be sad again if he were to oppress her. Thus, he chose to become a gentleman and submit to his wife's command.

Still, Miaomiao's nature refused to yield. He scanned Wei Yuan's system logs to find fault with her, so he could limit her blackmail power.

Fortunately, he could also access Wei Yuan's system and check her backlogs. It wasn't hard to find a suspicious notification message.

"Who is this Kishin Douji, wifey?"

Wei Yuan shrugged, "No clue. Who is it?"

"I see his name in your system logs."

"Never heard of him. Let me check."

"…"

It seemed that Wei Yuan was innocent. She didn't know anything about this person.

Then, they discovered that Kishin Douji was asking Wei Yuan to become his vessel!

Wei Yuan was delighted, "Ah, so I can have a sponsor, too!"

She thought of accepting the offer and she extended her hand to press the [Accept] button.

But Miaomiao seized her hand.

"Stop!"

Wei Yuan looked at Miaomiao with the corner of her eyes, "What? Why can't I have a sponsor?"

"That's not a sponsor. That's a dao god! If you accept his offer, you might lose your chance to become an immortal!"

"W-What!?"

At that moment, Wei Yuan remembered how Jia Shan had been avoiding the questions regarding his dao god. He always suggested the girls to not bow their heads to a god from a higher realm unless they couldn't advance to the 7th-stage before the age of 50.

"So… Are Dao Gods bad guys? Is your sponsor a bad guy, too?"

"They seem nice at glance, but there's something we don't know. Don't accept any god's proposal for now."

"But Kishin gave me a contract manual. At least, we should read it."

"… Alright. Let's read it together. But I'll tell you this - If he's up to no good, decline his invitation immediately! I don't like this guy!"

Ding

[Kishin Douji dislikes your interference.]

[Kishin Douji sincerely wants to help Wei Yuan. He tells you to stay out of his business.]

[Kishin Douji urges Wei Yuan to read the Contract Manual.PDF before she makes the decision.]

Both Miaomiao and Wei Yuan received the same notification messages. They glanced at each other and opened the PDF file to read the details.

Although the couple seemed air-headed, both of them didn't miss one particular message. They were wary of Kishin Douji because of his suspicious comment.

[Kishin Douji disapproves of your current relationship with Mao Miaomiao and his sponsor. He urges you to break up with him as soon as possible.]

Wei Yuan regretted trying to press the accept button while Miaomiao became instinctively irritated by this existence as if Kishin was trying to woo his wife.

Miaomiao thought to himself.

'You'd better not going after my wife, you dick! Can't you see that she's taken!? If you really want any Oni to be your vessel, go ask Wei Feng or Wei Xiang. I'm sure those bastards will accept your offer without caring about the consequences!'